The Student Room Group

One night stands - advice from guys

So basically, Im a girl and i recently had my first one night stand. The guy was really nice, and in the morning he asked for my number and we met up again later again that day and hes texted me a few times, and he's now left the area because he lives in another part of the country. Im relieved that i dont have to see him again if i dont want to, and i want to make it clear that i dont want to have a relationship with him and id be happy tp never see him again.
But i was just wondering how most guys feel after a one night stand, like if you had a good time would you consider having a relationship with the person evn if it was long distance??
The thing is, hes sort of implied that hed like a relationship, but i cant help thinking that he just wants a chance to have sex in the future whenever he wants; and theres not much chance of us having a proper relationship because of how far away he lives so he wouldnt have to worry about me getting too clingy. Obviously i hardly know him so i dont know much about his character, so i dont if i can trust him, but i am just wondering how a guy generally feels after a ONS. Also could it just be that he is a nice guy, so he wanted to keep in contact?
I dont believe that many guys want to get into a relationship after having a one night stand, (especially with someone like me as im not that attractive and he probably things i am easy cos i made it quite obvious i have low self esteem) but im just wondering about people opinions on the matter
Anyway, sorry for rambling on, if you actually bothered to read this whole essay of a post.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
So basically, Im a girl and i recently had my first one night stand. The guy was really nice, and in the morning he asked for my number and we met up again later again that day and hes texted me a few times, and he's now left the area because he lives in another part of the country. Im relieved that i dont have to see him again if i dont want to, and i want to make it clear that i dont want to have a relationship with him and id be happy tp never see him again.
But i was just wondering how most guys feel after a one night stand, like if you had a good time would you consider having a relationship with the person evn if it was long distance??
The thing is, hes sort of implied that hed like a relationship, but i cant help thinking that he just wants a chance to have sex in the future whenever he wants; and theres not much chance of us having a proper relationship because of how far away he lives so he wouldnt have to worry about me getting too clingy. Obviously i hardly know him so i dont know much about his character, so i dont if i can trust him, but i am just wondering how a guy generally feels after a ONS. Also could it just be that he is a nice guy, so he wanted to keep in contact?
I dont believe that many guys want to get into a relationship after having a one night stand, (especially with someone like me as im not that attractive and he probably things i am easy cos i made it quite obvious i have low self esteem) but im just wondering about people opinions on the matter
Anyway, sorry for rambling on, if you actually bothered to read this whole essay of a post.


There is, like, a large buffer zone between ONS and serious relationship, you know?

Like 2NS, 3NS, 4NS, brief fling, dating, FWBs, short-term relationship, etc. You can make it whatever you want it to be.

Its like if you start a tv series and the first episode is good you decide to watch a bit more. You can still turn it off if its ****. You don't have to buy the complete dvd box set with director's commentary.
Original post by py0alb
There is, like, a large buffer zone between ONS and serious relationship, you know?

Like 2NS, 3NS, 4NS, brief fling, dating, FWBs, short-term relationship, etc. You can make it whatever you want it to be.

Its like if you start a tv series and the first episode is good you decide to watch a bit more. You can still turn it off if its ****. You don't have to buy the complete dvd box set with director's commentary.


That metephor is fantastic.
Original post by py0alb
There is, like, a large buffer zone between ONS and serious relationship, you know?

Like 2NS, 3NS, 4NS, brief fling, dating, FWBs, short-term relationship, etc. You can make it whatever you want it to be.

Its like if you start a tv series and the first episode is good you decide to watch a bit more. You can still turn it off if its ****. You don't have to buy the complete dvd box set with director's commentary.


Although I agree with the point you are making, it is a theoretical one. Once you start something like that with someone and feelings develop, which they inevitably do after some time, you would have to be a pretty callous bastard to "turn it off if its ****". I think people should take slightly more responsibility for their actions than that.
Reply 4
Original post by Double Agent
Although I agree with the point you are making, it is a theoretical one. Once you start something like that with someone and feelings develop, which they inevitably do after some time, you would have to be a pretty callous bastard to "turn it off if its ****". I think people should take slightly more responsibility for their actions than that.


I think it would be more callous to pretend to be in a happy relationship with someone you no longer felt affection and attraction for.

You have to go through a string of relationships of various lengths before you find the right one that you are happy to stick with. Thats life. Stubbornly sticking with a relationship despite it not being a happy one is entirely stupid.

Thinking its a good decision to "settle" is the cause of 90% of divorces.
Original post by py0alb
I think it would be more callous to pretend to be in a happy relationship with someone you no longer felt affection and attraction for.

You have to go through a string of relationships of various lengths before you find the right one that you are happy to stick with. Thats life. Stubbornly sticking with a relationship despite it not being a happy one is entirely stupid.

Thinking its a good decision to "settle" is the cause of 90% of divorces.


Oh of course, I totally agree with that. I think Im just disillusioned with the grey casual area of sex/relationships after its gone sour everytime! I think there has to be a level of openness on both sides, which isnt always forthcoming, people are so emotionally retarded these days.
Reply 6
Original post by Double Agent
Oh of course, I totally agree with that. I think Im just disillusioned with the grey casual area of sex/relationships after its gone sour everytime! I think there has to be a level of openness on both sides, which isnt always forthcoming, people are so emotionally retarded these days.


You just have to see it as a necessary process and enjoy it as much you can. and try and pick less emotionally retarded partners to do it with, of course.

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