"How can I look better?" - why do you do it?

Don't worry, I'm not asking this question :smile:

I've seen quite a few threads of this nature in the past and always wonder why these people come on a forum to ask random strangers for their approval/advice?

In my opinion, if I wanted to change something or needed genuine advice, my first point of call would be my friends and family since they know me the best. It's genuinely difficult for a stranger on the internet to be that useful if they don't know you, your style, personality and what makes you well....you.

Reply 1

xStaceyy

Strangers are more likely to be truthful, sometimes to the point of being mean.
I don't understand why people can't just try things on their own so I hate those threads myself, however when it comes to asking family and friends, they will be more inclined to say that they are fine as they are and they don't need to change so as to spare their feelings.

Reply 2

username240699

Original post by xStaceyy

Fair point. Sometimes if I ask my family they are pretty blunt (and harsh if I protest too much) but they're right. The thing is family care about you and want the best for you (in most cases) but strangers have no incentive to provide useful information. They could simply be malicious or trolling for the sake of it.

Reply 3

theorangebox

Original post by Mastermind007

In my opinion, if I wanted to change something or needed genuine advice, my first point of call would be my friends and family since they know me the best. It's genuinely difficult for a stranger on the internet to be that useful if they don't know you, your style, personality and what makes you well....you.

I've never asked this to anyone, but if I did I'd probably ask online for the anonymity. I feel like it would come across as vain to whoever you ask and I'd rather my friends/family didn't think that of me to be honest. (Is that vain in itself? I don't know. Arg.)

Reply 4

username240699

Original post by theorangebox

Sorry, I'll be more clear. It could be just about appearance, but many times it's making changes for the purpose of health/confidence etc.

Things like improving your skin condition, weight, clothing to suit your body could all be part of it and if a family member or friend asked me that, I'd respect them having the courage to ask me for help.

Reply 5

Alex-Torres

I think the Poster would find it interesting to see how random people perceive him/her - to know what people think of your appearance when you're walking around outside.

A friend would be likely to say 'you look cool' but an internet user would say how it is, which is very interesting when you think about it. I've never done it though :tongue:

Reply 6

Tiina

Original post by xStaceyy

This. Strangers on the internet will happily tell you that you need to lose weight, or your hair makes you look like you've been dragged backwards through a hedge, or that some of your opinions are really stupid etc. My friends and family would never be that honest to me. Not that I would make one of those threads for myself, I'm too shy :colondollar:

Reply 7

superduper9

Original post by Mastermind007

Don't worry, I'm not asking this question :smile:

Its a fair question. I think its because of couple of reasons.

1. Family and friends may not want to hurt your feelings or overly praise you, hence their views must be taken with a pinch of salt in some cases.

2. Random people, as the poster above said, will be quite upfront and honest, especially if its to do with weight or looks.

3. Sometimes people suffer a loss of confidence for a number of reasons and would like some re-assurance/guidance/tips (I myself have thought about it at one point but decided not to!)

4. Also sometimes, if you go un-noticed and people don't tell you why its happening, there's not many other places you can find out how/why etc.

Not for or against to be honest. Each person is different!

Reply 8

Student#123

Exfoliate your skin with sand paper from your local DIY store. You know, the coarse stuff. The scaring will give your skin a radiant shine that any makeup artist would die for. The best thing of all, it's incredibly cheap. A roll of sand paper costs 99 pence. Sometimes you can double up with duck tape for twice the shine but I tend to only do that for special occasions. :smile:

Reply 9

superduper9

Was thinking along the lines of those insurance ads ...

"For free, impartial advice on your appearance, post a thread on TSR today!" lol

Reply 10

theorangebox

Original post by Mastermind007

Oh, okay. Fair enough.

I guess maybe you've answered it yourself? The 'courage to ask...' asking things is scary. It demonstrates a lack of knowledge on your part and maybe highlights faults of your own the other person may not have noticed. For example, I might be scared that asking someone for help with weight loss would just make them notice my weight more, start tracking my weight loss, tell people I'm insecure...whatever. Anonymity solves that problem.

That probably sums up most the reasons I hate talking about myself to people I know in general, actually, rather than asking advice. I don't like people knowing my insecurities. But if its online, who cares?

Reply 11

superduper9

Original post by Mastermind007

Great points. In the past even I've thought about putting of "those" threads up but I stopped myself because a) was too chicken to hear criticism and b) realised that I didn't care anywhere near as much as I thought haha