Going to uni because of my girlfriend..?
So this is a summed up version of my situation;
I've applied to a bunch of Universities, though I've had unconditional offers from the two that matter. These are Exeter and Dundee.
The only reason I applied to Dundee is because my girlfriend of 3 years is there, I'm in Manchester and train tickets aren't easily acquired due to financial circumstances. When I say it's the only reason, I mean it, if we weren't together I wouldn't have even applied there. No offense to any Scottish / people from Dundee / people studying at Dundee, but it seems like a bit of a **** hole to be honest.
Then there's Exeter, nice warm sunny prestigious old Exeter. The problem is I virtually couldn't get any further away from Dundee, so it'd put even more of a strain on the relationship.
That's my dilemma. Do I go to a Uni that I'll probably dislike for the girl I love, or do I go to Exeter and pretty much end the relationship..? If I go to Exeter and we break up, I'll probably be gutted, but if I go to Dundee and we break up, I'll still be gutted but I'll be stuck in Dundee. Obviously I imagine if I go to Dundee we'll have a much better chance of staying together.
Would love your opinions, thanks for reading!
I've applied to a bunch of Universities, though I've had unconditional offers from the two that matter. These are Exeter and Dundee.
The only reason I applied to Dundee is because my girlfriend of 3 years is there, I'm in Manchester and train tickets aren't easily acquired due to financial circumstances. When I say it's the only reason, I mean it, if we weren't together I wouldn't have even applied there. No offense to any Scottish / people from Dundee / people studying at Dundee, but it seems like a bit of a **** hole to be honest.
Then there's Exeter, nice warm sunny prestigious old Exeter. The problem is I virtually couldn't get any further away from Dundee, so it'd put even more of a strain on the relationship.
That's my dilemma. Do I go to a Uni that I'll probably dislike for the girl I love, or do I go to Exeter and pretty much end the relationship..? If I go to Exeter and we break up, I'll probably be gutted, but if I go to Dundee and we break up, I'll still be gutted but I'll be stuck in Dundee. Obviously I imagine if I go to Dundee we'll have a much better chance of staying together.
Would love your opinions, thanks for reading!
First of all, I'm at Exeter and I know I'm biased, but I think it's a fantastic university and a beautiful city.
I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend; not quite as far as Dundee, but still a good few hours' travelling. It's not fun missing one's boy/girlfriend; it hurts every time I have to say goodbye after visiting mine and if I could have him here with me, I would in a heartbeat.
Despite all this, I would never, never, never have chosen a university to be closer to my boyfriend. Our relationship is mature and strong and I have every intention of living with him once I've graduated, but university is something for you. It's your education and your experience and I don't think it's worth risking that for the sake of a relationship which may not last.
If it's a relationship worth keeping then it will outlast your time at university. It's possible to make a long distance relationship if both parties are committed, but choosing the wrong university for the wrong reasons is not something you can change.
I hope this helps Good luck.
I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend; not quite as far as Dundee, but still a good few hours' travelling. It's not fun missing one's boy/girlfriend; it hurts every time I have to say goodbye after visiting mine and if I could have him here with me, I would in a heartbeat.
Despite all this, I would never, never, never have chosen a university to be closer to my boyfriend. Our relationship is mature and strong and I have every intention of living with him once I've graduated, but university is something for you. It's your education and your experience and I don't think it's worth risking that for the sake of a relationship which may not last.
If it's a relationship worth keeping then it will outlast your time at university. It's possible to make a long distance relationship if both parties are committed, but choosing the wrong university for the wrong reasons is not something you can change.
I hope this helps
Good luck.
Thing with applying for Uni, you have to go for the one that suits you best, not just because your girlfriend is there.
Yeah. That's pretty much what my friends have been telling me.
They also brought up that she did the same thing. She could've gone to Uni in Manchester or somewhere closer than Dundee, but she wanted to go to Dundee. I really don't mind, because she's enjoying it and all. It just feels like I'll be the one shooting the relationship in the head by going to Exeter.. as much as I feel it's the right thing to do, it's still very, very hard..
They also brought up that she did the same thing. She could've gone to Uni in Manchester or somewhere closer than Dundee, but she wanted to go to Dundee. I really don't mind, because she's enjoying it and all. It just feels like I'll be the one shooting the relationship in the head by going to Exeter.. as much as I feel it's the right thing to do, it's still very, very hard..
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah. That's pretty much what my friends have been telling me.
They also brought up that she did the same thing. She could've gone to Uni in Manchester or somewhere closer than Dundee, but she wanted to go to Dundee. I really don't mind, because she's enjoying it and all. It just feels like I'll be the one shooting the relationship in the head by going to Exeter.. as much as I feel it's the right thing to do, it's still very, very hard..
They also brought up that she did the same thing. She could've gone to Uni in Manchester or somewhere closer than Dundee, but she wanted to go to Dundee. I really don't mind, because she's enjoying it and all. It just feels like I'll be the one shooting the relationship in the head by going to Exeter.. as much as I feel it's the right thing to do, it's still very, very hard..
Nah mate, don't do it. If you were deciding between two broadly similar universities, you could compare stuff like relationship issues, but if there's one clear winner for you then there is one clear winner for you. University is a rather dramatic change of lifestyle and its very, very, very possible you guys will discover you aren't right for each other. (Besides, don't forget all the pressure you'll put on her, knowing you chose uni just to be on her!) It's going to make any break-up far more painful and messy. Whereas if you just accept now that you want different things in life and part ways amiably, the chances are you'll both find someone new you can be with without having to make any dramatic life choices!
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah. That's pretty much what my friends have been telling me.
They also brought up that she did the same thing. She could've gone to Uni in Manchester or somewhere closer than Dundee, but she wanted to go to Dundee. I really don't mind, because she's enjoying it and all. It just feels like I'll be the one shooting the relationship in the head by going to Exeter.. as much as I feel it's the right thing to do, it's still very, very hard..
They also brought up that she did the same thing. She could've gone to Uni in Manchester or somewhere closer than Dundee, but she wanted to go to Dundee. I really don't mind, because she's enjoying it and all. It just feels like I'll be the one shooting the relationship in the head by going to Exeter.. as much as I feel it's the right thing to do, it's still very, very hard..
GO TO EXETER!!! I can't get much more clearer than this.
If you both are truly committed to the relationship to give LDR a go then it will work depending on how much you want it to. But in your case personally I would end it..for now. It's only 3 years. She went to chase her dreams; so should you.
I'd suggest reevaluating when you're both done but remaining friends.
Exeter.
You need to talk to her about it. Say you have really thought about it, and that you want to be with her, but you don't want to go to Dundee.
Go to Exeter.
Relationships can work long distance as long as you trust eachother. If she moans at you, then you can mention 'it was your choice to go to Dundee, and this is my choice to go to Exeter' don't say it spitefully. Just try and say it as a way of making her understand.
Promise that things will be fine between you and that you will be able to make the relationship work. Confidence from you will help her believe that it is possible
Posted from TSR Mobile
Go to Exeter.
Relationships can work long distance as long as you trust eachother. If she moans at you, then you can mention 'it was your choice to go to Dundee, and this is my choice to go to Exeter' don't say it spitefully. Just try and say it as a way of making her understand.
Promise that things will be fine between you and that you will be able to make the relationship work. Confidence from you will help her believe that it is possible
Posted from TSR Mobile
you bassicly answered your question there go to Exeter if it's ment to be love will find a way
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Go to Exeter.. if the relationship (for whatever reason) doesn't work out you dont want to look back and wish you'd made a different decision.. And I'm speaking from personal experience!
This post misused the anon function. Before posting anonymously, please read the H&R guidelines - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki...ips_Guidelines
This post misused the anon function. Before posting anonymously, please read the H&R guidelines - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki...ips_Guidelines
(edited 11 years ago)
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Advice about living with someone with a terminal illness and general life?
- Break in relationship
- I have no friends, lonely at the age of 20
- picking between royal holloway and queen mary
- I really want a girlfriend
- Relationship advice - breaking up before uni and expecting to just move on?
- My friend is telling me to break up with my boyfriend, it's messing with my head
- I think I’m still in love with my guy best friend, though we do not talk anymore
- Should i leave home for university? Im afraid i'll loose people
- Why would his new gf try to follow me on ig
- White/Asian Guy in interracial relationship w/ British Bengali Girl 21y/o
- Why do people insult my looks in my relationship?
- if i will only date a vegetarian/vegan will i be unlikely to find a gf
- does this make me a bad girlfriend?
- My girlfriend never gets jealous?
- Mum is annoyed because I've told her I'm not going to a party
- I feel so doomed right now.
- What culture shocks have you experienced studying in or visiting the UK?
- Dating cousin’s girlfriend’s brother
- what do i do? answer is probably obvious to everyone else but me
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
