are all girls the same?

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well she certainly does, and to be honest i'm fed up of everything. we broke up yesterday and i feel completely depressed. you might say i asked for it, i called it and she got upset. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do. i genuinely felt we couldn't be a couple cos we jus ddnt get on anymore and we both wanted differnt things in life. it didnt help either that she hated my family who im very close to.
im really sad for her, i only want her to be happy. i still really care for her but i dont think we could stay together anymore. i feel terrible and its all my fault :frown:

Reply 61

Jelkin

It's not your fault if things weren't working. Not that this will really make you feel better - hopefully it'll come to you in time. I think it sounds like you did the right thing, and in the end, if it wasn't meant to be, it was kinder to end it now rather than let it drag out and bring you both down in the future.

Best of luck for the future xx

Reply 62

pendragon

allymcb2

You should have learnt now what upsets her and how to avoid it, however ridiculous it may be to you.

That is utter crap. Some people are just never satisfied. My ex used to get upset about ridiculous things and get all passive-aggresive about it. I could be really nice, supportive and loving and she would make the biggest fuss over me not remembering something tiny. Once I took her to a nice Italian cafe in London - on me- after she had been moaning about being hungry for hours, then she refused to eat and claimed she wasnt hungry because I had forgotten what she had said she wanted us to eat 4 hours ago. She would only ever say something once, and if I couldnt remember it she would punish me for at least the whole day with passive-aggressive silent treatment crap. I was such a good boyfriend in many ways, and there are tons of normal girls who would have been happy for all the effort I put in to make her happy. But with some people it is all a big waste of time, because they are always going to be unsatisfied and critical.

You deserve to find someone who is loving and supportive and makes the best of things. You could be in paradise or on holiday at the most expensive beautiful beach resort in the world and you would not be happy with someone like that. While you could be in a crappy bed and breakfast in Blackpool and have an amazing time with someone who you really loved who was happy to be there with you. It doesnt matter where you are, what matters is who you are with. I would rather be in hell with someone who loved me and showed it, than be in heaven with a girl who was always depressed and complaining to me.

What I have just said is very general based on my experiences of a relationship which was not all bad, this thread just made me think of the worst bits of it. Anyway OP I dont know if your girl is anything like this, but the key question is does she make you happy, or do you spend all your time and energy on trying to make her happy without getting back much emotional fullfillment in return? If you are in the latter situation you should leave her. Life is too short for you not to be happy, you can find someone else who supports you.

The difficult question is that she has miscarried which would be terrible for anyone to go through, but from what you are saying this is not the cause of all her problems it has just made them worse. If it were just down to the miscarriage it would be cruel to leave her at this point, but you cannot make it your obligation to stay with her forever and try and please her just because of this tragedy; if she doesnt make you happy you need to find someone else who does. Some people may suffer from depression and attempt suicide, and similarly it seems harsh to leave them after that, but you cannot give up your life in a vain attempt to keep someone else happy especially when it seems unlikely that they ever will be happy.

The questions you need to ask yourself are: is this a bad patch or were you unhappy about the relationship before the miscarriage? Does she and is she going to make you happy in life? The answers should dictate whether you put a whole lot of work into this relationship or consider moving on.

edit - had not read the whole thread when I posted, silly of me, but perhaps OP will feel reassured that I was suggesting ending the relationship when he has already done so.

are all girls the same?

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