Compromising uni to stay with my girlfriend?

In a really hard situation here. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and of course I would love to stay with her. She's going to Cardiff uni, and where I do have an offer to go there I really want to go to Sheffield as its better for my course (Chemistry) and the town just appealed to me more.

So should I go to cardiff? Im scared that if it doesn't work out i'll have messed it all up and regret not going to Sheffield. I also don't want to be a social recluse (which I have become lately) by just staying with her all the time. So yeah please help.

Also any preachers for Cardiff or Sheffield are welcome to persuade me :smile:

Reply 1

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

Sometimes you have to be selfish and go for what suits you best, if Sheffield suits your course better then go there, you can't just go to the same uni purely to be with your girlfriend. Personally I've had a lot of mates who went to Sheffield and absolutely loved it and it's a good City. You can make it work long distance, as hard as it is.

Reply 2

jskely

You have just been a year with ur girlfriend. Theres more things to do in the future and not necessarily with ur girlfriend. Also, ure nt sure whether ure gonne be with her forever. So for now, its best u decide whats best for you. Go to sheffield. Enjoy life while ure still young. I think that sometimes couples need to have some space too. Uni life is something new. Prolly u guys will want to enjoy uni without being constantly restricted with the relationship. Long distance relationship can be tough but if ure meant for each other than it wont be a problem.

Good Luck!

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(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 3

olop

Go to the best uni for you and your course. There's nothing to guarantee you'll stay with your gf throughout uni and if you were to break up I'm pretty sure you'd regret not chosing Sheffield :crossedf:

Reply 4

ExWunderkind

Original post by Anonymous

Go to Sheffield. If she really cares about you she will understand this, as she will want what is best for you.

You don't know if you guys are forever, and I'm not saying you won't be, but sometimes you have to put yourself first and I believe a situation like this, is one of those. You going to Sheffield doesn't equal you guys ending, but it means you will both have to increase the work you put into the relationship for it to survive.

Reply 5

littleone271

Do what makes you happy.

If you split up you'll regret not going to Sheffield and if you don't split up you may find yourself socially confined because of your relationship and regret not going to Sheffield anyway. If you go to Sheffield you may find yourself unhappy because of the distance between the two of you but at the same time it will test the strengths of your relationship and this might be a positive thing because it will tell you whether you're really meant for each other or not. You need to weigh it all up...

Reply 6

Sgt.Incontro

Sheffield, no questions asked.

A girlfriend is just a girlfriend at your age, pretty meaningless tbh.

Reply 7

astrojg

Your girlfriend, no offence, might spilt up with you before you even get to uni. A degree will stay with you forever, but then you will be getting a degree whichever way but dont make your decisions based on other people. It will be you doing the degree so choose for yourself.

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Reply 8

play_fetch

My bf went to Cardiff and I went to a Uni 5 hours away.. Sheffield is even further .. To stay together requires commitment and money to travel. If you want to go to Sheffield then that's where you should go- I'm a fun believer you can make things work, I have for 4 years.

Also I hated Cardiff when I had to stay there > a couple of nights.. I'm first year he was in the worst halls miles away from town.. It sucked. But Cardiff was more than a good option for my course so I did try and consider it equally.

Both Sheffield and Cardiff are big on the nights out scene.. Just sayin, something to consider. Also I know people who followed their bf to Cardiff and it didn't work out well and they regret it!

So it could go either way. Even if you're really in love you can make it work at another Uni though so.. I'd just advise you to go with you gut on your Uni choice and not consider her.

Reply 9

Alex17595

there's only 3 1/2 hours by train between you anyway.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

wow thanks wasn't expecting so much response. Clearly there's a trending answer here... I've just thought about the situation so much that I don't even know about how I feel for the two different unis.

Thanks again, whatever decision I make will be the right one.

OP you are wet.

You should go where you want to go. Do not follow your girlfriend just to stay together.

LDRs can work, and do work. Obviously, it's not for everyone, but if you both want this relationship to work then you'll try for it. It's not worth compromising on what you want to do. Would she go to the Uni you wanted, or is she being selfish about her university course? I'm not saying she's wrong - you should only think about yourself when choosing the university. At the end of the day, it's your education and your life. You can still make a relationship work.

Reply 13

Emma:-)

Entertainment Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Id go to Sheffield. You like the place more and the uni is better for your course. You will also get to make new friends, have fun etc. You can still see your girlfriend in the holidays, as well as keeping in touch by phone, email etc. And if you end up splitting up, you will know that it wasnt meant to be. If you go to Cardiff, then you will constantly think "what if". And if you do end up splitting up with her, you will regret not going to Sheffield.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by katehlouise

Yeah she would go to Sheffield but she didn't apply there originally. She can probably get in through UCAS extra, which she's looked at. But that would mean rejecting all her current offers to only possibly get the offer from sheffield, and to be honest that would be so selfish of me i'm sure you'd agree. Thought about it so much that both places just seem the same... so annoying

Reply 15

BlueSheep32

If you're meant to be together and you both really want your relationship to work, it'll work regardless of the distance. You've been together for a year but you've hardly made a lifelong commitment to one another - you might be together forever, but then again, you might not. Choosing a university based on where your boyfriend or girlfriend is going or is studying always a bad idea IMO.

You've said it yourself in the title - you feel like you'd be compromising your uni experience to stay with her if you went to Cardiff. When it comes to university, you should go where's best for you, not where's best for your relationship.