I have no friends at uni and are feeling left out.
Okay so I have never had any real friends since year 9 of school. I have social anxiety and go bright red when I talk to anyone so I never engage with people unless I have to as I don't like getting embarrassed. I also don't show my true emotions or act playful or tell jokes etc. as I am scared they won't work out.
In freshers I made some aquantainces but not as many as everyone else. I also never talk to girls unless i have to as I think they will think I am hitting on them and I think I am ugly anyways and never had a girlfriends so I just don't bother.
I made good friends with this one person however he is friends with people I didn't really connect with and they are sharing a house next year. I therefore have to reapply for halls as I have no-one to share a house with.
I have joined clubs and made acquaintances but thats it. However I don't even have many acquaintances on my course as I haven't really tried. The thing is, because I haven't had a real friend for the past like 5 years I don't try as I honestly don't think anybody would want to be my friend.
My flatmates bum each other. Not literally. On facebook they will always comment and like everything and tell each other how much they love each other or post on their walls and stuff. I have no one posting or talking to me on facebook.
I don't know what to do. I can't even be bothered saying more than hi to them when I see them as I just feel I have no chance. I am also nervous of parties and social activities so avoid them. Basically social anxiety has ruined my life so far. What should I do, and has anyone been in this situaton before and what advice can they give.
In freshers I made some aquantainces but not as many as everyone else. I also never talk to girls unless i have to as I think they will think I am hitting on them and I think I am ugly anyways and never had a girlfriends so I just don't bother.
I made good friends with this one person however he is friends with people I didn't really connect with and they are sharing a house next year. I therefore have to reapply for halls as I have no-one to share a house with.
I have joined clubs and made acquaintances but thats it. However I don't even have many acquaintances on my course as I haven't really tried. The thing is, because I haven't had a real friend for the past like 5 years I don't try as I honestly don't think anybody would want to be my friend.
My flatmates bum each other. Not literally. On facebook they will always comment and like everything and tell each other how much they love each other or post on their walls and stuff. I have no one posting or talking to me on facebook.
I don't know what to do. I can't even be bothered saying more than hi to them when I see them as I just feel I have no chance. I am also nervous of parties and social activities so avoid them. Basically social anxiety has ruined my life so far. What should I do, and has anyone been in this situaton before and what advice can they give.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so I have never had any real friends since year 9 of school. I have social anxiety and go bright red when I talk to anyone so I never engage with people unless I have to as I don't like getting embarrassed. I also don't show my true emotions or act playful or tell jokes etc. as I am scared they won't work out.
In freshers I made some aquantainces but not as many as everyone else. I also never talk to girls unless i have to as I think they will think I am hitting on them and I think I am ugly anyways and never had a girlfriends so I just don't bother.
I made good friends with this one person however he is friends with people I didn't really connect with and they are sharing a house next year. I therefore have to reapply for halls as I have no-one to share a house with.
I have joined clubs and made acquaintances but thats it. However I don't even have many acquaintances on my course as I haven't really tried. The thing is, because I haven't had a real friend for the past like 5 years I don't try as I honestly don't think anybody would want to be my friend.
My flatmates bum each other. Not literally. On facebook they will always comment and like everything and tell each other how much they love each other or post on their walls and stuff. I have no one posting or talking to me on facebook.
I don't know what to do. I can't even be bothered saying more than hi to them when I see them as I just feel I have no chance. I am also nervous of parties and social activities so avoid them. Basically social anxiety has ruined my life so far. What should I do, and has anyone been in this situaton before and what advice can they give.
In freshers I made some aquantainces but not as many as everyone else. I also never talk to girls unless i have to as I think they will think I am hitting on them and I think I am ugly anyways and never had a girlfriends so I just don't bother.
I made good friends with this one person however he is friends with people I didn't really connect with and they are sharing a house next year. I therefore have to reapply for halls as I have no-one to share a house with.
I have joined clubs and made acquaintances but thats it. However I don't even have many acquaintances on my course as I haven't really tried. The thing is, because I haven't had a real friend for the past like 5 years I don't try as I honestly don't think anybody would want to be my friend.
My flatmates bum each other. Not literally. On facebook they will always comment and like everything and tell each other how much they love each other or post on their walls and stuff. I have no one posting or talking to me on facebook.
I don't know what to do. I can't even be bothered saying more than hi to them when I see them as I just feel I have no chance. I am also nervous of parties and social activities so avoid them. Basically social anxiety has ruined my life so far. What should I do, and has anyone been in this situaton before and what advice can they give.
Same here
I know one guy who was exactly like you actually even worse he used to panic when in large crowds.
This all changed the day his bike collided with a mini cooper and he was in hospital for nearly a week, he finally realised life was too short to worry about what people think of you or the 'what ifs' scenarios. Now he's one of the most talkative guys out there, got himself a girlfriend because he stopped caring about what girls thought of him an started saying things that were on his mind instead of hiding them and genuinely expressing himself more.
He told me " if i had died that day, i basically would have wasted 18 years being scared of living life itself" dont know if it make sense but i still understood what he meant.
Life too short mate stop worrying and do what you like. Even hit on them girls you was on about, so what they not gonna kill for trying some might even like you back.
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This all changed the day his bike collided with a mini cooper and he was in hospital for nearly a week, he finally realised life was too short to worry about what people think of you or the 'what ifs' scenarios. Now he's one of the most talkative guys out there, got himself a girlfriend because he stopped caring about what girls thought of him an started saying things that were on his mind instead of hiding them and genuinely expressing himself more.
He told me " if i had died that day, i basically would have wasted 18 years being scared of living life itself" dont know if it make sense but i still understood what he meant.
Life too short mate stop worrying and do what you like. Even hit on them girls you was on about, so what they not gonna kill for trying some might even like you back.
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I'm in a kinda similar boat to what you are. When I was at school I suffered from depression and social anxiety disorder. Every at school made fun of me as I was "acting weird" and they didn't know why. Anyway - I was on anti-depressants and beta-blockers and also had some cognitive behavior therapy. Which worked to some extent. At the end of my time at school I told someone what was wrong with me and word got around - and everyone treated me like a person, something that hadn't happened in years. Anyway, I left school with no friends (alot of people from school still pal around together - but not me haha!)
Anyway... I went off to uni last year (2011) and thought it was going to be a new start for me. However, I ended up with the most anti-social flatmates known to man and the people on my course (yeh, we talk and stuff but that's about it) I'm now in my 2nd year and I've slipped back into old habits.
Anyway... I went off to uni last year (2011) and thought it was going to be a new start for me. However, I ended up with the most anti-social flatmates known to man and the people on my course (yeh, we talk and stuff but that's about it) I'm now in my 2nd year and I've slipped back into old habits.
Same here :/ I thought it would all change once i started uni but i guess not..
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Anyway... I went off to uni last year (2011) and thought it was going to be a new start for me. However, I ended up with the most anti-social flatmates known to man and the people on my course (yeh, we talk and stuff but that's about it) I'm now in my 2nd year and I've slipped back into old habits.
Sounds exactly like me
I thought I made good 'friends' but realised they only use me when they need help
You just have to learn to be your own best friend...
there are two ways to solve this.
1. Throw yourself in the deep end and start talking to people every opportunity.
2. Take small steps and say talk to one stranger a day.
Nothing will change though if you don't make an effort.
1. Throw yourself in the deep end and start talking to people every opportunity.
2. Take small steps and say talk to one stranger a day.
Nothing will change though if you don't make an effort.
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