My girlfriend dumped me
She said she still had feelings for me last week, then dumped me. She's now saying she wouldn't care if I got with someone else. I asked her how she was able to 'turn everything off' but she said that's just what people do.
I don't want to lose her, so we're trying as just friends, but I still like her a lot. I dunno if it's wise, because in the back of my mind I keep thinking if we go back to mates like we once were, then there's a chance stuff might work out again. Am I just dreaming here?
Why has she said she couldn't care less, when she said she had feelings for me? It's as though she just said she had feelings for me still, when she didn't. And now she's saying she wouldn't care less if I got with someone else?
I don't want to lose her, so we're trying as just friends, but I still like her a lot. I dunno if it's wise, because in the back of my mind I keep thinking if we go back to mates like we once were, then there's a chance stuff might work out again. Am I just dreaming here?
Why has she said she couldn't care less, when she said she had feelings for me? It's as though she just said she had feelings for me still, when she didn't. And now she's saying she wouldn't care less if I got with someone else?
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I'm sorry about your break up. Maybe she was developing deeper feelings for you and just freaked out? But staying friends isn't wise. It's only going to torture you. If you still really feel you have a chance then don't let her go. But if she clearly has no interest then just enjoy being single for a whole before going into another relationship. You'll eventually have to stop having contact with her if you do decide to move on. I held onto an ex when I got a new boyfriend a year later, it caused more hassle.
Stay smiling
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Stay smiling
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Also what annoys me is she did it over text.
Just so annoying. She was properly into me as well. Like to the point where SHE asked me out originally. Now it's like she's not bothered by me, and get's angry when I bring it up as to her reasons for dumping me. Says she's annoyed at the situation, then said it probably would have been best if we'd stayed friends.
Proper killing me this. My feelings for her proper strong, and I thought hers for me were as well - she told me she loved me - but then the next day said she meant she only loved me like a friend. And it's like I dunno what to believe what she's said to me.
Just so annoying. She was properly into me as well. Like to the point where SHE asked me out originally. Now it's like she's not bothered by me, and get's angry when I bring it up as to her reasons for dumping me. Says she's annoyed at the situation, then said it probably would have been best if we'd stayed friends.
Proper killing me this. My feelings for her proper strong, and I thought hers for me were as well - she told me she loved me - but then the next day said she meant she only loved me like a friend. And it's like I dunno what to believe what she's said to me.
Original post by jonnykino
Also what annoys me is she did it over text.
Just so annoying. She was properly into me as well. Like to the point where SHE asked me out originally. Now it's like she's not bothered by me, and get's angry when I bring it up as to her reasons for dumping me. Says she's annoyed at the situation, then said it probably would have been best if we'd stayed friends.
Proper killing me this. My feelings for her proper strong, and I thought hers for me were as well - she told me she loved me - but then the next day said she meant she only loved me like a friend. And it's like I dunno what to believe what she's said to me.
Just so annoying. She was properly into me as well. Like to the point where SHE asked me out originally. Now it's like she's not bothered by me, and get's angry when I bring it up as to her reasons for dumping me. Says she's annoyed at the situation, then said it probably would have been best if we'd stayed friends.
Proper killing me this. My feelings for her proper strong, and I thought hers for me were as well - she told me she loved me - but then the next day said she meant she only loved me like a friend. And it's like I dunno what to believe what she's said to me.
"Best if we stayed friends" don't hate me mate, but girls never mean that, its just a nice way of saying to f off. She doest sound very nice at all. Give it time man, get on some other girls, there are so many more nicer girls.
She sounds like a ****
Bit pathetic that she dumped you by text, I would just cut her out completely.
We were supposed to meet tomorrow to talk it out that we've split up, but everything that was going to be said happened tonight over text.
I suggested we meet up like we were going to but just try it out as friends, she said no.
I dunno why am so cut up about this, I've never been like this about a girl before, especially one that's been treating me like crap since she said she wanted to end things. Her reasons for ending it? She was worried about other people not approving of us dating - as we're in a student union together, and I've had a couple of 'flings' with other girls in there. I said if her feelings for me were real she wouldn't end it, which is when she said there weren't there anymore, and said she wouldn't care if I got with someone else.
Dunno why I want her back, but I do. It's pathetic, but when things were good she genuinely made me happy, and I want that back. Would ignoring her and pushing her away work? Or not?
Or am I being stupid here and I should just cut all ties and be done with her?
I suggested we meet up like we were going to but just try it out as friends, she said no.
I dunno why am so cut up about this, I've never been like this about a girl before, especially one that's been treating me like crap since she said she wanted to end things. Her reasons for ending it? She was worried about other people not approving of us dating - as we're in a student union together, and I've had a couple of 'flings' with other girls in there. I said if her feelings for me were real she wouldn't end it, which is when she said there weren't there anymore, and said she wouldn't care if I got with someone else.
Dunno why I want her back, but I do. It's pathetic, but when things were good she genuinely made me happy, and I want that back. Would ignoring her and pushing her away work? Or not?
Or am I being stupid here and I should just cut all ties and be done with her?
Don't keep trying to contact her or find a logical reason for her decision. You wont find one and it'll play on your mind if you think too deeply about the situation.
You will hurt yourself more trying to repair what you once had at this point. I know it hurts man, but it's a part of life we all deal with at some point. Best of luck.
You will hurt yourself more trying to repair what you once had at this point. I know it hurts man, but it's a part of life we all deal with at some point. Best of luck.
how long were you together for?
Best advice right now OP is to do nothing.
Just stop contacting her. You need time to breathe on your own.
I know it hurts, but chasing her isnt going to bring her back. And when guys tell you this advice, most of it is from first hand experience.
Just stop contacting her. You need time to breathe on your own.
I know it hurts, but chasing her isnt going to bring her back. And when guys tell you this advice, most of it is from first hand experience.
Buddy I feel your pain. It's horrible when they do this, particularly over text. Best thing to do is honestly to move on. Delete her number if you have to but don't talk to her. I'm afraid to say that she sounds like she has no interest in getting back together so why bother putting yourself through heartbreak and torture? It's very rare that the whole let's be friends crap is genuine. Only time it was true with me was when I mutually split up with my ex but I couldn't face talking to her and have ignored her since. Sounds heartless but I felt much better after a week.
Surround yourself with friends and family and do the stuff you enjoy. Take your mind off it as much as you can. You'll be fine
Surround yourself with friends and family and do the stuff you enjoy. Take your mind off it as much as you can. You'll be fine
Original post by jonnykino
Also what annoys me is she did it over text.
Just so annoying. She was properly into me as well. Like to the point where SHE asked me out originally. Now it's like she's not bothered by me, and get's angry when I bring it up as to her reasons for dumping me. Says she's annoyed at the situation, then said it probably would have been best if we'd stayed friends.
Proper killing me this. My feelings for her proper strong, and I thought hers for me were as well - she told me she loved me - but then the next day said she meant she only loved me like a friend. And it's like I dunno what to believe what she's said to me.
Just so annoying. She was properly into me as well. Like to the point where SHE asked me out originally. Now it's like she's not bothered by me, and get's angry when I bring it up as to her reasons for dumping me. Says she's annoyed at the situation, then said it probably would have been best if we'd stayed friends.
Proper killing me this. My feelings for her proper strong, and I thought hers for me were as well - she told me she loved me - but then the next day said she meant she only loved me like a friend. And it's like I dunno what to believe what she's said to me.
Been there. I know exactly how this will seem ludicrous but trust me it's not even worth thinking about it. Actually think about it, think about it until you can't anymore. Then one day you'll realise there's nothing left to think about and you'll feel great.
If your girlfriend had a change of mind that quickly and dumped you over text she really isn't worth getting hung up over in my mind. A girl with any integrity would sit your down face-to-face and have a proper conversation about where a relationship is going, how she feels and whether you reciprocate those feelings. She may be wonderful in many ways but to have so little integrity and to dump you over text is pretty low.
Try and keep ya chin up and find another girl lad.
Try and keep ya chin up and find another girl lad.
I'd move on. Plus dumping over text is just pathetic and cowardly. If you're going to dump somebody at least talk to them face to face.
I'm so sorry this has happened. It really hurts when someone you had feelings for suddenly seems not to care any more.
To answer your question, the reason you are finding it so hard is that your feelings were developing and getting stronger and all this came very out of the blue. The reason that (much to your bafflement) she seems to be able to switch it all off like a tap, is because she has probably been having a few doubts for a little while, so she has been able to distance herself, make the decision to end it, and then tell you. She is already part way through the grieving process (much closer to the acceptance stage) whereas you are right at the start of it.
Although people will say 'just move on', it really is like a grieving process. You are grieving for the strong feelings you had, for what might have been, and for the sudden change in your life and free time. The best advice will be just to give yourself time. You will be upset, that's natural. But even though this relationship hasn't gone the way you wanted, you have hopefully also learned some good things from it such as how to love and be close to someone and share your life with someone. Those things will be good for you to know down the line, even though they have come to such an abrupt end this time.
Sorry again.
To answer your question, the reason you are finding it so hard is that your feelings were developing and getting stronger and all this came very out of the blue. The reason that (much to your bafflement) she seems to be able to switch it all off like a tap, is because she has probably been having a few doubts for a little while, so she has been able to distance herself, make the decision to end it, and then tell you. She is already part way through the grieving process (much closer to the acceptance stage) whereas you are right at the start of it.
Although people will say 'just move on', it really is like a grieving process. You are grieving for the strong feelings you had, for what might have been, and for the sudden change in your life and free time. The best advice will be just to give yourself time. You will be upset, that's natural. But even though this relationship hasn't gone the way you wanted, you have hopefully also learned some good things from it such as how to love and be close to someone and share your life with someone. Those things will be good for you to know down the line, even though they have come to such an abrupt end this time.
Sorry again.
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