Depressed- should I quit uni
Keep anon please.
Sorry about the crazy length length!
I've been feeling very down recently. It started first term because, although I got on with my housemates, I didn't really feel as though I was making any close friends I could confide in while everyone else seemed to be forming friendship groups. I cried plenty of times because I was lonely, but it was bearable while I was doing my work and mostly uni was ok, but ever since I got back to term 2 from the Christmas holidays I realised how much I hated uni compared to home. I have made one close friend this term, but I always feel like I'm bothering her with my problems.
I missed probably 90% of my lectures this term and only attended stuff that you get signed into. Mostly I just sit in my room on my laptop all day and only leave it to shower/get food. I don't have the enthusiasm to do anything- most of the time I just don't see the point in leaving my room and getting out of bed and I don't want to inflict my company on anyone else. I feel especially low at night and usually just sit and cry. This feeling will last for maybe a week, then all of a sudden I will wake up feeling really happy and be all cheerful for a couple of days before completely crashing and feeling all miserable again- the thing is it's for no reason really; the smallest thing will set me off. My housemate told me to come and talk to them whenever I feel sad, but I feel too guilty for being such a burden to everyone.
Drink is also a massive problem- I drink most days at uni, but only because it makes me happy for a short time, but then the next morning I just wake up feeling worse than ever. I don't drink in the day or anything like that, but I do drink alone in my room and I have been to campus bars alone and got drunk then lied about it to my housemates and said I was with someone else. I know it's bad, but I can't help It just need something that stops me feeling so low, even if it is only for a few hours.
I think the last week of term made it the worst for me. The housemate who booked the welfare meeting said she would come with me as she'd asked if someone would be allowed to come in the meeting with me, but I told her I'd rather go alone. Anyway, I was scared to go alone so eventually I asked the close friend I mentioned earlier to come with me and I text my housemate to tell her not to worry as I was taking someone because she was fretting that I'd just skip it. Anyway, next thing you know she's calling me yelling at me me I was being ungrateful and that it was a one-sided friendship and I wasn't making any effort with her. I could hear a couple of my other housemates in the background saying stuff like 'tell her not to come running to you again'(I've cried in front of her on several occasions) and 'we won't look after her when she's drunk anymore'. I know it was all my fault for being a crappy, terrible friend, but it made me feel like such a worthless, terrible person. I was already sad, but now I was dragging other people down with me. I sent her an apology email, but it doesn't make my behaviour any better. So yeah, I bought some pills from the chemist and I really wanted to take them, but I flushed them away in the end. I know I would never have done it. I haven't told anyone, but it's never got that bad and the seriousness of it made me realise I need to do something. Anyways, later in that day I tried to say sorry in person, but just ended up having a bit of a breakdown and she told me it was fine and not to worry, she was just concerned for me, but now I'm just convinced all my housemates hate me and tbh I wouldn't blame them if they did. For the rest of that week I only came back to the house to sleep; I just spent the rest of my time in the library.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm going crazy and I feel like such a stupid, whining, prat when there are so many things wrong in the world and I have no legitimate reason to feel like this. I want to be happy and enjoy uni like everyone else. I'm just clearly not coping at the moment. Should I just quit uni and focus on getting better? Maybe I could start the year again next September, but tbh I don't see me feeling any better in the forseeable future. Also, do I need to go to the Doctors? I'm scared of going. I'm starting counselling next term, but is there anything else I can do? I just want to be me again...I was always one of those annoyingly cheerful people before and want to feel like that again. Has anyone else experienced something similar to this at uni? I just don't know what to do anymore and need some advice and it's easier to say all of this to someone I don't know or have to speak to face to face than it is to open up in real life.
Thanks in advance, and again, sorry for the length!
Sorry about the crazy length length!
I've been feeling very down recently. It started first term because, although I got on with my housemates, I didn't really feel as though I was making any close friends I could confide in while everyone else seemed to be forming friendship groups. I cried plenty of times because I was lonely, but it was bearable while I was doing my work and mostly uni was ok, but ever since I got back to term 2 from the Christmas holidays I realised how much I hated uni compared to home. I have made one close friend this term, but I always feel like I'm bothering her with my problems.
I missed probably 90% of my lectures this term and only attended stuff that you get signed into. Mostly I just sit in my room on my laptop all day and only leave it to shower/get food. I don't have the enthusiasm to do anything- most of the time I just don't see the point in leaving my room and getting out of bed and I don't want to inflict my company on anyone else. I feel especially low at night and usually just sit and cry. This feeling will last for maybe a week, then all of a sudden I will wake up feeling really happy and be all cheerful for a couple of days before completely crashing and feeling all miserable again- the thing is it's for no reason really; the smallest thing will set me off. My housemate told me to come and talk to them whenever I feel sad, but I feel too guilty for being such a burden to everyone.
Drink is also a massive problem- I drink most days at uni, but only because it makes me happy for a short time, but then the next morning I just wake up feeling worse than ever. I don't drink in the day or anything like that, but I do drink alone in my room and I have been to campus bars alone and got drunk then lied about it to my housemates and said I was with someone else. I know it's bad, but I can't help It just need something that stops me feeling so low, even if it is only for a few hours.
I think the last week of term made it the worst for me. The housemate who booked the welfare meeting said she would come with me as she'd asked if someone would be allowed to come in the meeting with me, but I told her I'd rather go alone. Anyway, I was scared to go alone so eventually I asked the close friend I mentioned earlier to come with me and I text my housemate to tell her not to worry as I was taking someone because she was fretting that I'd just skip it. Anyway, next thing you know she's calling me yelling at me me I was being ungrateful and that it was a one-sided friendship and I wasn't making any effort with her. I could hear a couple of my other housemates in the background saying stuff like 'tell her not to come running to you again'(I've cried in front of her on several occasions) and 'we won't look after her when she's drunk anymore'. I know it was all my fault for being a crappy, terrible friend, but it made me feel like such a worthless, terrible person. I was already sad, but now I was dragging other people down with me. I sent her an apology email, but it doesn't make my behaviour any better. So yeah, I bought some pills from the chemist and I really wanted to take them, but I flushed them away in the end. I know I would never have done it. I haven't told anyone, but it's never got that bad and the seriousness of it made me realise I need to do something. Anyways, later in that day I tried to say sorry in person, but just ended up having a bit of a breakdown and she told me it was fine and not to worry, she was just concerned for me, but now I'm just convinced all my housemates hate me and tbh I wouldn't blame them if they did. For the rest of that week I only came back to the house to sleep; I just spent the rest of my time in the library.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm going crazy and I feel like such a stupid, whining, prat when there are so many things wrong in the world and I have no legitimate reason to feel like this. I want to be happy and enjoy uni like everyone else. I'm just clearly not coping at the moment. Should I just quit uni and focus on getting better? Maybe I could start the year again next September, but tbh I don't see me feeling any better in the forseeable future. Also, do I need to go to the Doctors? I'm scared of going. I'm starting counselling next term, but is there anything else I can do? I just want to be me again...I was always one of those annoyingly cheerful people before and want to feel like that again. Has anyone else experienced something similar to this at uni? I just don't know what to do anymore and need some advice and it's easier to say all of this to someone I don't know or have to speak to face to face than it is to open up in real life.
Thanks in advance, and again, sorry for the length!
Original post by Anonymous
Keep anon please.
Sorry about the crazy length length!
I've been feeling very down recently. It started first term because, although I got on with my housemates, I didn't really feel as though I was making any close friends I could confide in while everyone else seemed to be forming friendship groups. I cried plenty of times because I was lonely, but it was bearable while I was doing my work and mostly uni was ok, but ever since I got back to term 2 from the Christmas holidays I realised how much I hated uni compared to home. I have made one close friend this term, but I always feel like I'm bothering her with my problems.
I missed probably 90% of my lectures this term and only attended stuff that you get signed into. Mostly I just sit in my room on my laptop all day and only leave it to shower/get food. I don't have the enthusiasm to do anything- most of the time I just don't see the point in leaving my room and getting out of bed and I don't want to inflict my company on anyone else. I feel especially low at night and usually just sit and cry. This feeling will last for maybe a week, then all of a sudden I will wake up feeling really happy and be all cheerful for a couple of days before completely crashing and feeling all miserable again- the thing is it's for no reason really; the smallest thing will set me off. My housemate told me to come and talk to them whenever I feel sad, but I feel too guilty for being such a burden to everyone.
Drink is also a massive problem- I drink most days at uni, but only because it makes me happy for a short time, but then the next morning I just wake up feeling worse than ever. I don't drink in the day or anything like that, but I do drink alone in my room and I have been to campus bars alone and got drunk then lied about it to my housemates and said I was with someone else. I know it's bad, but I can't help It just need something that stops me feeling so low, even if it is only for a few hours.
I think the last week of term made it the worst for me. The housemate who booked the welfare meeting said she would come with me as she'd asked if someone would be allowed to come in the meeting with me, but I told her I'd rather go alone. Anyway, I was scared to go alone so eventually I asked the close friend I mentioned earlier to come with me and I text my housemate to tell her not to worry as I was taking someone because she was fretting that I'd just skip it. Anyway, next thing you know she's calling me yelling at me me I was being ungrateful and that it was a one-sided friendship and I wasn't making any effort with her. I could hear a couple of my other housemates in the background saying stuff like 'tell her not to come running to you again'(I've cried in front of her on several occasions) and 'we won't look after her when she's drunk anymore'. I know it was all my fault for being a crappy, terrible friend, but it made me feel like such a worthless, terrible person. I was already sad, but now I was dragging other people down with me. I sent her an apology email, but it doesn't make my behaviour any better. So yeah, I bought some pills from the chemist and I really wanted to take them, but I flushed them away in the end. I know I would never have done it. I haven't told anyone, but it's never got that bad and the seriousness of it made me realise I need to do something. Anyways, later in that day I tried to say sorry in person, but just ended up having a bit of a breakdown and she told me it was fine and not to worry, she was just concerned for me, but now I'm just convinced all my housemates hate me and tbh I wouldn't blame them if they did. For the rest of that week I only came back to the house to sleep; I just spent the rest of my time in the library.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm going crazy and I feel like such a stupid, whining, prat when there are so many things wrong in the world and I have no legitimate reason to feel like this. I want to be happy and enjoy uni like everyone else. I'm just clearly not coping at the moment. Should I just quit uni and focus on getting better? Maybe I could start the year again next September, but tbh I don't see me feeling any better in the forseeable future. Also, do I need to go to the Doctors? I'm scared of going. I'm starting counselling next term, but is there anything else I can do? I just want to be me again...I was always one of those annoyingly cheerful people before and want to feel like that again. Has anyone else experienced something similar to this at uni? I just don't know what to do anymore and need some advice and it's easier to say all of this to someone I don't know or have to speak to face to face than it is to open up in real life.
Thanks in advance, and again, sorry for the length!
Sorry about the crazy length length!
I've been feeling very down recently. It started first term because, although I got on with my housemates, I didn't really feel as though I was making any close friends I could confide in while everyone else seemed to be forming friendship groups. I cried plenty of times because I was lonely, but it was bearable while I was doing my work and mostly uni was ok, but ever since I got back to term 2 from the Christmas holidays I realised how much I hated uni compared to home. I have made one close friend this term, but I always feel like I'm bothering her with my problems.
I missed probably 90% of my lectures this term and only attended stuff that you get signed into. Mostly I just sit in my room on my laptop all day and only leave it to shower/get food. I don't have the enthusiasm to do anything- most of the time I just don't see the point in leaving my room and getting out of bed and I don't want to inflict my company on anyone else. I feel especially low at night and usually just sit and cry. This feeling will last for maybe a week, then all of a sudden I will wake up feeling really happy and be all cheerful for a couple of days before completely crashing and feeling all miserable again- the thing is it's for no reason really; the smallest thing will set me off. My housemate told me to come and talk to them whenever I feel sad, but I feel too guilty for being such a burden to everyone.
Drink is also a massive problem- I drink most days at uni, but only because it makes me happy for a short time, but then the next morning I just wake up feeling worse than ever. I don't drink in the day or anything like that, but I do drink alone in my room and I have been to campus bars alone and got drunk then lied about it to my housemates and said I was with someone else. I know it's bad, but I can't help It just need something that stops me feeling so low, even if it is only for a few hours.
I think the last week of term made it the worst for me. The housemate who booked the welfare meeting said she would come with me as she'd asked if someone would be allowed to come in the meeting with me, but I told her I'd rather go alone. Anyway, I was scared to go alone so eventually I asked the close friend I mentioned earlier to come with me and I text my housemate to tell her not to worry as I was taking someone because she was fretting that I'd just skip it. Anyway, next thing you know she's calling me yelling at me me I was being ungrateful and that it was a one-sided friendship and I wasn't making any effort with her. I could hear a couple of my other housemates in the background saying stuff like 'tell her not to come running to you again'(I've cried in front of her on several occasions) and 'we won't look after her when she's drunk anymore'. I know it was all my fault for being a crappy, terrible friend, but it made me feel like such a worthless, terrible person. I was already sad, but now I was dragging other people down with me. I sent her an apology email, but it doesn't make my behaviour any better. So yeah, I bought some pills from the chemist and I really wanted to take them, but I flushed them away in the end. I know I would never have done it. I haven't told anyone, but it's never got that bad and the seriousness of it made me realise I need to do something. Anyways, later in that day I tried to say sorry in person, but just ended up having a bit of a breakdown and she told me it was fine and not to worry, she was just concerned for me, but now I'm just convinced all my housemates hate me and tbh I wouldn't blame them if they did. For the rest of that week I only came back to the house to sleep; I just spent the rest of my time in the library.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm going crazy and I feel like such a stupid, whining, prat when there are so many things wrong in the world and I have no legitimate reason to feel like this. I want to be happy and enjoy uni like everyone else. I'm just clearly not coping at the moment. Should I just quit uni and focus on getting better? Maybe I could start the year again next September, but tbh I don't see me feeling any better in the forseeable future. Also, do I need to go to the Doctors? I'm scared of going. I'm starting counselling next term, but is there anything else I can do? I just want to be me again...I was always one of those annoyingly cheerful people before and want to feel like that again. Has anyone else experienced something similar to this at uni? I just don't know what to do anymore and need some advice and it's easier to say all of this to someone I don't know or have to speak to face to face than it is to open up in real life.
Thanks in advance, and again, sorry for the length!
Interesting read
. Normally the route of depression is when you are surrounded by "bad people". But from what i could make out, you are surrounded by really nice people.
Firstly you need to order some pizzas (2 for 1 on Tuesdays at dominoes) order like 4. Share your pizza with the house mates and say this is your way of apologizing for the idiot you've been recently.
Secondly you really need to make more then 1 friend. Try being friends with that house mate who wanted to go to the meeting with you, you are not going to be a burden on her! That's just how you make friends. When my mums car broke down i called one of my "mates" up that i hadn't spoken to in 2 years to see if he could help us out and he got another of his mates to come and pick my mums car up! Now we are very good friends and just last week i got my mum to drop him to the Airport for his holiday.
Friendship is a give and take thing. They might come in handy now, but you'll come in handy later
.If you do as i say, you shouldn't really be depressed anymore
I do love it when people don't understand depression! If you are genuinely feeling really low and don't know why see a go. Depression isn't about making yourself feel happy, surrounding yourself my positive people, eating 'happy' foods' etc. Clinicalcal depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, that tablets can help restore, alongside cbt cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling. Exercise helps realise endorphins and being in the sun helps make vitamin D (happy vitamin) so all if these will help. But you do need to see a gp. I'm a sufferer of depression and anxiety so if you need to chat pm me x
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Omg sorry about the mistakes I was on the phone writing this!
Some days I sit in tears and feel absolutely rubbish yet have no idea why, I can sit a justify that I'm a good Mum, good and my job etc, but some days I can't control it.. I'm having a good day today- been out running, been to the shop but some days I literally can't get out if bed, I'm exhausted and anxious. It will get better though so please hold onto that! But you need medical advice!
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Some days I sit in tears and feel absolutely rubbish yet have no idea why, I can sit a justify that I'm a good Mum, good and my job etc, but some days I can't control it.. I'm having a good day today- been out running, been to the shop but some days I literally can't get out if bed, I'm exhausted and anxious. It will get better though so please hold onto that! But you need medical advice!
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Depression strikes when a person has nothing to do with his hands or mind. It has been proven and it works on me too. When I am depressed, I immediately take some hard work no matter mental or physical. Do you know that WW2 veterans were being treated by giving them work to do? That was the only way they stopped thinking about terrible sights and blood and actually started living. What I recommend is to keep yourself busy. Don't stop to think about useless and depressing stuff, don't think about people you don't like.
Do ANYTHING which turns your mind from your problems. I was depressed when left with prospect of skipping a year because I did not want to take my course. Now I'm grateful because the course I chose might be the right one for me. I kept myself occupied both mentally and physically. People don't get depressed when they are working, thinking and solving problems. They become depressed when they have nothing to do.
These words are kinda harsh but it is the only way for you take get out of vicious cycle and stop torturing yourself. Get busy.
Do ANYTHING which turns your mind from your problems. I was depressed when left with prospect of skipping a year because I did not want to take my course. Now I'm grateful because the course I chose might be the right one for me. I kept myself occupied both mentally and physically. People don't get depressed when they are working, thinking and solving problems. They become depressed when they have nothing to do.
These words are kinda harsh but it is the only way for you take get out of vicious cycle and stop torturing yourself. Get busy.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by kmcgowan13
I do love it when people don't understand depression! If you are genuinely feeling really low and don't know why see a go. Depression isn't about making yourself feel happy, surrounding yourself my positive people, eating 'happy' foods' etc. Clinicalcal depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, that tablets can help restore, alongside cbt cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling. Exercise helps realise endorphins and being in the sun helps make vitamin D (happy vitamin) so all if these will help. But you do need to see a gp. I'm a sufferer of depression and anxiety so if you need to chat pm me x
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So you're saying it's always just a chemical thing and nothing more?
On no certainly not it can be circumstantial but there is so much more to it that people don't understand! I'm a mother with a good career but applying to uni, my life is far from boring and there is never a time that I nothing to do...
I went through a marital breakdown with no effects on my depression, moved house twice and started a new job - all very stressful and was fine... But a few weeks ago I spiralled down due to one very minor comment!
I have so many positives in my life, my beautiful daughter, supportive partner and family amazing friends, yet some days I feel worthless and alone! That everyone is better off with out me, I want to hide away. Anxiety stops me from going out with stupid fears of being raped, being in a car crash, everyone hating me that then spirals the depression down. There is a massive difference between feeling low and being depressed..
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I went through a marital breakdown with no effects on my depression, moved house twice and started a new job - all very stressful and was fine... But a few weeks ago I spiralled down due to one very minor comment!
I have so many positives in my life, my beautiful daughter, supportive partner and family amazing friends, yet some days I feel worthless and alone! That everyone is better off with out me, I want to hide away. Anxiety stops me from going out with stupid fears of being raped, being in a car crash, everyone hating me that then spirals the depression down. There is a massive difference between feeling low and being depressed..
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Hi OP,
Poor you. It sounds like you're really poorly and struggling just now.
I've been through very similar at university- both with mental ill-health and with worrying hugely about offending flatmates and friends. Keep in mind that you probably won't know your flatmates years (or even a year) from now so it's not worth stressing about them too much.
The things that are important here are:
1. Your health and wellbeing
2. Your degree and your future
3. Your sense of self worth and enjoyment of life
I struggled on at uni and missed exam periods due to severe ocd and depression and have ended up in a bad place because of it. However your situation could be different:
Firstly, make sure you go to see your GP and get a diagnosis of clinical depression- this is what you describe. Ask for a referral for CBT therapy, unless you want to give uni counselling a try first. Even if you choose not to take the therapy offers (GP will probably offer CBT and/or medication) then having an official diagnosis will be helpful if you fall behind/miss any assessments and need evidence of mitigating/special circumstances. Having a diagnosis also opens things up for you to receive help from the disability office (e.g. extra time in exams, extensions to deadlines, the ability to record lectures and a personal tutor to help you get organized).
Secondly, take some time to consider your future and degree. It is so difficult to sort things out if they get messed up but at this point you can still choose what to do. Do you think you'll be able to complete the year, sit exams and complete your assignments? If so, then focus on this and try to get through. If not, then you need to talk to a tutor about potentially taking a leave of absence to allow you to get better.
Thirdly, consider the things that always make you feel a bit better and write a list of these things to incorporate in each day.
Feel free to Pm me
Poor you. It sounds like you're really poorly and struggling just now.
I've been through very similar at university- both with mental ill-health and with worrying hugely about offending flatmates and friends. Keep in mind that you probably won't know your flatmates years (or even a year) from now so it's not worth stressing about them too much.
The things that are important here are:
1. Your health and wellbeing
2. Your degree and your future
3. Your sense of self worth and enjoyment of life
I struggled on at uni and missed exam periods due to severe ocd and depression and have ended up in a bad place because of it. However your situation could be different:
Firstly, make sure you go to see your GP and get a diagnosis of clinical depression- this is what you describe. Ask for a referral for CBT therapy, unless you want to give uni counselling a try first. Even if you choose not to take the therapy offers (GP will probably offer CBT and/or medication) then having an official diagnosis will be helpful if you fall behind/miss any assessments and need evidence of mitigating/special circumstances. Having a diagnosis also opens things up for you to receive help from the disability office (e.g. extra time in exams, extensions to deadlines, the ability to record lectures and a personal tutor to help you get organized).
Secondly, take some time to consider your future and degree. It is so difficult to sort things out if they get messed up but at this point you can still choose what to do. Do you think you'll be able to complete the year, sit exams and complete your assignments? If so, then focus on this and try to get through. If not, then you need to talk to a tutor about potentially taking a leave of absence to allow you to get better.
Thirdly, consider the things that always make you feel a bit better and write a list of these things to incorporate in each day.
Feel free to Pm me
Hey there,
I am exactly in the same frame of mind as you, I have been depressed about a number of things, and the thing is it started when I was living alone for the 2nd year of university. My 1st year of University was going good in terms of living with other housemates. But I always felt left out as the other housemates had things in common, like they love a night out, they all liked the same kind of music and as for me I was and still am a computer nerd who loves technology and like dance/trance/hardstyle music. So most of the time I was alone in my room or in the living room while they were in the conservatory socializing.. I could've as easy went out there but they spoke about all things that do not interest me and vice versa.
Turns out they wasn't friends to me anyway due to the fact that whenever I tried to say hello to them at Uni in the 2nd year they would ignore me.. there is only 1 person out of the 8 of them that is friendly and still speaks to me.
So anyway, I brushed it off and forgot about them. So in the 2nd year I am living alone in a box room with just a landlady who is hardly ever there. There are times since where I am sitting there in my room unhappy doing nothing, whenever I try to do something my thoughts get in the way and I end up stop doing what I am doing. I know exactly what you are feeling and it doesn't help that over the summer last year (end of the first year at uni) I came out and started dating.. it all turned into disaster and it really got me down for months.
tl;dr: Don't quit university, if you drop out and start again you will have to pay for an extra year back on Student Finance, plus starting over is pointless. I get depressed at times, but I get over it, make myself busy and count down the days until I go back home to be with family.
I am exactly in the same frame of mind as you, I have been depressed about a number of things, and the thing is it started when I was living alone for the 2nd year of university. My 1st year of University was going good in terms of living with other housemates. But I always felt left out as the other housemates had things in common, like they love a night out, they all liked the same kind of music and as for me I was and still am a computer nerd who loves technology and like dance/trance/hardstyle music. So most of the time I was alone in my room or in the living room while they were in the conservatory socializing.. I could've as easy went out there but they spoke about all things that do not interest me and vice versa.
Turns out they wasn't friends to me anyway due to the fact that whenever I tried to say hello to them at Uni in the 2nd year they would ignore me.. there is only 1 person out of the 8 of them that is friendly and still speaks to me.
So anyway, I brushed it off and forgot about them. So in the 2nd year I am living alone in a box room with just a landlady who is hardly ever there. There are times since where I am sitting there in my room unhappy doing nothing, whenever I try to do something my thoughts get in the way and I end up stop doing what I am doing. I know exactly what you are feeling and it doesn't help that over the summer last year (end of the first year at uni) I came out and started dating.. it all turned into disaster and it really got me down for months.
tl;dr: Don't quit university, if you drop out and start again you will have to pay for an extra year back on Student Finance, plus starting over is pointless. I get depressed at times, but I get over it, make myself busy and count down the days until I go back home to be with family.
So good to see some sense! I think as a sufferer you understand more of what goes on! Good luck
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