Girl problems 0_o don't know what i've done wrong..

Link to thread i created about second date
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2210600&p=40734320




Sooo, i'm 20 and i'm quite shy around women.
Within the past year though i went out of my first 3 dates with this lovely lovely girl, however she saw me as a friend-i realised i made a few nervous mistakes, but oh well-it ended but we stayed in contact. We became seemingly veery good friends, talking almost every other night about everything you can imagine.
But before new year she and i decided to go out on another date, she had hinted strongly all night (talking about being 'bored', 'needing to open her eyes' ect ect).
Unfortunately the date went south, i tried to hold her hand at the end and she ended up telling me again she saw me just as a friend. Which is fine i suppose.., she put off for 2 weeks and ended up admitted recently she couldn't bring herself to tell me sooner.
However just within this day, we spoke for the first time since the date and i had to obviously get a few things off my mind, i asked her why she didn't tell me sooner.
Not mad, just confused and hurt.
Anyway she ended telling me there was someone else now, "kinda someone else". I didn't really know what to say, just hit me like that. I asked her if she had been on a date yet, she immediately said she was going offline. I sent her message about a minute wishing her all the best, and i was happy for her. (which i am, as i said i loved being friends with her FAR more than dating).
She removed me off her facebook friendlist this morning, i don't know why. Would anyone care to guess? i don't know if i'd done something horribly wrong.

Sorry to hear I don't think you did anything wrong. My best guess would be that she thinks you view her as more than just a friend and she doesn't want to give you ideas. As sorry as I am to say this it sounds like she was using you as a kind of "back-up", incase she didn't find anybody she was really into. I think she deleted you off of facebook hoping you would get the message that she doesn't want any contact with you (I mean, who deletes people off of facebook unless they have done something horrible to you, which you certainly didn't). Best thing is to just forget her and move on. This is just my interpretation, might be completely wrong. But I honestly don't think you did anything wrong at all.

=/ its not worth trying to contact her then? =/..

Kinda of a sucky situation, but thanks for the advice so far anyway =)



i've got a nightout soon so -heaven forbid- i might actually try and just get my mind off her and show myself there's other girls;which is a weird thought.

Sorry, but I don't think so

Sure, hope I could help.

I think a night out is a good idea. Just try and have fun. Rejections always suck, best thing is to try and have fun. I know the whole "there are other girls out there" seems clichéd, and isn't comforting especially since you don't want to just forget about people you care about. But by putting yourself out there you are considerably raising your chances of meeting someone you care about and who feels the same way as you Obviously don't feel like you need to force anything if you still have any remaining feelings for this girl. Give yourself as much time as you need but know that there are girls out there who will like you in that way

No, OP. Just no.

Let it go for now. You won't be doing yourself any favours messaging her.

Hey mate, in my view, there's two ways to look at this. One is what Julie said above about how she was probably keeping you as a back up etc. However, in my mind, this is how I see it:

She did like you as something more than a friend and from her behaviour, I'm guessing she still does. There isn't really "somebody else" and this is sort of just an excuse. Why do I say this? Firstly, she was originally happy to go on a date with you, and so, she must have thought that there's a possibility of something between you two. Second, after remaining friends for a while, she wants to give it another go and so having spent so much time talking to you, she still probably feels there could be something romantic.

The stuff about "opening her eyes" made me think that she's a bit fearful of actually committing to something serious with you. She perhaps realises at the back of her mind that you could definitely work, but for some reason, which I of course couldn't possibly know, she is not willing to go that extra step.

Given she knows that you like her, she most probably doesn't want to hurt you. The only way to throw you off and for you to lose interest in her is to convince you that there's someone else and the facebook thing may have taken it too far, but its still along the lines of "if I reduce my contact with him, I won't have to face up to my feelings for him."

Now, honestly speaking, this is what I think and what I might think if I was in your shoes. There are of course a few assumptions in the above argument but its quite plausible. If you go with my argument, there is something you can try in order to win her back, if you're still interested in her. Let me know if you want my thoughts on that!

Link to thread i created about second date
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2210600&p=40734320




Sooo, i'm 20 and i'm quite shy around women.
Within the past year though i went out of my first 3 dates with this lovely lovely girl, however she saw me as a friend-i realised i made a few nervous mistakes, but oh well-it ended but we stayed in contact. We became seemingly veery good friends, talking almost every other night about everything you can imagine.
But before new year she and i decided to go out on another date, she had hinted strongly all night (talking about being 'bored', 'needing to open her eyes' ect ect).
Unfortunately the date went south, i tried to hold her hand at the end and she ended up telling me again she saw me just as a friend. Which is fine i suppose.., she put off for 2 weeks and ended up admitted recently she couldn't bring herself to tell me sooner.
However just within this day, we spoke for the first time since the date and i had to obviously get a few things off my mind, i asked her why she didn't tell me sooner.
Not mad, just confused and hurt.
Anyway she ended telling me there was someone else now, "kinda someone else". I didn't really know what to say, just hit me like that. I asked her if she had been on a date yet, she immediately said she was going offline. I sent her message about a minute wishing her all the best, and i was happy for her. (which i am, as i said i loved being friends with her FAR more than dating).
She removed me off her facebook friendlist this morning, i don't know why. Would anyone care to guess? i don't know if i'd done something horribly wrong.

I am sorry to hear this happened to you because you genuinely seem like a good guy. As a woman I can assure you that you haven't done anything wrong at all.
It sounds to me like she was using you as someone to can talk to which is fine but she didn't have the guts to face you after her status changed because she didn't know how you'd react or maybe didn't even care. I'd advice you not to try to contact her again as her action was a bit harsh and drastic. Take care and if you need help just send me a PM!