Why do Girls keep on going on about their boyfriend...

...ad the fact they have one? It's like so many define themselves by the relationship they have. Boyfriends are like fashion accessories for these girls. So many many women I know are boring as sin because they always talk about their boyfriend in everything. It's like every girl I know who used to be fun and exciting and my friends are now boring because they have boyfriends and don't even hang around and go for drinks and stay in touch because of it. It makes you wonder if women and men can be friends and if women settle down that fast when they find someone.

Sometimes I wish I could shake these girls hard and tell them that nobody cares about their boyfriend and to talk about something else. I don't hear guys talking about their girlfriends all the time.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 11 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

danny111

You sounds a little jealous is all.

Reply 2

Sgt.Incontro

Original post by danny111

You sounds a little jealous is all.

Maybe/maybe not - but the OP does have a very valid point IMO.

Reply 3

Solid.Snake

Could be just the girls that you're talking to.
If not then it could be that they can't find anything else to talk about with you, so get bored and start talking about their boyfriend.

Try talking about another topic that you both have an interest in?

Reply 4

datpiff

Original post by Solid.Snake

These are girls who are or used to be my friends and who I used to be able to have a laugh with.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 5

Truflais

Oh you sound JUST like my boyfriend! :ahee:

No, but I do agree. When it's relevant to the conversation then I don't mind, but I have a friend who literally works her boyfriend into every sentence, which is just plain annoying.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

kirstieviolet

I'll admit I'm probably one of these women. I do it though because my boyfriend is also one of my best friends. He's a huge part of my life and naturally, if something makes me happy i'm going to talk about it a lot. I guess it's similar to when people have children or a pet they really love. It makes sense if your spending lots of time with someone to end up talking to other people about them. It seems to be the case that as people mature and mellow into adult life their priorities swap from friendships, having fun etc to settling down, commitments, life plans. People want to know their life is heading somewhere. People don't mean to come across as boring and to them it's probably a really exciting time! Just be happy that your friends are in a relationship that is clearly pleasing them. I'd prefer my friends were and talked all day about their partner than them be lonely and/or longing for that sort of relationship. :smile:

Edit: if someone is taking it too far and they're obsessive and don't give their friends any time of day anymore then they clearly cannot understand that they are capable of a multitude of different relationships and friendships with people. men are different hormonally and women are programmed to become attached more quickly. for example during sex women produce a bonding hormone where as men don't. maybe that's a factor? who knows!

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 7

Sgt.Incontro

Those sorts of girls are the same types of girls that post vain/narcissistic status updates on their Facebook every 2 minutes I find. Pretty dumb and shallow - I generally avoid these girls like the plague as they are as thick as wood.

Disclaimer: From own personal experience, not asserting this as fact.

Reply 8

Over The Rainbow X

I think it is the case that girls tend to go on a lot about their boyfriend during the 'honeymoon' period, and most of the time, when things have levelled out, they seem to have a bit of a reality check and start being able to hold normal conversations again. If your girlfriends have recently entered relationships, they probably will be completely smitten, hence the constant talking about their significant other.

It is severely annoying though.

Reply 9

lizlaz350

Original post by kirstieviolet

I agree with this. I probably talk about my boyfriend a bit too much, but I do only try to do it when it's relevant to conversations. It's mainly because he is the person I talk to the most even though we don't see each other in person all that much.

Also because I'm the sort of person that nobody expected to get a boyfriend - when some people find out that I have one, they'll be really patronising and be like 'aww good for you' in a way that they wouldn't with most other people, so I think in a way, I'm desperate to prove that both me and him are perfectly normal and happy?

I'm definitely not ignoring my friends for it though and it's definitely not all I talk about.

Reply 10

forgetamine

I've never noticed girls like that. Where I live girls just talk about TOWIE, shopping and make-up all the time, which is way worse in my opinion.

Reply 11

LexiswasmyNexis

Original post by datpiff

I find myself talking about my gf more when I'm with a lass I find attractive. Seems a safe way to keep dangerous flirtation away.

Maybe they're same.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

RichyFrench

I'd say it's because they're insecure. Society thinks there's something wrong with a girl if she's single. Some girls can deal with that but I think others need that validation, so when they have a boyfriend they love to let everyone know. They're effectively bragging because they're proud of themselves.

Reply 13

Mankytoes

Original post by datpiff

If a girl starts talking about her boyfriend a lot to you, it's often her way of telling you she's unavailable. Maybe you are coming across as flirty, even when you aren't meaning to?

Some girls do this deliberately to get one over on their single friends. I mean I don't bang on about my girlfriend to friends who I know aren't happy with their female situations for whatever reason, which can be hard if I've been with her a lot because she's in all my stories. I have worse self awareness than pretty much any girl, so if I can work out that it's twattish to go on about your partner, I'm pretty sure they know it is. I've heard girls say things like "uh my boyfriend is so annoying, you're so lucky you're always single and don't have to deal with this stuff", proper bitchy.

Reply 14

Llamageddon

only usually the ones insecure in their relationship

unless it is relevant to the conversation

which is pretty much never

Reply 15

beccagood95

If I'm going to talk about someone else it's usually my boyfriend as he's my only friend. :moon:

Reply 16

study beats

yes its very annoying, those girls are like trolls

Reply 17

g_star_raw_1989

I have one friend in particular like this. Everyday, without fail, there are hourly updates from her on BBM about what they are doing. This morning I've learned that he made her breakfast and brought it up to bed followed by a notification that he washed up after too. An hour later I learned that she misses him cause he left for lectures.

Luckily don't see her in person much anymore.

Reply 18

Ribbits

Original post by Llamageddon

only usually the ones insecure in their relationship

^ I second that as being the case sometimes (not always).

For the first year-ish of the relationship I never mentioned my boyfriend, unless asked about him or rarely I might mention him ie. 'oh yeah my boyfriend was talking about that the other day, he said there's a good place for...' as a natural part of conversation.

He is a very sweet sensitive type of person. He had long standing jealousy issues and insecurities that he was hiding because he knew they were his issues, nothing to do with me or his trust for me, so he wanted to try and ignore them/cure them himself. When they did come out though, it became clear that he was actually irrationally upset and anxious whenever I was talking to any guy or new group of people without him (and he knew it was irrational but couldn't help it). His long term ex-girlfriend had cheated on him for a year and been talking to various guys pretending she was single. He said a few times to me things like 'do you even mention that you have a boyfriend? When? You don't tell them straight away, do you?' - while he was upset.

I put trying to please his irrational demands above social decorum and consciously made an effort to mention him as early as possible (and too much from then on...), not to get too close and not to be too open, jokey or friendly with any guy. I knew I was being awkward and a bit embarrassing, I didn't want to upset or hurt him. Especially when I started working in a large mostly male workforce as a security guard because I knew how difficult that must have been for him... my boss actually said "Okay, we get it, you have a boyfriend" : X !!
BUT, it was only short term while we built his confidence/security within himself. He was naturally prone to jealousy and anxiety, but in a loving committed relationship you can overcome problems.

Now that he is no longer insecure in any way, I no longer watch out not to be too friendly/jokey and to mention him all the time. Obviously I was never flirty or inappropriate and I'm still not, but I'm myself again. It was a temporary sacrifice while I helped him through things. I never stopped socialising and always pushed the boundaries to build up his confidence/take him through baby steps while also building the bond between us until he was secure in all situations. It was never an issue with him trusting me as a person, these problems are much deeper. He always trusted me 100%, he was just uncomfortable with other people. It's good to see how happy he is now. Worth it!

Some people are insecure, it's not the end of the world unless you can't help each other past it and it starts damaging your lives.

Reply 19

Future African game vet

Tell me about it.... it drives me insane! I always seem to find they do it more when you are single too like "oooh look at me I have a bf" - I just find it irritating and a bit pitiful... So I try and send a message by shutting down and not interacting much when they go off on one, just nodding and looking slightly glazed over... they usually take the hint haha.

Personally I think that its sort of ingrained in a lot of women that if they have a man, they are somehow superior, so like to try and show off about it - probably mostly subconsciously, though I'm generally quite tolerant and will nod/ smile in the right places it does irritate me when they go on and on and on.... text their bf when they are out with you, phone them up to say something, skype them when they are staying at yours.... I wish people would just get a life instead of trying to share/ mould themselves in to their bfs...

It just makes them boring people...

(edited 11 years ago)