Do you think marriage makes a difference?

you actually believe that men aren't majorly disadvantaged in divorce/ custodial hearings? And being a stay at home dad? What women would ever aggree to that? She'd have to be on crack.

Posted from TSR Mobile

So you obviously can't follow my point at all

That isn't 95.1% of custody awarded to mother in court.

That's 95.1% of children living with their mother, most of which as a result of mutual agreement by both parents outside of court.

If you can't understand the difference there isn't much point in me engaging with you. Women hardly take the blame for "stealing the children" in the majority of cases where both parents agree that's for the best/ what they both want.

EDIT: Even a statistic of court-awarded custody would have to be compared to the proportion of cases in which the mother actually was the most suitable parent. Given that women are more likely to take leave from work, work part time, and fulfill childcare responsibilities at least >50% would not be unreasonable nor unexpected.

In court it's about...90% of the time the woman gets custody.

When you say agreement you mean: man being pressured into decision, and when you say mutual you mean: the mother's decision? Yeah you're right very much so.....

Wait, women work less hours than men? And what do you mean women take more childcare responsibility? Of course they would, considering that women are more likely to get custody of the kids

a) you've just made that up
b) and in what percentage has the woman taken most time off work and provided the most care for children, making the decision to award her custody the fair one?



So you think women can pressure men into unfair divorce agreements outside of court, more than men can? The truth is that nasty people of all genders can pressure unfair decisions outside of court, but I can see no reason to suppose that most/all of these people are women.

Again, it's something you have made up. We can argue anecdotes all we like, it's fairly pointless. You won't accept mine and I won't accept yours.




I mean before the divorce. Don't be intentionally dense.

This is hysterical, no man on the western side of the world would aggree that diviorce and custody cases should be biased towards women only a filthy chauvinist would say that, by this logic the pay gap between men and women don't matter as men have to pay women in divorce anyway. No it's not acceptable to say that split custody should not be awarded 95% of the time, split custod of children should be a default in divorce and custody agreements unless the man or woman was abusive or the woman and man aggree it's not for the best. I can't even believe that you can say divorces are fair on men and then say this. It's HYSTERICAL!!

I think you misunderstand me. I think some form of joint custody is desireable, but remember it is actually also the norm - the preference of the courts. There is no evidence that 95% of cases are settled with sole custody awarded to the mother. That, is an hysterical assumption.

You are confusing primary custody (children living with most of the time) with sole custody (other parent not entitled to any custody).

I'm not talking about custody being biased towards women, I'm talking about it being biased towards whomever, of whatever gender, has been the main provider of care for the children/ is the most suitable parent. That isn't sexist, even if it happens to be true of the mother more often than it is of the father. Please read my other post.

I do think men are disadvantaged in court decisions deciding custody. But i think it's important to look at the actual statistics/real life scenarios instead of gross exaggerations/misrepresentations and/or blaming a gender (creating a new stereotype) instead of blaming the stereotypes and expectations actually responsible for this inequality.

Clearly the situation for both men and women in terms of work, finances, children is unequal, and in some cases this general inequality results in injustice (toward both men and women) - men are more likely to take the fall with children, women are more likely to take the fall with careers. Would financially punishing/ignoring a woman who has made the sacrifices to raise children help men who deserve full custody though? No. Does villainising women help these men? No.

I hope that you see where I am coming from. It's no more fair to make a villain out of all/most women ("just get into marriage to walk away with everything like heartless bitches!") because of an inequality that men face (less likely to be taken seriously as parents by custody courts) than it is to villainise all/most men ("lecherous, cheating scumbags!") just because women face an inequality (acceptability of being groped/harassed/intimidated in the street). In actuality, attitudes prevalent amongst people of both male and female people are responsible for the inequality. By all means be a "masculinist" and defend men's rights, but it's no more okay to be a misogynistic masculinist than it is to be a misandric feminist.

EDIT: Incidentally, it's my aspiration to share parental responsibilities with my future (male) partner on a non-gendered basis. As it's likely I'll be the higher earner, it's not unrealistic/undesireable for him to be more likely to take time off for childcare etc, if that is what he chooses.

If Sweden can manage it why can't the UK?
No one should get primary or sole custody unless the child was adopted!! It's just stupid, all it causes is sexism, towards women in employment and towards men in divorce and custody hearings, who is it ohh so horrible for me to want to have as much part in my child's life as a woman does? All you would cause by doing this is justified pay gaps to women and justified biased divorce courts and custody courts. Is it really that horrific for a man to want to be a father? This is what causes sexism at the work place.
Posted from TSR Mobile

yes because I don't support anything that feminism even say! I aggree with a lot of it acually to shink the paygap you have to let men have more split custody of children, how is that hard to even understand? If the women had less parental responsibility, they would work more, how is it that difficult to comprehend?

I think I probably agree with you there. Under most circumstances I think it is probably more beneficial for a child to have close, living contact with both parents - even at the cost of consistency.

But you have to be realistic - there may be some cases where the child has a great relationship with one parent, who does all of the parenting, provides the stability, the support and always has - and a very distant relationship with the other. Should they actually have to spend more time with that parent after the divorce, at the cost of the disruption of moving house twice a week, than they did before it - particularly (as in majority of cases) if both parents agree that primary/sole custody is for the best? And I make that point regardless of the parents' genders.

I don't think our views are that different at all. In my ideal world there would also be no difference (aside the unavoidable biology of pregnancy) in how women are men are treated in childcare, I also idealise the swedish system.

yes because I don't support anything that feminism even say! I aggree with a lot of it acually
Posted from TSR Mobile

No I actually really agree with you about that. Equalise parents' responsibilities for childcare, equalise wages - better for everyone.

I just think it's a bit late for all these principles after somebody has already made years of career sacrifices for childcare - they deserve recognition of that regardless of their gender.

Really? I seem to recall a whole thread not too long ago in which you bashed pretty much everything to do with feminism, stating the UK has no need for it.

Not as much though as the wife would struggle to contest a will from father to son in a marriage rather than a father to bastard. In the past this made more sense if a guy accidentally knocked up some kid who turned up later in life demanding things, where as now peoples mentality is very different.

I only aggree with it on very certain topics. The ones on that thread? no way in hell. Only two times feminism is right, and that is when it comes down to the slut walk, about victims in clothing, and the pay gap and divorce/custody courts.

Posted from TSR Mobile

It makes a huge difference legally and emotionally as it forces couples to sort out problems they have or face consequences. Also as I said, legally it makes a huge difference eg. any child would have no legal ties to the father and would be a bastard. That's pretty bad