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First time I have seen boyfriend in 5 months, don't know if I still love him?

My boyfriend was deployed to Afghanistan 5 months ago and has recently returned. When he left, I felt like my world was ending and that I couldn't live without him. Whilst he was away, I wrote to him every day and spoke to him whenever he could. We talked about the future, about moving in together when he got back, about getting married... Etc. I missed him so much every day sometimes I felt like I couldn't cope, especially seeing things on the news and hearing such terrible things, I had to hope and pray for his safety every day. I missed him so much it hurt.

Last week the day finally came and he returned home safely to me. I am so relieved that he is safe and sound and unscathed, but there is now a problem. I can't stand being with him anymore. It felt so lovely and relaxed having him back, but I had gotten so used to him being away and coping by myself that I am struggling having him back with me. He has been living out of my pocket for the last few days and I just can't bear to be around him anymore. I hate him sleeping in my bed because he keeps hugging me in the night and waking me up, I hate eating with him because he makes me eat unhealthily, I find it exhausting having to entertain him all the time and I am not really bothered bout sex either. Tonight I had to make up an excuse not to be with him to which he almost cried in response, but I needed time alone. Is this normal or have I fallen out of love with him? I realise it will take time to readjust but this is such a strange feeling I don't know whether it is normal and will pass or that we have really grown apart. Help!
I think that sounds pretty normal. It must be very hard to adjust to, especially as it's always pretty sudden when someone comes back like that. My advice would be to not do anything rash, and allow this feeling to die down - which I'm really sure it will.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend was deployed to Afghanistan 5 months ago and has recently returned. When he left, I felt like my world was ending and that I couldn't live without him. Whilst he was away, I wrote to him every day and spoke to him whenever he could. We talked about the future, about moving in together when he got back, about getting married... Etc. I missed him so much every day sometimes I felt like I couldn't cope, especially seeing things on the news and hearing such terrible things, I had to hope and pray for his safety every day. I missed him so much it hurt.

Last week the day finally came and he returned home safely to me. I am so relieved that he is safe and sound and unscathed, but there is now a problem. I can't stand being with him anymore. It felt so lovely and relaxed having him back, but I had gotten so used to him being away and coping by myself that I am struggling having him back with me. He has been living out of my pocket for the last few days and I just can't bear to be around him anymore. I hate him sleeping in my bed because he keeps hugging me in the night and waking me up, I hate eating with him because he makes me eat unhealthily, I find it exhausting having to entertain him all the time and I am not really bothered bout sex either. Tonight I had to make up an excuse not to be with him to which he almost cried in response, but I needed time alone. Is this normal or have I fallen out of love with him? I realise it will take time to readjust but this is such a strange feeling I don't know whether it is normal and will pass or that we have really grown apart. Help!


Oh no :frown: My boyfriend is away for 14 weeks at the moment - Half way on Wednesday - and I am really worried this sort of thing may happen. In my last relationship I was away for ten weeks with literally zero contact however, and we lasted, things were a bit weird when I got back but it passed after a couple of weeks. I would give it time, maybe talk to him about how you are finding it difficult not having your own space? I think not spending all your time together might help.
You've just spent the last 5 months coping on your own, functioning by yourself and adapting to your situation - you're used to having your own space

Don't panic and don't worry about it! It's quite a sudden change in your lifestyle, just take it easy :smile: you haven't grown apart, it's just that you've probably made him into something slightly different in your head when you haven't seen him - if that makes sense... you've probably imagined and wished for him being back with you for so long that you're expecting the earth, heaven, moon and stars now when he's just one man who burps and farts :tongue: But he isn't just some bloke, he's your boyfriend. Just relax and see how things are going in a couple weeks :smile: And don't be afraid to make time for just yourself, he might not totally get it but I'm sure he'll live!

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