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Going on a date to win back ex

Me and my ex have been through a lot. Started going out, she fell in love for me. I for her, but I never told her. She split up with me. I still felt the same, wanted her back. She went on a date. I went into overdrive, told her how I felt, wrote her letters, sent her Facebook messages, texts, you name it to win her back. Was a bit of a pest. Nothing worked. Told her I was over her and was moving on. That same night we ended up doing stuff with each other. She told me she loved me, I told her, we said we were gonna try again but keep it quiet from friends, as we'd just split up. Couple of days later she said we need to stop it. It coincided with her brother being told he had a clot on his brain. Tried to be there for her, but nothing. Couple of days later we talked on Facebook. Things were okay, and she wanted to meet up with me last night before going out with friends. Didn't happen because her mate was with her, but a few of us go the pub. I buy her a drink, we're okay. She tells me the other night was a mistake and she regrets it. Said she'd talk to me afterwards, then when the time came she just walked home. I, being a bit drunk, stupidly said 'kiss me', whilst at the front of her house. She closes the door. We text for a bit, I try and work things out, told her I've been holding off a date in case there was a chance things could work with us. She told me to go on the date, she has feelings for me but it can't work. I've been clingy and 'scaring' her with my letters and stuff - even though the other night she said it what made her realise I loved her. She also said me being like this is making her feelings fade.

Today after clearing my head, sent her a message saying if we can be mates then okay, sorry about all what's happened, I don't regret the other night. Told her I was going on a date tonight and can we go for a drink - as friends - next week to see how that goes. She replied saying she knew about this date because of Twitter, she's sick of the essays and she hopes I have a nice date. I asked whether that means we're going to try as mates or what and she's ignoring me now.

I really want to try as mates. If there's feelings we both have but she won't acknowledge surely that's worth something? Could the date spark some jealousy or something?

Trying everything here to get her back. Know I shouldn't but I honestly love her and can't see myself being with another girl. Not while she feels the same.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

i think you are being too ambishious with what you want to happen, you nees to think of her too. she might need you to be the mature one with the suttle feelings.

WHY DONT YOU PROPOSE?

*CHIEF BRIDESMADE BTW*

Reply 2

AbsolutelyAlice

Think about why you want to go on this date. If you are going on this date in an effort to win back your ex, then don't go on this date. It is not right to use the person that you are going on a date with, it is unfair and they shouldn't be part of this attempt to win back your ex. Your ex sounds nice and given what you've said about what it was like between you 2, it clearly was not working out and your ex sees that. If you really want to win her back, sit down with her and tell her how you honestly feel, no tricks, just you straight up telling her. I don't think that you should go on this date if you are still not over your ex. :smile:

Reply 3

jonnykino

Original post by AbsolutelyAlice

Yeah but I've tried that. She knows how I feel, but she just says 'it won't work'. I know I've been an idiot in how I've acted, trying to get her back, but I don't know how to play it now. I guess am just going on the date to try and move on, but at the same time I want her back.

Honestly, is there ANYTHING I can do to win back my ex? She replied and said to try as mates. I wanna try that and get close to her again, but I dunno. Do I just pull back from her completely now we've said to try as mates? That way am not being 'clingy' like she said I was being? I dunno.

Advice would be great!!

Reply 4

AbsolutelyAlice

Are you sure you want to go on this date? People do stupid things on dates with new people when they still love their ex. I think you need to try it your ex's way for a bit, be friends and try to be ok with just being that for the time being. I know that will be hard but honestly, maybe she'll realise on her own that she wants you as something more. After all, you can't force her to realise, she either will or won't. It is the most unselfish thing you can do and it might work. It is going to be very hard and there is definitely a chance that it won't work out between you 2 but wouldn't you rather have her be in your life as a friend than not being in it at all? If you really love her, then respect her wishes and be the good guy. Though I have to admit, your situation sucks. Sorry, I know this advice is not what you want to hear.

Reply 5

jonnykino

So how do I play it now? I've apologised for all my outbursts and gestures trying to win her back. I've said I want to be mates, but if she wanted me away from her then I would leave her alone. I said if she fancied meeting up for a drink next week to try it as mates, then we can, she didn't reply. But she text me back saying yes, let's try mates, nothing else. What do I do now? I don't want to be texting her because she might think am trying to get with her again. Should I leave it for a couple of days - she's gone home for the weekend - or what? Let her contact me and work it from there?

Reply 6

AbsolutelyAlice

Yes, let her contact you. Give her space so that she sees that you are trying it her way. If you want to hang out with her, invite her out with a few other mates so that the atmosphere is casual and she doesn't feel uncomfortable. Don't mention your relationship at all, talk about other things. Can't really tell you any more than that. I hope things work out :smile: