Was this rude of him to say to me in bed?

Ok so the guy I am seeing and I have not had sex yet. But we are both very attracted to each other. I was lying on top of him and we were cuddling and kissing he goes *you might wanna change your knickers, they're getting quite wet*. And he was being pretty serious. This really upset me as I thought he'd be happy I was turned on by him and also he is pretty kinky and unreserved so I didn't think that would turn him off. Maybe he was annoyed cause we weren't having sex. He also made a comment the other day about a lace black top I was wearing say *wow that is very sexy, did not expect a lady like you to wear that* which upset me a little. Any thoughts? :frown:

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Reply 1

Tier

Or, he was making a joke.

#firstworldproblems

Think he's just trying to hint he wants sex tbh... It seems like a male attempt at subtlety (i.e. a bad one). Don't read too much into it

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Reply 4

Pawsies

Talk to him about it.

He might mean you are surprising him, but in a good way.

The only way you will know is if you ask him and talk about it.

Reply 5

Aries1992

I think your reading too much into it. The knickers comment is weird if he was being serious (imagine it being the opposite way round and he having a hard on and you like oh you may want to go and have a ****) lol. But I think the top comment is just that maybe he sees you as a more cute gf type than sexy. Idk :s

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Reply 6

STOmelody

That would irritate me. I think the next time he says that just get him to explain what he means. It usually gives him a chance to realise what he has said is inappropriate or allows him to explain himself further.

IE, "what do you mean by a lady like me?"

Reply 7

19eightynine

Do you actually think he was being serious, or do you think it might be more likely he was hinting at having sex; just maybe, I mean, you were in bed together and all. :dontknow:

Reply 8

Isolated-Mature

I think he means well but is being a bit clumsy in his choice of words. I'm not surprised you felt upset. I think you need to challenge him next time he says something that you don't feel comfortable with. You could ask *Why wouldn't I wear a sexy top?* and see what he says. He sounds a bit inexperienced in his chat-up lines and he needs a good lady (you) to teach him how to say the right things to a girl.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by 19eightynine

Do you actually think he was being serious, or do you think it might be more likely he was hinting at having sex; just maybe, I mean, you were in bed together and all. :dontknow:

Yeah I do. He seemed pretty pissed off. And when I got up to change them he didn't stop me. And when I came back he said sorry if I made you feel awkward. So yeah :/

Reply 10

Lexi99

I think the knickers thing was a hint that 'you're getting wet and i like it', ie he wants to have sex.

The top thing, well he probably didnt see you as somebody who wore revealing stuff.

Dont worry though, its all positive stuff, he likes you and wants to have sex with you

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Isolated-Mature

You're right, he is the kind of guy that will crack bad jokes to break an awkward silence etc, guess I will have to try and go along with it and see what happens :smile:

Reply 12

Lexi99

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah I do. He seemed pretty pissed off. And when I got up to change them he didn't stop me. And when I came back he said sorry if I made you feel awkward. So yeah :/

He said 'sorry i made you feel awkward'. This means that he didnt mean 'you're a dirty skank you needs to change her underwear', he liked it! He didnt want you to get all upset and actually go and change.

Next time he says something like that, flirt back, be a bit cheeky

Reply 13

Indieboohoo

You are either reading too much into it or being overly sensitive.I think he was just joking, about the bra thing any way.

Reply 14

Clare~Bear

I don't think he wanted to upset you, he was trying to say that he finds you sexually attractive and that he hopes you're turned on by him.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by 19eightynine

Ah, if that's what happened, then it's safe to say he is a loser; leave well alone, find someone with a good sense of humor who shows you respect - it actually sounds embarrassing to be him, I'm slightly cringing.

I think he was annoyed that we hadn't had sex in a month and also I remember him saying he is not a fan of girls lying on top so maybe he genuinely was annoyed but I still think it was insensitive. He has been very turned on though every other time.

Reply 16

Ultimate1

Original post by 19eightynine

Strong white knight.

For christ sakes he was just flirting the OP is looking too much into this and lo and behold it didn't take too long for a White Knight to show uo to rescue his damsel in distress.

Reply 17

danny111

You are on top of him with wet panties and he isn't making a move?

What's wrong with him?

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by danny111

You are on top of him with wet panties and he isn't making a move?

What's wrong with him?

lol. well he said he wanted to have sex with me but I was going through a messy break up and he wanted to wait a while. That's what he said..

Reply 19

Quilt

I'd say he's just being playful and in some respects fairly suggestive.

I doubt he seriously wants you to get off of him and find new underwear immediately before he considers walking out.