The nice guy syndrome.

This topic should be changed to 'nobody likes negative people' then. If the guy is nice (though jut thinks he's average and doesn't refer to himself as nice), just gets on with his life, is positive, a gent, career driven and doesn't give a **** what people think of him then that's obviously good. Most Young Women on the club scene don't know what they want tbh. All they know is that they want the male with the highest status and some candy.

If a woman kept moaning about how many douchebags and *******s she's met, 'i've just got out of a relationship and i've been hurt blah blah....' then that would be a red flag for me, a sign to get outta there.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I have just encountered this type of guy. I like nice guys, I really do, but this guy put me off because as soon as I said in some form that I liked something, he would tell me in some way that he felt the same, even though if previously he said he hadn't. He literally changed because of what I said, which freaked me out.

Some examples: He told me he has a few beers occasionally, I told him I don't drink at all, couple of weeks later he said he doesn't drink either.

I told him I don't drink energy drinks, he then states he's stopped drinking red bull.

I told him I cook all my food and don't eat takeaways, he starts cooking food and tells me he stopped eating dominos.

I liked the snow at first, he liked the snow. He text me a text saying look outside it's snowing! I text back saying, its March I'm getting fed up of it, he text back saying he doesnt like it either.

You get my drift.

You mean *ugly guy syndrome.

Yeah. He whined that "nice guys finish last", claimed the girl he last dated was a horrible person and only used him for sex and was treated badly by every girl he ever dated and girls never gave him the chance: "its a shame because i really want to make someone feel special and happy". Acted very clingy and wanted to take me to meet his mum for our second date. However the second date never happend because he suddenly went off me when he discovered Id only slept with one person at the time . Months of drama was caused for me after as he allowed some chavette to get involved when there wasnt any need for it, long story. Looking back there was several obvious red flags but as Id been out of the dating game for a few years I didnt pick up on them. Avoid refering to yourself as a "nice guy" (as a rule of thumb if someone calls themselves something chances are theyre usually the opposite, eg. people who call themselves classy are usually quite chavvy, same rule applies to people who refer to themselves nice) and complaining about your exes, although you probably know about the last part.

Posted from TSR Mobile

So, what if you're a nice guy, who is not afraid to make his intentions clear, is seen as attractive by other girls, and can hold a conversation?

Whats the club scene got to do with my post? I take it the OP was refering to self proclaimed "nice guys" not geninuely nice, decent men.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Then you're a winner. I'm exactly like this, and I don't struggle to attract the opposite sex either.

Though if you're trying to succeed with a girl who has had 'bad guys' her entire life, you might struggle a bit. She could think. "Woah a nice guy.. hmm but is he really nice.. or is he just trying to get with the first girl that shows minute interest in him?"

Or sometimes it goes even further than this - some girls have such a low level of esteem that they don't believe they deserve someone who won't misuse them or hurt them etc. tbh it depends on the girl, but I wouldn't stop being a great guy just because some people don't like it or rather, let's be honest - aren't used to meeting great men.

That's bull****.

What about guys who are genuinely like that?


Posted from TSR Mobile

Most "nice guys" are only masquerading as such as a ploy to gain sexual access.

Nice guys are the best, think about it, he'll probably buy a prius and look after your kids.

Proof?

Guys Putting across that argument usually only care about people other to themselves and a just as bad as the so called 'nice guys'. People who highlight only negative qualities are people who you shouldn't have in life btw. There are positive qualities to your 'nice guy'. There are positive qualities to '*******s' too.


The term 'nice guy' is a misleading label anyway. Can't we call them something else if that's your term? The 'fakers?'

Not quite sure what you're talking about. But in regards to calling nice guys "fakers", then I'm pretty sure they're already seen as such. Many see them as manipulative and it's small wonder why women think so little of them.

And there's also a difference, imo, between "nice guy" and "good guy".

I am a girl and I absolutely HATE "nice guys".

Just to clarify, I love guys who are genuinely nice people. In fact, I won't date anyone who is not a genuinely nice person. But there's a difference between that and "nice guys" as the term is used nowadays. One is an actual personality trait, the other is an act.

"Nice guys" are always the ones who'll do the most for you first. The sort you've been dancing with at a nightclub for five minutes who've already told you how beautiful you are, offered to buy you ten drinks, ignored their friends to talk to you, and done everything short of hand you their wallet. So where's the catch in that?

The problem is that they only want one thing. Anything less and they'll sulk and treat you like you're a horrible human being for not sleeping with them. For a "nice guy," there's no such thing as taking it slow. There's not much dating before the why-aren't-you-****ing-me ultimatum comes, and certainly no period of friendship during which you get to see if you actually like each other as people because that could lead to the dreaded "friendzone" (aka getting along perfectly well with each other and possibly even having a great friendship... but oh wait! They don't get to sleep with you.) Why on earth would they want to find out more about your personality when they only want sex?... Or maybe it's just that they don't want you to find out too much about theirs.

At various points over the last few years I've had to block numbers, make up ridiculous excuses, be the first one of my friends to go home early on a night out, and jump through various hoops in order to deal with these losers. I once had a guy whom I was kind of interested in, but whom I said I didn't want to jump into something with as my previous boyfriend cheated on me, tell me that it was fine, he wouldn't cheat on me because "he didn't know any girls prettier than me." That sums up their attitude in a nutshell really. Women are like beautiful slot machines to them - slot machines whom you can pour as little as a few drinks and silly compliments into sometimes and get sex out of. And if that doesn't work, well, that's the stupid slot machine's fault - how dare it think for itself!

Guys - if you want to avoid being "nice guys" and actually be the kind of guys girls want without being a complete dick, have a life of your own and be self-confident enough that you're cool just being friends with someone if need be and don't demand sex in return for your time and effort. Even if you just want to sleep with someone, be honest about it, rather than stringing her along and pretending you like her as a person and want to be her boyfriend, when in reality you just find her hot. And, girls, don't settle for these kinds of guys if you want a proper, healthy relationship - you deserve more than that.

Nice guys always end up last, especially with women.

Women will only settle with the nice guy [Notice settle, not casual relationships] if the cock carousel has dried up and no other high status male even looks at her and she is way past her sexual prime. Then of course she will divorce him in a few years and take him for all he's worth.

My first step advice to 'nice guys' is to stop treating women like princesses and inflating their egos.

There is no nice-guy syndrome. Just boring-guy syndrome. Or no-chemistry syndrome.