Bad Boys gone good?

Title says it all really.
A few years back when I was 15-16, I was in with a rough crowd, the sort that went out looking for trouble. I drank, did drugs, skipped school and got a reputation. Now I wasn't one of those girls who slept around, sure I'd snog guys but who didn't at that age?!
Anyways, eventually when I was 17, I realised how much of my life I was wasting. I'd spent 2 years drinking, taking pills and smoking pot, skipping school and doing nothing. I got into fights and got myself a reputation. I left the group - I went entirely cold turkey on them, changed my number, deleted my facebook everything. I stopped hanging out with them and dumped my then bf who was in the crowd. I needed a fresh start. I stayed on at school, got good grades, got an apprenticeship and am currently working in Business Management while studying my degree. I turned myself around and went from the bad girl to good girl. I'm so happy and proud of myself for what I've achieved. However, people still remember that reputation.

I've now been out of that crowd for 5 years. Work 50 hours a week and don't do drugs. Sure I still see them about, they acknowledge me and are polite, however they've still all stayed the same. A couple got part time jobs but non work full time, still waste their weekends on booze and drugs. A few weeks back, just after christmas, I was out with the guys - never a good move drinking wise! - and got quite merry. I ran into one of the lads from the old crowd, I will admit, he was the best of a bad bunch, proper sweetheart and dead lovely. The night is a tad blurry but I didn't do anything too bad. Just chatted and flirted with him for a few hours, he walked me to meet my friends at the end of the night to make sure I got home safe too.

I've known this guy for just under 8 years now, after that night, we added eachother on facebook as I don't mind being mates with the guy. Never had anything against him. However, I think i must have led him on on the night out, I do get very flirty when I've had a few especially around guys I feel comfortable around. He's since asked me out a few times, each time, I've turned him down as I am very busy, hell I work so much I don't get much time for a social life! The thing is I'm tempted, very tempted, he's cute, funny, works and a sweetheart. But he's still in with the bad crowd. Does all the same stuff he used to when I was in the group. I'm also terrified. I've dated in the past but I always stop it before they get close. I've never slept with a guy because I push them away to protect myself and I doubt he'd be the sort of guy who would wait long.

I've asked a few of my close mates who also knew him from my past, half say go for it, half say be careful and don't do it. So I'm torn. I wouldn't mind being friends with the guy but I am so, so scared of dating him. Any advice would be really appreciated. Sorry for the length but I needed to explain as best as I could.

Thank you :smile:

Reply 1

MancBoy

You subconsciously want him to stay bad but fooling yourself that he has changed/you can change him.

Reply 2

gitch_28

meeting him for a drink can't hurt can it?

Reply 3

ZRO

Obviously people change with time so you should give him the benefit of the doubt

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 4

CJKay

Original post by MancBoy

You subconsciously want him to stay bad but fooling yourself that he has changed/you can change him.

This.
You know in the back of your head that if he really was this changed, awesomely good guy he would had probably also have moved out of that crowd by now, but he hasn't and now you're trying to rationalise it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Sorry for huge delay in response, not had any internet access to get onto TSR since i posted this :frown:

Since i posted, he's asked me out 3 times. I said no to the initial 2, but yes for when we're both free for the 3rd as it's for a drink in mutual territory. Thing is, we've been speaking on a daily basis, he confides in me stuff that he wouldn't tell his lad mates, simply because he knows what they're like. He's also told me that he is getting off the drugs, cutting down on drinking etc and looking for better work.
For all I know, this could just be him telling me what he thinks I want to hear. Which in a way I do. However I'm still terrified of actually going on a 'date'.
He hasn't mentionned meeting up in a couple of weeks now, do you think that he's given up or that he has been as busy as he's said? (He's going through some stuff right now from what he's told me and isn't always available to talk)
I've realised that I do really like him for him, he's a sweet, lovely guy that I get on well with, despite the crowd he's in with, just because he's in with them, doesn't mean I have to have anything to do with them.
How do I broach the subject with him again? Or just keep on flirting, he's still giving me daily compliments etc.

Thanks :smile:

Bad Boys gone good?

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