Should I drop out?? Battling with depression & home sickness..

Hi, I'm new to this but after reading some other threads and seeing the great advice people give I thought I'd give it a go and see if there is anyone out there that could help me out.

I'm in my second year studying Events Management. I've known since a couple of months into my first year that this isn't what I want to do and I don't enjoy the degree in the slightest, therefore making it harder for me to motivate myself to do work etc. I didn't drop out in first year because I didn't want to let my parents down, and I do want to get some sort of degree, so I've stuck with it. I live 4 hours from home and my family and I do have an extremely supportive family, my relationship with my parents and sister has improved significantly since I moved away and since I began to suffer from depression last November.

I was convinced by a friend at uni (who has now coincidentally dropped out) to go to a doctor, who gave me anti depressants which I was on from November '11 to March '12. I took myself off them after meeting my current boyfriend and thinking everything was all fine and dandy...which it was for a while, until I moved back to uni for my second year Sept '12. I'm still with my boyfriend and he is incredibly supportive and it's great to have someone to talk to but he lives at home and doesn't go to uni so doesn't really understand that much when I talk to him about my home sickness. I don't know whether I'm just severely homesick a lot of the time or if my depression is starting to creep back.

I live in a house with 8 friends, but feel alone 90% of the time. When the others are in the kitchen I try to avoid going down, even though these are my friends, I have no idea why. I spend a lot of time in my room on the top floor alone or at my boyfriends. My flatmates have just found new places to live next year and I'm not invited to join. I can't say I'm that surprised as I don't see them all that much despite living with them but I am close to each of them individually, so that is upsetting. I can't live with my friends on my course either so I think I will have to live alone next year, and I'm really worried about it as obviously it's not going to help with the loneliness that I already feel so much.

This is just another thing that makes me want to drop out, or transfer to a university closer to home. I would really appreciate it if anyone has done this or knows anyone who has done it as I'm not sure how easy the process is. If I continued with the same course, which I do not enjoy but will stick with if I have to, I would be going into a second year course with a class that have already known each other for a year. I would love to just move home and start over again in first year at a different university but I feel stupid paying the higher fees when I will probably ending up doing a course that is in a similar field anyway.

I'm also really worried about telling my parents that I want to leave. They know all about my depression but I constantly lie to them and tell them that everything is fine here when it isn't, I'm not happy here at all. I really don't want to let them down.

I know that I haven't really given a direct question for anyone to answer but anyone out there with any sort of experience like mine or any advice at all I would really appreciate it.

Thank you so much for reading.
Sarah

Hi, I am actually in a similar situation to yourself, I too am studying Events Management but at Sheffield Hallam and too have known from the first year (I am currently in my second year) that this is not something I want to do but have carried on as family members have constantly told me not to drop out like my sister. I suffer from severe anxiety and low moods which has left me feeling constantly down and wanting to quit university.

I currently take medication for my anxiety and attend therapy sessions however I am yet to feel any benefit from this. I didn't get on with my flatmates during my first year at uni or many people on my course due to it being an all girl course (I find it hard to get out with girls) which has left me feeling constantly alone and isolated. Due to my anxiety I find it hard communicating with people in class and have often missed seminars as a result, the fact that I really do not enjoy my course also influences my decision not to attend seminars as I am unmotivated and generally cannot be bothered with having to be in a room with people I do not get along with.

I have joined numerous societies to attempt to make friends however I am having no look with this which is further adding to my low moods. I often spend most nights alone in the library feeling worthless and wondering what I did wrong to end up in this situation as during school and college I had a great group of friends. I currently live with just my boyfriend however he is graduating this year which means that as I don't have any friends in Sheffield I will have to move back into halls for my final year which I hated in the first year. I also know how depressed I feel when I am alone and know that being at uni completely alone in my final year will be too much for me, however I also know that if I was to take a gap year then I would probably never return to finish my degree.

At the moment I don't even want to return to finish the second semester of year 2 as my anxiety and low moods have gotten better since being home for Christmas I am also always wondering how I will cope in my final year alone if I am struggling to cope now when I have such great support from my boyfriend.

I have really been thinking of dropping out after finishing second year but I am not even sure if I would still get some sort of qualification for the 2 years that I will have passed but I also don't want to waste the 2 years that I would have done If I would leave without any qualification after 2 years.

I'm in a similar situation, except I do like my course and enjoy it, I'm studying Psychology at Sussex and it's a good course, but last term I had a really difficult time, my mum was really ill so I was visiting home a lot of weekends to take a bit of the pressure of looking after her off my dad and younger sister, and my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was slowly and painfully deteriorating, and we eventually broke up about a week ago. My housemates last term, instead of being in any way understanding, gossiped about me (while i was still in the house and within earshot) never being in the house (I was in the library a lot of the time working, and I'm also on the committee for a society) and even to go as far as bitching about me because I cook (they didn't, they didn't eat often as they were watching their figures, and when they did, they mostly had microwaved ready meals). It was quite quiet insidious bullying at first but when i informed them that i wouldn't be staying another year, i received spiteful emails saying i hadnt thought about their needs and about the 8 week old kitten (that i never wanted or thought was a good idea) they had bought for themselves to live in the student house about 2 weeks into our second year. When the emails became really nasty I moved out, luckily it was just a few days before term ended and I had completed all deadlines so moved back home for christmas. I'm spending the remainder of this year with a host family, who I moved in with yesterday, its alright but very lonely. I have usually felt pretty flat at uni, with rehearsals for the choir im in being the only thing i have to look forward to, but recently, with moving to a new place, imminent exams, a messy breakup of a four year relationship, worrying about ever running into my bullying housemates again, and feeling extremely unbelieveably homesick, i just want to transfer to a closer university for my final year. I live in Kent, but it takes me about 3 hours to get home due to trains being weird, and I have felt awful recently, knowing that when I'm home its never for long enough. I know I've got to complete my exams but was wondering if there was any way of transferring my degree and the credits earnt to a nearer university to complete my second year, or just to do my 3rd year, as I cannot imagine spending another year here, its a lovely city and I've made good friends but my low feelings meant I am pushing them away as I'm becoming more withdrawn, and I don't see myself getting any better while I still live here. I have no one to talk to while I'm here and don't want to call home as I just get more homesick. Any help would be appreciated, I just have no idea what to do.

I know how you feel. Luckily I got on with my flatmates in halls first year and didn't have any problems with them and I still live with 2 of them this year. Homesickness is a horrible thing and so hard to cope with, all I want to do is call home and say I want to come back but you don't want to worry anyone and hearing their voices can make you feel worse at times. I know that if you apply to transfer but doing the same course, if the modules you have done are similar then they will accept you, I'm not sure how it works with the credits though. I think you have to ring them and ask them if it's something they are willing to accept, as it's half way through a year and not just starting a new term in September. This is what I read on the UCAS website anyway. So it's up to the university you want to change to.
What is a host family? Could you tell me more about that as it's something I could look into?

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate it
Sarah x