The Student Room Group

Help me in this situation please..

Okay i'll try make this short and to the point,

Basically about mid last year i stopped speaking to some girl who played me and ever since then i just never cared anymore and cut contact with her as she treated me bad. So at the time my 18th bday was approaching and i got an apple product (new generation ipod) anyway there was an app i used to play on (some drawin game) with friends and one day i met someone who i just constantly played with..we then started talking on chat and i found out it was an american girl so i asked her to add me on fb and we've been talking ever since. She's almost 17 and in high school i'll be 19 this year and i know this sounds stupid but we both started falling for each other especially after knowing each other for at least 10 months or more. She knows ill be going to university this september and she wanted to meet me in person so we could date however she said i would wait till she finish's her high school(in 2 years kinda equivalent of a-levels here) which i perfectly understood as i wouldn't want someone to stop their education just because they met somebody in their life.

Anyway with my university i have the chance to transfer abroad to many universities in america either for a year or 6 months but is it wise to do this? She's definitely a special girl and i would want to date her at some point as we have so much in common she makes me really happy. I know so much about her and she knows so much about me we've had a few fights over some things but it always makes the love stronger for some reason and i cant really explain how it feels but she's amazing :colondollar:

Should i take the chance and transfer to a uni there (just for the year) after 2 years of university here so i could be with the girl of my dreams? Or do you think this is a stupid idea? :redface:
Reply 1
People are not always what they seem online.
That is all.
Reply 2
Original post by shamemii
People are not always what they seem online.
That is all.


im aware of this but should i date her and try it out?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Okay i'll try make this short and to the point,

Basically about mid last year i stopped speaking to some girl who played me and ever since then i just never cared anymore and cut contact with her as she treated me bad. So at the time my 18th bday was approaching and i got an apple product (new generation ipod) anyway there was an app i used to play on (some drawin game) with friends and one day i met someone who i just constantly played with..we then started talking on chat and i found out it was an american girl so i asked her to add me on fb and we've been talking ever since. She's almost 17 and in high school i'll be 19 this year and i know this sounds stupid but we both started falling for each other especially after knowing each other for at least 10 months or more. She knows ill be going to university this september and she wanted to meet me in person so we could date however she said i would wait till she finish's her high school(in 2 years kinda equivalent of a-levels here) which i perfectly understood as i wouldn't want someone to stop their education just because they met somebody in their life.

Anyway with my university i have the chance to transfer abroad to many universities in america either for a year or 6 months but is it wise to do this? She's definitely a special girl and i would want to date her at some point as we have so much in common she makes me really happy. I know so much about her and she knows so much about me we've had a few fights over some things but it always makes the love stronger for some reason and i cant really explain how it feels but she's amazing :colondollar:

Should i take the chance and transfer to a uni there (just for the year) after 2 years of university here so i could be with the girl of my dreams? Or do you think this is a stupid idea? :redface:


Its a tough one. Well have you seen eachother on web cam becuase you've gotta be extra careful with people on-line as they may not be as they seem.

If your only going over as an exchange i cant see any harm in it. You'll get to meet her, a whole load of other people and experience America. Seems a win win all round really.
Reply 4
Original post by Macabre
Its a tough one. Well have you seen eachother on web cam becuase you've gotta be extra careful with people on-line as they may not be as they seem.

If your only going over as an exchange i cant see any harm in it. You'll get to meet her, a whole load of other people and experience America. Seems a win win all round really.


she's sent me pics of her recently and iv also sent her some she's pretty. And yeah it will be just as an exchange for the year and iv never been to america before either so should i do it?
Hmmm. Meeting in person is a whole lot different to talking over the internet.

I liken this situation to reading a great book you can't put down. Your imagination can conjure up every fairy tale with a happy ending and for you it's perfect.

Then you see the movie and it sucks because it's someone else' imagination you are looking at and the bits you found the most enjoyable in the book are not even in the movie.

Moral of the story: Seems you will be putting a lot of 'hope' on an infatuation and going abroad to study simply because in your imagination she is 'the girl of your dreams' will potentially cost you a whole load of grief if she turns out not to be. Of course the same goes for her - she may reject you because you are not what she imagined you would be.

So you would be left with being in a foreign country potentially heartbroken with no support network and it would have cost you a small fortune to boot.

Seems a very high risk strategy.

Far better to go on a summer vacation and see how it turns out before making a potentially life changing decision.
Reply 6
Original post by uberteknik
Hmmm. Meeting in person is a whole lot different to talking over the internet.

I liken this situation to reading a great book you can't put down. Your imagination can conjure up every fairy tale with a happy ending and for you it's perfect.

Then you see the movie and it sucks because it's someone else' imagination you are looking at and the bits you found the most enjoyable in the book are not even in the movie.

Moral of the story: Seems you will be putting a lot of 'hope' on an infatuation and going abroad to study simply because in your imagination she is 'the girl of your dreams' will potentially cost you a whole load of grief if she turns out not to be. Of course the same goes for her - she may reject you because you are not what she imagined you would be.

So you would be left with being in a foreign country potentially heartbroken with no support network and it would have cost you a small fortune to boot.

Seems a very high risk strategy.

Far better to go on a summer vacation and see how it turns out before making a potentially life changing decision.


if i do go its going on an exchange program for year or 6 months to study in america at one of the chosen institutions. I wanted to go abroad anyway as there's a number of different places i could go to and i think it would be a good experience...however since she said she wanted to meet and try it out this is where the problem came caz im not sure whether its worth it?
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
she's sent me pics of her recently and iv also sent her some she's pretty. And yeah it will be just as an exchange for the year and iv never been to america before either so should i do it?


No reason why not. If it doesnt effect your education and you can afford it bon voyage :smile:
Reply 8
Original post by Macabre
No reason why not. If it doesnt effect your education and you can afford it bon voyage :smile:


thanks brother :biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
if i do go its going on an exchange program for year or 6 months to study in america at one of the chosen institutions. I wanted to go abroad anyway as there's a number of different places i could go to and i think it would be a good experience...however since she said she wanted to meet and try it out this is where the problem came caz im not sure whether its worth it?


If you go abroad you have to do it because it's in your best interests, i.e. academic, career, character building thing and NOT a romantic whim.

That way you have something to fall back on if it does not work out with her (which experience says it is more than likely not to).

She is young and so are you and the chances are she has fallen for the 'romance' of the situation which is a heady mix.

Between now and then, she could so very easily meet someone else and ditch you - she is after all still only 16.

Choose your exchange program for the right reasons not the possibility of dating a schoolgirl.
Reply 10
Original post by uberteknik
If you go abroad you have to do it because it's in your best interests, i.e. academic, career, character building thing and NOT a romantic whim.

That way you have something to fall back on if it does not work out with her (which experience says it is more than likely not to).

She is young and so are you and the chances are she has fallen for the 'romance' of the situation which is a heady mix.

Between now and then, she could so very easily meet someone else and ditch you - she is after all still only 16.

Choose your exchange program for the right reasons not the possibility of dating a schoolgirl.


wise words sir, thank you :pierre:
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
im aware of this but should i date her and try it out?


Your willing to go all the way there to just 'try' it out?
I could 'try' thousands of things rather that would be more worth it but i don't.
unless you think it's worthy, then go for it.
Only if you think it'll last tho, but then again that's beyond your capability to know if it will. we cannie tel tell the futue :s
Your call

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