Want to hurt my ex

stevie1989

i won't, but it's how i feel. had no contact with her for a month, then she started questioning who i was out with. then she proceeded to block me on twitter and everything else.

i've only slept with her. she's only slept with me.

now the other night, she came up to me, bumped into her at a friends party. she said that she was drunk, but wanted to be friends. i said i wasn't sure. i then drank a lot, and ended up texting her, suggesting how intimate we've been and basically said i shouldn't be around her because i wanted her. i don't get this, because i can't stand her, yet at the time i wanted her.

anyway, things got heated, but we kept it to text, because she's lied to her friends saying we never slept together. she then told me i was ruining her night and the night we were out was the first time in her life she'd ever had so much attention, i'm presuming she meant from guys. this didn't bother me, i was just annoyed she was saying nothing happened between us and was making out she was still a virgin.

today, she text me saying i had threatened her. i checked my texts, and all i had said was that i was going to let people know what she was really like by telling them that she was lying and we'd slept together. i wouldn't have, and told her i wouldn't be so petty. she then said to be friends. i've tried it for an hour. i can't do it. i made small talk, asked about a mutual friend, because i thought he was seeing someone. she had a go at me saying i'd got the wrong idea and i shouldn't say stuff like that.

at the moment, i just want to hurt her. i want her to fall for me again so i can treat her like crap. but i'm not childish and would never do anything like that. i'm just so annoyed by her at the moment. sure i made mistakes by saying i 'wanted her', but she's messing with my head now.

best to cut her out? try being friends? i don't know.

Reply 1

Charlotte's Web

It seems like at the moment, you're not emotionally ready to be friends with her again. A good option would be to wait until it all dies down (and for her friends talking about you). She thinks you were threatening, you want to hurt her, and she's annoying you with her behaviour. Obviously having people speaking badly about you, and potentially thinking that you're a threatening person is problematic. It therefore might be good to give each other space, then gradually consider being friends again. It's a good sign that you've realised you made mistakes, and with time you can both earn each others respect and build a friendship if you decide that's what you want.

Reply 2

Yawn11

Don't be bitter, be better.

Reply 3

carmloody

We should not solve a problem by creating another problem, that would be only a disaster. Just let the time pass by, time can heal, you might not know, eventually everything will go in a smooth way then you can be friend with her. Respect is very important

Reply 4

stevie1989

she text me before in a state of panic. she told me that she feels people she knows are making her feel under attack. she told me she's been having panic attacks. made me feel guilty after my previous post, so i asked her about her panic attacks. she went really short with crap replies like "yuppp", "i do", "yeah a bit" etc. etc. told me she'd been the doctors, but acted like she didn't care, when i was actually being concerned for her. wow.

Reply 5

username47781

Yeah you need to cut all contact with her, this is why it never really works trying to be friends with an ex.

Reply 6

Journeyzap

Cut contact with her - maybe just drop a note first saying "I'm going to cut all contact with you, I need to get over you" or something along those lines (and then don't go back on your word - don't reply to texts or calls).

Don't do anything petty to hurt her - will get you no where and just shows how bitter you are yourself.

Reply 7

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by Yawn11

Don't be bitter, be better.

This, move on man, grow, be the greater for it.

Plenty more 'virgins' to date.

Reply 8

TFP

Best to cut off all ties.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 9

stevie1989

i'm over her, that's the thing. it was the alcohol talking. it's just really annoyed me the fact she said she's trying to 'cut out of her mind' what we've done. it doesn't make sense! she initiated it when we were going out as she said she loved me and felt like this was the next step. now she's saying she doesn't want to make those mistakes again.

the other night she was flaunting the fact she liked some guy who was on the night out, referring to the attention. if she ends up with him, doesn't bother me, but it's the lies she's telling.

woke up this morning to a text from her asking me not to tell people that she has panic attacks. so i don't know if they're lies.

Reply 10

Rainbows!

Original post by stevie1989

If you want to hurt her then your not fully over her. Your getting worked up over a person who really shouldn't affect you anymore but she does as you have spent energy writing a post on here for advice in quite a frustrated tone.
In Bold, I have felt like this a lot. It's embarrassing because you think to yourself, 'oh I am not like that as a person normally'. So if I have felt like that I am pretty sure many people feel that way, so it's probably a very normal reaction but you need to find out why. Mine was bitterness and jealousy which I do still have waves of but with time, they become less and less and you start seeing yourself again and reflecting on your own happiness instead of someone else's

Also, I have found that if the other person dips in and out of your life they aren't totally over you as why would they be contacting you/responding to your contact. So break contact and you will be surprised by the outcome. Sometimes they never contact you, sometimes they do months/years later or when your least expecting it. I would just leave the texting and talking for another time when your both clear headed and less hostile, if that ever will be. Sometimes relationships are just at the 'wrong' time and if there meant to be, eventually a 'right' time will come :smile: