Is this leading her on?

Am I a dick if I sleep with a female friend who has feelings for me but I only want to have sex?

We're going out with some mutual friends tomorrow and my plan was just to flirt with her and bring her back to my flat. At what point should I tell her I'm only after something casual? I don't want her to get the impression I'm looking for a relationship.

Reply 1

British199

I think you are a dick if you give the impression that your after a relationship just to sleep with her.

Reply 2

anonymouspie227

Original post by Anonymous

. I think it's not very nice to do that.

Tell her from the start that you don't like her/ don't want a relationship with her, and I would suggest not having sex, or trying to have sex with her. it may hurt her to know that you only want her for sex.

Likewise, the fact is, her feelings might not go away for you (after telling her). So, she may end up having sex with you in the hope that you will end up liking her, or treat her more special. This could be very awkward and bad for all parties involved, as you still won't return the feelings.

Anyway, don't do something that will ruin everything, and state your intentions and meanings before you do anything.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 3

sabian92

Turn it around and see how you'd feel. You'd feel used at the very least.

Don't sleep with her. Either be honest with her or go out with her. Don't do a "wham bam, thank you ma'am" on her.

Reply 4

polkadotdot

I think sleeping with her will probably make her more attached to you than now, so maybe it's not a brilliant idea. But it really depends on the girl I suppose. But yes, from the outset, if that was me I would be heartbroken.

Reply 5

Sazzle4

If you only want sex and she wants more then it is a very callous thing to do to seduce her. If sex is all you're looking for right now then find women who are also only looking for sex (they do exist) and spare this girl's feelings.

Reply 6

Journeyzap

If she likes you, don't sleep with her.
Regardless of what you say to her and "making intentions clear", having sex bonds you closer to the person and you will mess with your mind.

You will be behaving irresponsibly with someone else's feelings knowing that by sleeping with her you will probably increase her attachment to you. Find someone who is after the same as you.

Reply 7

BANS2012

Let her know before you go out together just to clarify what can ONLY be expected from your friendship/ relationship.

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 8

RB136444

If you are 100% sure she has feelings for you, then you need to tell her even before you get to your flat that you are only after the sex, because once she's at your place she'll already have her hopes up which will be completely unfair on her as you know how she feels.

And after reading what other people have posted, I have to agree, it's not even a maybe she will get more attached to you, she WILL. Though I can't tell you what to do, please do what you think will be right for this girl, rather than a night of fun that will be nothing compared to what it will be to her.