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How can I appear more empathetical?

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Original post by Anonymous
I have tested and I'm not anywhere on the AS. I have a score of 8 where you need 26 or so to be considered to have a mild form.


Your AQ Test Score is: 32

Although I have suspected for a while that this would be the case.

Your thread caught my attention because I am very similar.

It's caused me problems in the past as I come across as a cold, selfish prick when in reality I do like the person I'm talking to.

In the past, it's caused me problems when my baby died, grandfather died and best friends father died. I just came across as a guy who didn't give a **** but in reality I wasn't happy, whatsoever.


This sounds exactly like me.
(edited 11 years ago)
Watch a few sad films, study how characters react to death etc. and try to replicate what they do, it's a long shot but if it's just faking emotion that you're going for it could help you learn when and how to react to sad events.
Reply 22
Original post by Endo
That is a very bizarre post. I also find it worth noting you asked how to appear more empathetical, not how to be more empathetical. What do you want TSR to give you, acting classes? Illusory emotions are, on the surface, very easy. Social conventions dictate that you will rarely be probed further.

Past experiences to share, perhaps?

Original post by Wilfred Little
Your AQ Test Score is: 32

Although I have suspected for a while that this would be the case.

Your thread caught my attention because I am very similar.



This sounds exactly like me.

Have you been diagnosed? How do you deal with it?

Original post by justanotherposter
Watch a few sad films, study how characters react to death etc. and try to replicate what they do, it's a long shot but if it's just faking emotion that you're going for it could help you learn when and how to react to sad events.

Interesting method. Though may be a choir as sad, romantic films etc kind of bore me.
Reply 23
Original post by danny111
If he were a sociopath he would have no empathy but be able to fake it.


Which is why I said it's easy. If he's a sociopath he justs needs to learn how to fake it.
I haven't read all the responses here, but I'd like to voice my opinion - It doesn't sound like you're a sociopath or have aspergers at all. For one thing, I believe your first sentence
Not sure what's wrong with me, but I lack empathy
is wrong. You don't lack empathy. You even said so yourself. You just find it difficult to express it.

I have, in the past, had similar empathy 'display' problems. I don't have aspergers, and I think it's more of a symptom of environmental circumstances (won't go into that). If you want to appear more empathetic, it's really not that difficult. I fake it all the time. The trick is to think about what people expect you to do. If someone's crying, all you have to do is wrinkle your forehead and raise your eyebrows so its a sad expression. Then you just have to say things like "It's okay", or "I'm really sorry" in a genuine way (try and copy films/tv). People just want to see you visibly upset.

Don't beat yourself up about this. It doesn't matter what people think anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
If I saw a psychiatrist, wouldn't that cause problems with my job? Considering I work in care and all? I doubt my job would take kindly to, Mr. xx has been diagnosed as a psychopath..

To my surprise I have got a fair few traits when I searched wikipedia, though, I'm not promiscious, I don't use people for "parasitic lifestyle" and I haven't been in jail in my life.


That's a range of likely symptoms, not the hard and fast approach. Few diagnosis' in psychiatry are.

It doesn't need to interfere with your work, last I checked there was still doctor-patient confidentiality. It'd only become an issue your work needs to know if you were actually deemed dangerous and mentally unfit, which you don't appear to be?

Up to you chief, I just pointed you in a direction, your choice to follow or not. :smile:
I have pretty much the same thing, as does a friend of mine. You say you're good at reading emotions, in which case you can put them on to a certain extent, but I would advise you only do so to a muted extent. Tell people that you tend to internalize emotions and that you hate sympathy (which is actually true for me) and by and large they'll leave you to it and believe you are feeling something. Most importantly, don't tell people that you don't trust 100% that you don't really have emotion. And unless you're the joking type generally, don't do it in the form of a joke.

On a happier note, I guess, maybe one day you will feel some emotion. I went for many years without emotion but I do now have someone I genuinely care for and feel emotion with. Which means I can now just imagine that the situation happened to them in order to identify the correct reaction. So there is a way to move on.
Also, I wouldn't say psychopath, I'd say possibly high-functioning sociopath. And I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist unless you particularly want to get a diagnosis and treatment.
Reply 28
Original post by Anonymous
Also, I wouldn't say psychopath, I'd say possibly high-functioning sociopath. And I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist unless you particularly want to get a diagnosis and treatment.


Is there a difference between the two? I always heard they were the same when people were talking about it?
Reply 29
Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood
I haven't read all the responses here, but I'd like to voice my opinion - It doesn't sound like you're a sociopath or have aspergers at all. For one thing, I believe your first sentence is wrong. You don't lack empathy. You even said so yourself. You just find it difficult to express it.

I have, in the past, had similar empathy 'display' problems. I don't have aspergers, and I think it's more of a symptom of environmental circumstances (won't go into that). If you want to appear more empathetic, it's really not that difficult. I fake it all the time. The trick is to think about what people expect you to do. If someone's crying, all you have to do is wrinkle your forehead and raise your eyebrows so its a sad expression. Then you just have to say things like "It's okay", or "I'm really sorry" in a genuine way (try and copy films/tv). People just want to see you visibly upset.

Don't beat yourself up about this. It doesn't matter what people think anyway.

thanks, the forehead wrinkles and lifting eyebrows is interesting. Just saw the girl and sounded concerned and said I was worried for her. She seemed to blush and smile.

Original post by Studentus-anonymous
That's a range of likely symptoms, not the hard and fast approach. Few diagnosis' in psychiatry are.

It doesn't need to interfere with your work, last I checked there was still doctor-patient confidentiality. It'd only become an issue your work needs to know if you were actually deemed dangerous and mentally unfit, which you don't appear to be?

Up to you chief, I just pointed you in a direction, your choice to follow or not. :smile:


Ok thanks dude.
Op, dont worry. from the sounds of it you'll b in prison soon anyway. stop trying to convince us ur different when ur not. how can a human lack empathy and not care about it?
Reply 31
Original post by Jonnybravo
Op, dont worry. from the sounds of it you'll b in prison soon anyway. stop trying to convince us ur different when ur not. how can a human lack empathy and not care about it?


What?
Reply 32
Original post by Anonymous
What?


Just ignore him, OP.
Reply 33
Original post by Vian
Just ignore him, OP.


Tbh, I know there's something wrong with me but psychopathy/sociolpathy? Even if I was, it's not like I'm a bad person. I know right and wrong and
I understand if I **** with people then I'll be in for a lonely life.
Original post by Anonymous
Tbh, I know there's something wrong with me but psychopathy/sociolpathy? Even if I was, it's not like I'm a bad person. I know right and wrong and
I understand if I **** with people then I'll be in for a lonely life.

Ignore that guy, loads of people feel the way you do but it doesn't mean they can't live a good life, if you know the difference between right and wrong then even if it turns out you are a sociopath you probably won't commit any crimes because you know it to be wrong and you know actions have consequences as you said, you'll be fine.
Reply 35
trying to ''appear'' to have empathy, although short-term may help relations, it won't allow you to have good relationships, as you are not actually empathizing so on your part, it will always be lacking. Go and get some help instead of being an actor/ress for the rest of your life.
Original post by justanotherposter
Ignore that guy, loads of people feel the way you do but it doesn't mean they can't live a good life, if you know the difference between right and wrong then even if it turns out you are a sociopath you probably won't commit any crimes because you know it to be wrong and you know actions have consequences as you said, you'll be fine.


o really? he didnt even give a **** his baby died! you dont know sociopaths/narcists/psychopaths like i do. my big brother is one and he simply manipulates, uses, charms his family and friends as if theyre objects in his miserable life.

look the op is now manipulating u (and seemingly everyone) to get pity/attention and to think hes not that bad of a guy. didnt even realise that was possible on an internet forum.

im pretty sure hes capable of knowing he lacks empathy but the real question is why not do anything?
Has anyone in this thread bothered to take into account that Psychopathy or Sociopathy is not an actual diagnose used within psychiatry? Additional to that, diagnosing someone with -anything- without being educated, licensed and having observed the patient over an extended period of time is impossible and unethical.

There are literally hundreds of reason to why a person can experience little or no empathy, and not all of them are permanent.

To the owner of the thread: See a psychiatrist if you want to find out more about yourself. Your job is safe, anything said between you and your licensed psychiatrist is confidential. If you just want to -appear- more empathic I suggest you study how other people react to things, and then just practice your acting skills. And like you said - It's not likely that you'll turn into the next Ted Bundy.

... Unless you are a pathologically cold, respectless and manipulative person suffering from a serious inferiority complex stemming from a dysfunctional childhood and relationship to your family, and the suffering of a traumatic episode in which your ego was seriously damaged. Put simply of course. =)
Original post by Jonnybravo
o really? he didnt even give a **** his baby died! you dont know sociopaths/narcists/psychopaths like i do. my big brother is one and he simply manipulates, uses, charms his family and friends as if theyre objects in his miserable life.

look the op is now manipulating u (and seemingly everyone) to get pity/attention and to think hes not that bad of a guy. didnt even realise that was possible on an internet forum.

im pretty sure hes capable of knowing he lacks empathy but the real question is why not do anything?


Knowing one sociopath doesn't mean every sociopath (if that's what he even is) is immediately like your brother, it'd be like if I got cheated on by a girl and came to the conclusion that all girls cheat, and what exactly does OP gain from trying to get sympathy? He isn't going to find a soulmate from this, or get financial support, the only thing he gain from this is advice, which is what he came here looking for, I don't see what he has to gain from 'manipulating' us.
Edit: Also read the original post again, OP says the baby dying made him unhappy, however he was unable to express it so it looked like he didn't give a ****
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by justanotherposter
Knowing one sociopath doesn't mean every sociopath (if that's what he even is) is immediately like your brother, it'd be like if I got cheated on by a girl and came to the conclusion that all girls cheat, and what exactly does OP gain from trying to get sympathy? He isn't going to find a soulmate from this, or get financial support, the only thing he gain from this is advice, which is what he came here looking for, I don't see what he has to gain from 'manipulating' us.
Edit: Also read the original post again, OP says the baby dying made him unhappy, however he was unable to express it so it looked like he didn't give a ****


Just like you said, author did express that he feels something but that part of the problem seems to be expressing it.

This is one of the most significant traits found within the Schizoid Personality Disorder found both within the ICD-10 and the DSM. Though it should still be said having traits found within a personality disorder does not at all mean that you have a personality disorder. To be diagnosed with a PD you need a number of these traits to be the very definition of your character, e.g. a pathology that manifests not only in actions but in mental and social function.

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