Is it possible to be asexual?

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I was serious, I have low self confidence. It would be nice to find yourself hot sometimes.

I'm being serious.

That's pretty cool anyway.

I know what it's like to have low self-confidence, but it gets easier. If you want advice I don't mind helping you!

Reply 41

Iron Lady

Original post by Tabzqt

lol.
shut the door + private browsing.

I'd feel bad.

Reply 42

Tiger Rag

I could have written what most of Iron Lady has said.

I've never really had that much interest in relationships. The last time was 18 months ago and we agreed it wouldn't work / it wasn't what either of us wanted. (it would have been an LDR, which he's done before and said it was difficult. I wasn't too keen either)

Reply 43

Tabzqt

Original post by Iron Lady

I'd feel bad.

why?

Reply 44

k9markiii

Original post by Iron Lady

Between 18-25.

No.

No.

I suffer from anxiety, occasionally have anxiety attacks, along with other personality disorders. But, I do not take medication/antidepressants. I feel down from time-to-time, but I wouldn't identify myself with depression.

I'm similar to this but haven't got any diagnosed things, partially because I've never asked.

Reply 45

Thomas2

Yes, in fact I read once about someone who set up a website to asexuals could meet other asexuals and have a relationship without the sex.

Reply 46

und3niable_

Apparently like 1-3% of the population is indeed asexual. That's around 7k+. But it's not 'common'.

Reply 47

jreid1994

Original post by Iron Lady

I don't like anyone as present. No to your second question.

Thanks for your help; I appreciate it, sorry that my answers are closed/one-word answers. I think it will become clearer as time goes on.

My anxiety can prevent well-meaning friendships too.

Why don't you try masturbating? As for anxiety you could always try a councillor.

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(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 48

Emrys141

Original post by Iron Lady

Your thoughts please, thank you.

Does anyone else identify themselves as asexual?

Of course it's possible. I think I am.

Reply 49

Emrys141

Original post by Crabbiey

I'm asexual and I can understand what you're saying, however in my opinion I don't think I'm missing out simply because I'm not interested. I'm also probably aromantic - meaning I have no interest in a romantic relationship, so I think a romantically-orientated asexual will 'miss out' on a lot less. I actually have no idea what it's like to even have a romantic bond. Which may sound sad, but I'm not bothered because I have no interest. So in my opinion I am not 'missing out', I am slightly curious as to what it is like to be in love, but I don't get depressed over it. Anyway it also means I don't feel like a failure at still being single.

You just described me :biggrin:

Reply 50

Arenas123

Original post by Occams Chainsaw

Sexual attration and sexual intimacy are very important in life, in my opinion. To think that people may have a disposition which means they will never experience such emotions is sad.

It also makes very good fun. Initial flirting around with a new crush where there is a common sexual attraction, for example.
I think that sexual intimacy probably gives a new dimention to the relationship that asexual people would not understand. I guess it's probably a trust in that other person.

I'm not trying to rub it in, OP. I am just trying to explain why I think the thought of asexual people is sad. I think they would miss out on a lot in life.

Wow this is silly.

First of all asexual is not necessarily aromantic, so some asexual people still have the falling in love feeling.

It's simply about perception. You can't imagine a life without sex the same way a guy at my uni can't imagine not going to watch a certain football team. He goes to every single game they have sometimes missing a few days of uni to travel. Once someone said to him, "you could just not go" and he looked at them like they'd asked him to strip for the queen. Just because you can't imagine your life without something doesn't make it essential to everybody. They don't have it because they don't want it, being sad for them is nothing more than condescending.

I have an asexual friend who is extremely pretty. She's definitely more cute than sexy but still she's really nice to look at. She's never had sex and never wants to. She's kissed a guy and describes it as "the most uncomfortable 30 seconds of her life". Her life is in no way "empty". She has something she does very well (intentionally vague to protect identity) and she is very passionate about it. She'll talk about it for hours if you let her. She's also really into Buddhism and spirituality etc. She's one of the happiest people I know and she won't spend her life alone contrary to what most people think.

OP I know asexuality exists and there is no reason for it. Saying it was caused by something like sexual abuse is like saying homosexuality is caused by that. Telling an asexual to just "try sex" is like telling a gay man to try a woman before he commits. If sex feels right at some point in your life then don't fight that either. There are a lot of great online communities for asexual people so you could try them.

Not that anyone will believe it after this essay but I am straight, not asexual.

Reply 51

Namige

Original post by und3niable_

Apparently like 1-3% of the population is indeed asexual. That's around 7k+. But it's not 'common'.

I think you mean 700k?

Reply 52

Iron Lady

Original post by Tabzqt

why?

Original post by jreid1994

Why don't you try masturbating? As for anxiety you could always try a councillor.

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I'm ok with other forms of spending my time.

I've tried counselling.

Reply 53

jreid1994

Original post by Iron Lady

I'm ok with other forms of spending my time.

I've tried counselling.

Fair enough, you probably are asexual :smile:

Did it help?
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Reply 54

Tabzqt

Original post by Iron Lady

I'm ok with other forms of spending my time.

How do you know if you haven't tried it?

well plants are.

I'd consider my self semi asexual at the moment, I do feel attraction toward the opposite sex, however I am in no way interested in a sexual relationship. And it is possible, I personally see nothing wrong with being completely asexual.

Reply 57

The Socktor

I'm pretty sure if you chose to it would be celibacy.

Reply 58

Iron Lady

Original post by jreid1994

Fair enough, you probably are asexual :smile:

Did it help?
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Initially, on and off now.

Original post by Tabzqt

How do you know if you haven't tried it?

I don't like the idea of it, I'm afraid.

Reply 59

Anonymous #1

I sincerely thought I might be asexual when I first found out about the concept. I had had a bf for about 7 months aged 19, whom I had sex with a few times and played around with more often than that. I have always found male bodies a little bit alien to me, and sometimes a bit repulsive especially in the genital area, but I didn't think I had a penchant for girls either (although I often find girls more aesthetically pleasing, I put that down to simply being more familiar with the sight). I think the main problem was that I didn't really emotionally connect with the bf, I was never 'in love' with him and although I didn't find him unattractive, he wasn't particularly attractive either. I guess I was a bit 'meh' about the whole relationship.

Anyways, eventually realised it was going nowhere, broke it off with him, went off to uni, and all through first year (supposedly when you're meant to be promiscuous and all) I had no romance whatsoever despite several nice/somewhat attractive guys showing interest. I just wasn't interested for some reason :/ Some of it was self-consciousness, but still... Anyways, I was all but certain I was asexual (I still pleasured myself, I just didn't see the need to involve anyone else :P ) until a young fresher came along in second year and was particularly persistant in chasing me on a night out. Although I tried to avoid him most of the night, eventually I thought I'd give it a go as he was VERY attractive even if I wasn't really into him.

Ended up going out with him for 2 months and having a mostly physical relationship with him. I discovered I wasn't asexual, I just had a low libido and very high standards xD Since breaking up with him, my body's gone back into hibernation and I feel asexual again. I think some people just need a big incentive to get their libido up. :P

One of the main things that was worrying me when I thought I was asexual was the thought of never finding love and spending my adult life alone. I found the idea very sad. So don't despair if you feel asexual. Just take a chance against your better judgement one day :smile: