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Would you ever go out with your dead ex gf's sister ?

I havent been out with no one for 2 years. I loved the last girl i was with. have just gotten over her and come into realisation shes gone. Now, i tried starting a new life and the only girl i find attracted by a million miles on this entire earth is here sister....
Its probably not based on her looks, but we can really relate to each other and stuff.
Would society find this acceptable ?
+ would her sister rather have me go out with her own sister rather than any other girl ?

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Reply 1
Not a good idea in my opinion, it seems disrespectful, I am sure you could find someone else. At the end of the day though its up to you
I actually don't see why not.
Reply 3
If my boyfriend dated my sister after I died I'd haunt the **** out of him.

But that's me, I don't know what your ex was like. I wouldn't advise it though.


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Reply 4
As long as you like her for who she is, and not because she remembers you of the girl you were once with, I really don't see any problem with this at all.
The sister is dead, so can't comment, and if she could comment would surely (cliche here) want you to be happy. So if you and sis no 2 are happy together, go for it.
Don't know tbh. You obviously have a tragedy in common, and those are known to bring people together, but is the relationship just a mourning/coping mechanism? Worth asking yourself.
Reply 6
Initial reaction was no, definitely not wrong.

Then I imagined going out with my boyfriend's brother if he died and aaaaaaargggmpghdnonoNONONONO it seems crazy wrong.

I dunno. I can't think of any moral reason why it would be wrong, so if it's what the two of you want, then go for it. But I wouldn't be surprised if she or your friends/family find the thought disturbing.
(edited 11 years ago)
No. Hits too close to home, IMO.
Reply 8
My Mother in Law married my Father in Law after her fiancé, his twin brother, died


We all still think this is odd even though we never met said dead twin
Then what happens if that sister dies too? You won't be popular in that family. They'll think you're the incarnation of Death.
I wouldn't judge anyone who did.. I guess you're just attracted to the traits that your ex gf's parents had, which they passed onto both of their daughters.. It's not as if you're trying to replace her shortly after with the next best thing to ease the pain. It's been 2 years and you've found yourself now naturally attracted to her. Maybe 'society' might not think it's right, but when you think about it, you're not gonna be telling everybody the story behind it. The only people who you'd eventually tell would be your friends and they could see that you care for each other and are happy, so I don't think they'd care.

No one can really put themselves in that situation and try to imagine it, it's the kinda thing that happens over time. You can't just say "I have a boyfriend but I wonder if I'd be able to go out with his brother", that doesn't really answer the question. If it would make you both happy, go for it and don't worry what people say. It's not exactly unethical.
Reply 11
Original post by RichyFrench
No one can really put themselves in that situation and try to imagine it, it's the kinda thing that happens over time. You can't just say "I have a boyfriend but I wonder if I'd be able to go out with his brother", that doesn't really answer the question. If it would make you both happy, go for it and don't worry what people say. It's not exactly unethical.


Hah. Assuming this was directed at me. Yeah, I know. I was more posing the question to see what the standard gut response from society would be, rather than how OP should or shouldn't feel, seeing as that's what he asked. I'm aware the situation is much more complex after you've actually been through it.
Personally I'd find it too hard seeing similarities between my deceased partner and his sibling.

That and the idea of dating his sibling is ewwy.
Original post by Misstery
Hah. Assuming this was directed at me. Yeah, I know. I was more posing the question to see what the standard gut response from society would be, rather than how OP should or shouldn't feel, seeing as that's what he asked. I'm aware the situation is much more complex after you've actually been through it.


Yeah was pretty much talking about what you said. I think if society was to make a judgement on it that'd be kinda shallow. There's nothing legally wrong with it, and morally I can't see how it'd be a problem. It's not ruining her memory or being disrespectful, that's the only way I could see it being an issue. I don't think anyone can really judge the OP if they've never understood how he feels.
Hmm tricky topic...to be honest I think it's the mutual loss that has brought you closer together (which can either be a good or bad thing :s-smilie:)

You have to be honest with yourself and your feelings though. Are they only based on your mutual loss? Sure you can relate to her but at the end of the day every time you look at her will you be reminded of that loss? That's quite an emotionally painful thing to go through...

IMO I think your attraction towards her is in fact based on your memories of her sister and your ex (regardless of her looks or personality) as you probably see her as the only link you have left to your ex gf
Reply 15
Original post by RichyFrench
Yeah was pretty much talking about what you said. I think if society was to make a judgement on it that'd be kinda shallow. There's nothing legally wrong with it, and morally I can't see how it'd be a problem. It's not ruining her memory or being disrespectful, that's the only way I could see it being an issue. I don't think anyone can really judge the OP if they've never understood how he feels.


Ahhhh, but society is shallow. He shouldn't be judged, but he will. That's the reality of it, unfortunately.
Original post by Katie_p
As long as you like her for who she is, and not because she remembers you of the girl you were once with, I really don't see any problem with this at all.


This this this this this!

This post misuses anon, Before posting anonymously, please read the H&R guidelines - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki...ips_Guidelines
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
I havent been out with no one for 2 years. I loved the last girl i was with. have just gotten over her and come into realisation shes gone. Now, i tried starting a new life and the only girl i find attracted by a million miles on this entire earth is here sister....
Its probably not based on her looks, but we can really relate to each other and stuff.
Would society find this acceptable ?
+ would her sister rather have me go out with her own sister rather than any other girl ?


I think it seems quite disrespectful. Also how could you share your memories of her, when you used to bang her and are now banging her sister? Would it not make her sister feel uncomfortable when you missed her or got upset?

I think if it was genuine then with a lot of time people would come around to the idea, but I would steer clear if I were you.
Original post by abc:)
I think it seems quite disrespectful. Also how could you share your memories of her, when you used to bang her and are now banging her sister? Would it not make her sister feel uncomfortable when you missed her or got upset?

I think if it was genuine then with a lot of time people would come around to the idea, but I would steer clear if I were you.


Also lots of guys fancy their girlfriend's sister or even sisters. Maybe people will begin to think that the OP "allowed" the death to happen - in order to get with the sister.

Some people will do anything for sex.
Original post by Misstery
Ahhhh, but society is shallow. He shouldn't be judged, but he will. That's the reality of it, unfortunately.


That's why I generally hate people :/ It seems no one uses their ability to think anymore. If it's unusual or uncommon people don't seem to accept it or give it the time of day.

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