My crush hates me + my friends ignoring me :(

I've been off school for the 3 days prior to the weekend. I have "patella subluxation" which the doctor says is basically where your knee dislocates and then clicks back in place due to stress on the inner tendon of the knee, this keeps happening to me when I'm dancing. I can't walk properly. I have crutches. I had a Musical Theatre vocal competition today- I couldn't go. I had a drama competition today- I couldn't go. I have 2 choral singing concerts on Wednesday and Friday- guess what? I can't go! (There's lots of movement involved). I'm just devastated; there are no words to even describe how disappointed I feel. :cry:

To add to this physical depression, I am still in a difficult situation with a guy- He found out I like him, he said he loved me back but didn't want a relationship because we're too young, he then started flirting with my best friend in front of me and with another girl called the same name as me(every time he called her name I would turn around because I thought he meant me- how awkward?:L). I started avoiding him, hoping that he would kind of miss talking to me and walking home with me and then we had an argument about it. We haven’t spoken to each other since then and we never see each other in school because we aren’t in the same classes anymore- he probably doesn’t even care about me (like most people) but I still love him… I have no one to talk to about it, my friends don’t want to listen so I pretend I’m over him and my parents don’t understand- IM NOT EVEN ALLOWED FACEBOOK/TWITTER- I made an account without permission and they were so mad! They don’t know about TSR forums, they think it’s just for school revision which is fine.
And then, to top it off, my “friends” don’t even acknowledge that I’m not at school. No messages, no texts, no phone calls. THEY DON’T CARE. They left me on my own last week because my singing lesson was in dinnertime. They didn’t wait for me to have my dinner afterwards and I had to eat alone. They are really nice people individually, and we can be great friends, but lately I feel left out because they all recently went on a Paris trip together with school which I wasn’t allowed to go to. They always talk about what happened there and share memories, and I can’t join in with the conversation. I always try to make an effort If I see that someone else is feeling left out to include them in the topic, but no one gives a damn about me!
BUT THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING IS THAT MY “BEST FRIEND”, Katie, she organized a Birthday Barbecue today, invited about 8 friends who we all sit with at lunch and didn’t even invite me. She didn’t even bother to ask me how I was or why I wasn’t at school! I’ve just been out, hobbling around on my painful knee in town buying the final birthday presents for her AND SHE, MY BEST FRIEND, IS HAVING A PARTY WITHOUT ME!
I feel so hurt and distraught right now. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying.

Reply 1

Michaelj

I'd find a new person to have a crush. He obviously doesn't see you that way. And lesson learnt, don't play games with people as it's highly likely it won't work out. Secondly, I'd find some new friends, they don't seem like the type of people I'd wanna be friends with.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

[+QUOTE]I'd find a new person to have a crush. He obviously doesn't see you that way. And lesson learnt, don't play games with people as it's highly likely it won't work out. Secondly, I'd find some new friends, they don't seem like the type of people I'd wanna be friends with.

Hi :smile:

Thanks for replying! You say I should find a new crush but, for me its not as simple as that. I myself, am a Christian and finding a guy who is also a Christian in this age is quite difficult. He's the first guy I've met who has lots in common with me, and we both share lots of hobbies. There's no one else quite like him, and I'm not sure how I am to move on. Contact and conversation between us ended abruptly and there are many things I would like to clear up with him. As for the games, I would call myself a game player, I was given advice by another guy who is a great friend and I thought that avoiding him would help me move on and stop him from flirting with my friends and making me jealous all the time. It didn't work :frown:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Anyone else got any advice?

Reply 4

Michaelj

Original post by Anonymous

I'm unsure about my friends. I'm wrapping my Best friend's presents up now and I've gone to so much trouble to making them beautiful, adding bows and ribbon and little notes inside. She's always appreciative, all of my friends are but its not to go with the gifts, its to do with the fact that they don't include me :'(

As a guy I'll say that the game you was referring to, distancing yourself to make guy jealous is very risky, the guy might realise what he missed but if he's like me, he'll be... lolwut. For example the guy might think you hate him, not interested etc. This can be just as painful for the guy and to find out you was playing him will make him move on.

Does the person have to be a Christian for you to like him? I'm sure there's many good mannered guys who don't take religion seriously but will respect your religion just as much.

With your relationship with friends, I pity you. It seems you keep giving and giving and they don't care and don't give back. You don't want a relationship like this.

Reply 5

Tan hussain

Your best friend didn't invite you, that must have been devastating. You consider her to be your best friend but does she think of you this way have you thought about that?

TL;DR

It sounds like a lot of rough stuff is going on in your life right now, and that's got to be hard to deal with. The thing is, you can't really force your friends or your crush to want to hang out with you. They sound like jerks, so I suggest you start making new friends either at choral group, school, or other activities that you do. As for the crush, if he doesn't like you back there's nothing you can do. Just move onwards and upwards.

I'm not sure why people aren't talking to you or inviting you to parties. Don't take this in an accusatory way - I know this was a rant, so it is probably more pessimistic than you normally are. But consider whether or not you are always complaining about things (your knee, your parents, etc.). Sometimes you're the problem even when you don't mean to be, because even though you're going through a hard time, nobody likes a whiner.

Reply 8

theorangebox

Original post by Anonymous

Why does the guy you're with have to be a Christian?

Also, don't worry about finding someone else. There will be a lot of people like him. You're still at school so it's pretty normal to feel like he's the 'only one' because there's only a limited number of people you see daily, but its a big world out there. :smile:

Also when you say 'She didn’t even bother to ask me how I was or why I wasn’t at school!' do you mean to say you haven't even told your friends why you aren't at school? I mean, I suppose a text or something would be quite a considerate thing to do, but when my friends disappear I usually assume they're on holiday or something. :dontknow:

And perhaps you didn't get an invite because you weren't in school to get an invite? I mean you don't sound like a bad person at all, but I think you're probably imagining some mistreatment that isn't there. People forget things, they have other commitments and they sometimes talk about things you won't get. It happens, chin up. :smile:

Has all this happened in the last week? Cause I understand that sometimes stuff can really build up and get you really down, but it really sounds like you're just getting a bit too worked up over a few bad days. :smile:

Calm down and just work on getting better!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Thanks for all the replies! My dad has agreed to let me get Facebook which is really great as it means that I can contact my friends and not feel so left out. At school I have been feeling a lot more included these last 2 days and I'm just hoping that this will stay the same. I still really like this guy though, and I would like to invite him to a Christian Youth Group on Sunday which my Dad is holding, at which I will be singing solo :biggrin:

My crush has complemented me on my singing previously and he plays the guitar (girls you can understand why I like him so much) so I'm wanting to suggest the idea of creating a band with some of my other friends who play the keyboard and the drums. I want to start talking to him again, but how? I don't want to use Facebook as the main point of contact as when I had it previously, (didn't have permission so it didn't end well :L) any conversations we had online were awkward and he dislikes talking online. I want to start walking home with him again but I'm not sure if he still walks that way. HELP?