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Guys if a girl slept with you on the first date would you make her your girlfriend?

Im just wondering as guys always go on about how much they love 'sexually open' girls, girls who are comfortble to have one night stands or casual sex or are forward (or atleast this is the impression i have got from my boyfriend and his friends) they seem to like women who are forward who will initiate with them and sleep with them.

My boyfriend always jokes that im a bit frigid (he's my first and I cant ever see myself having a casual relationship) I made him wait nearly 5 months before I slept with him, I know some women leave it to the 4th/5th date but thats not what im talking about, Im talking about women who you go on a date with for the first time and that night they sleep with you.

My boyfriend said he'd had loved that he wouldnt have said no, and then a few weeks down the line actually said he wouldnt have made me his girlfriend as he would think I was easy.

Yet I have lots of friends who sleep on the first date and end up with boyfriends so im just wondering if it makes a different to the guys perception of the girl?

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Im just wondering as guys always go on about how much they love 'sexually open' girls, girls who are comfortble to have one night stands or casual sex or are forward (or atleast this is the impression i have got from my boyfriend and his friends) they seem to like women who are forward who will initiate with them and sleep with them.

My boyfriend always jokes that im a bit frigid (he's my first and I cant ever see myself having a casual relationship) I made him wait nearly 5 months before I slept with him, I know some women leave it to the 4th/5th date but thats not what im talking about, Im talking about women who you go on a date with for the first time and that night they sleep with you.

My boyfriend said he'd had loved that he wouldnt have said no, and then a few weeks down the line actually said he wouldnt have made me his girlfriend as he would think I was easy.

Yet I have lots of friends who sleep on the first date and end up with boyfriends so im just wondering if it makes a different to the guys perception of the girl?


first date would be a little fishy :tongue: if I was looking at a potential relationship, I'd expect to at least know the person a bit before doing anything, and I doubt you'd get very close after just one date :tongue:
Reply 2
No, I don't think it'd make me think any differently of them. This whole idea of a girls being 'easy' is a hang-up from believing women should have less sexual freedom than men. If she doesn't want to wait then that's fine - personally, I can see an upside to having a sexually liberal girlfriend.
Reply 3
Not wanting to cause shit by throwing the word out there, but surely it's a bit sexist to reject a girl for having sex with you on the first date, when you've done the exact same thing? As someone with liberal views on sexuality, it would never be a problem; it's a good thing as it shows we have similar views on sex. I hate it when girls delay sex just to try to gain leverage in the relationship. That's the type I'd want to stay away from, no offence, but five months? Unless you were young, that would just make me feel you weren't attracted to me or were trying to manipulate me.

I met my girlfriend on a ONS, neither of us thought it would go any further, but it did. A lot of my friends won't see ONS girls again though.
For a while my view has been that I wouldn't, but it seems hypocritical of me to say that when I'd have been having sex on the first date too. I wouldn't exclusively say it's a rule I make, because I'm sure it's possible for me to fall for someone that I slept with on the first date, but in the past that hasn't been my experience. Most times I've done so, it's killed any attraction. I initially thought I'd developed a lack of respect for the girl, for putting out so early, but I've realised that's not what I've felt. I have no problem with girls being liberated sexually, in fact I like to encourage it if at all possible. I think that when I don't enjoy sex because of the lack of emotion, that's what makes me feel bad, and I try to believe it's their fault for putting out that early, when that's not actually the problem.

I guess what I'm saying is, if there's a real connection there and you enjoy the sex for more than just the physical side of it, it's totally possible that I'd get in a relationship with a girl I sexed on the first date. If we don't connect at all, I just can't stay attracted and so a relationship is out of the question.
Obviously not a guy here, but I doubt it really makes much difference.

Of course, if you're sleeping with someone on the first date, you (by very definition) don't know them as well, so you're probably less likely to pursue a serious relationship than say, with someone you've known for months. But I don't think its really to do with being 'easy' it's just to do with the fact you're essentially strangers. If you sleep with someone after a few hours you're far more likely to discover they're not who you're looking for than someone you've been dating for months.

Also, like Richy above said, having emotionless sex straight away might make it more difficult to transition to having meaningful sex. :dontknow:
Reply 6
I wouldn't like it. But then again I wouldn't sleep with someone after a first date either.

Casual sex is great. Dating is great. Confusing the two is not.
Personally, the only thing it would really change is how quickly I decided we were sexually compatible.

I've had 2 reasonably long term girl friends, one of them I slept with on the second night we met up (note: we started DATING after this) and one where we slept together after about 2 months. The first relationship lasted longer, and it never even really entered my mind that she was 'easy' or a 'slag' or whatever other insults internet warriors want to say. It later turned out that I was actually her first, which I did think was a bit weird, but she basically explained it away as her knowing that I was the right guy, which I guess I kind of was since we were together for nearly a year.

Second girl we were together for about another 2 months after that. The relationship broke down for other reasons, but again, I was her first and although it was the same with the first girl, we didn't have that 'spark', if you get me. Personally, it wouldn't affect my opinion of them at all, and, like I've said, if anything (assuming I knew the girl at least somewhat well beforehand, i.e, mutual friends etc) it would probably lead to the development of a relationship sooner than if not.

We're young and care-free. Trying before you buy is important.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Im just wondering as guys always go on about how much they love 'sexually open' girls, girls who are comfortble to have one night stands or casual sex or are forward (or atleast this is the impression i have got from my boyfriend and his friends) they seem to like women who are forward who will initiate with them and sleep with them.

My boyfriend always jokes that im a bit frigid (he's my first and I cant ever see myself having a casual relationship) I made him wait nearly 5 months before I slept with him, I know some women leave it to the 4th/5th date but thats not what im talking about, Im talking about women who you go on a date with for the first time and that night they sleep with you.

My boyfriend said he'd had loved that he wouldnt have said no, and then a few weeks down the line actually said he wouldnt have made me his girlfriend as he would think I was easy.

Yet I have lots of friends who sleep on the first date and end up with boyfriends so im just wondering if it makes a different to the guys perception of the girl?


It would have a positive impact on my perception of her, as if I enjoyed it then it would indicate good things for the future, I don't have the double standard that its ok for me to sleep with her on the first date but its not ok for her. I wouldn't necessarily make her my girlfriend but I'd almost definitely try to ask her out again and if after a few dates we still get on I'd think about it, the same way with any girl sex or no sex
Reply 9
Sex early in the relationship is much better I think, because then you can find out early on if you are sexually compatible, which is definitely important down the line in a relationship. Personally sex is important to me, so if I met a girl and she was unwilling to have sex for a some time it would kill off attraction and I would start questioning if she is compatible with me. If she was willing on the first date it would probably only increase my interest, but it would also be conditional upon the vibe of the date and how well we clicked in other aspects.
If anything, a "sexually open" girl is a bit of a turn off to me. Maybe I'm a bit too conservative. :s-smilie:
I hate the word frigid. I dislike how people use it...

It shouldn't really matter, do what you like. If he doesn't like it then, he doesn't like it.

If you don't like being too fast, great. If he has a problem, then he can move on.

The guy is gunna care more about if you are comfortable.
If he doesn't.... pfft.

Edit: is everyone a fan of the word frigid? Sorry didn't mean to offend...
(edited 11 years ago)
No, well, not based on that alone.

If she did sleep with me on the first date, I would however make her breakfast and a brew in the morning.
It really depends on the guy, I suppose. Some are turned off by it and others have no problem starting a relationship after a ONS. In my case, the guy that I'm talking to now was a ONS but we remained friends after and are now trying to make things work. I think it's better because we know we're sexually compatible and we can talk about our emotions and etc.
Reply 14
I would. :sexface:
Original post by Darkphilosopher
If anything, a "sexually open" girl is a bit of a turn off to me. Maybe I'm a bit too conservative. :s-smilie:


You're not the only one buddy.
Original post by mikeyd85
If she did sleep with me on the first date, I would however make her breakfast and a brew in the morning.


Seconded, good man.
Reply 17
I think I would be pretty offended if:

- My boyfriend called me frigid

- My boyfriend said he wouldn't have wanted to go out with me if I'd slept with him too soon (!), without a reasonable/sensitive explanation (eg: some of those above), because that's plain hypocrisy and frankly I prefer to think he's with me because he's impressed by who I am.

Both seem to be pretty unfair and rude judgements of female sexual behaviour.
Reply 18
,.
(edited 11 years ago)
I always wait until I know the girl well enough and can see myself in a long term relationship before sleeping with her. I've only slept with one person, but I did want to spend the rest of my life with that person and probably marry them (or so I thought at the time). We waited a year to sleep together and I don't regret that decision, as I don't like the idea casual relationships, ONS's etc. (I can't just give away my body like that to someone I don't know, who I don't trust!). Anyway she is now my ex as we broke up.

If anything if I had a 'sexually open' girl as my girlfriend I'd probably get even more protective of her than I am with any other girlfriend because if she's willing to sleep with someone after the first date, what's to stop her doing it to someone else? I mean yes you have to trust her and everything, but can you really trust her enough after one date not to do that? To me, I can't trust someone that much after one date, it normally takes 6 months at least (and even then I don't trust them properly - but I have trust issues okay).

So to sum up, I wouldn't make her my girlfriend yet, I'd try to by doing the obvious things to do so (staying in contact if she wants to etc.) but it would take some more dates before I'd say she's my girlfriend.

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