Pregnant before marriage. I'm a Muslim.

Think this is the right place to post this. Please do not judge me. I know I've done wrong and I regret it.

Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.

I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.

I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.

I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.

Please just help me.

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Reply 1

x-friends

Post is not about me. It's about a mate.

Reply 2

Faith01

Keep the baby, one mistake is better than two mistakes.

Reply 3

study beats

Original post by x-friends

oooooh nooooooo, look what you have doooonneee !!!! big mistake.........i hope ur parents dont threaten to kill you now

Reply 4

FubbyTucker

Original post by x-friends

Post is not about me. It's about a mate.

Or course it is... :wink:

Reply 5

User1014865

Weigh out the pros and cons, which one outweighs the other?

If pregnancy isn't on the agenda then you know what to do... You needn't tell your family if you're very worried and afraid about the consequences.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 6

therisenmitten

The only advice I can give is don't be pressured into anything:
-Don't let the guy pressure you into having the baby if you don't want to, in the end it's your body and your decision.
-Likewise, don't let shame pressure you into having an abortion if you don't want one.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 7

Skip_Snip

Well, you"r friend" did nothing wrong at all, you"r friend" should realise that it's the 21st century, and having an imaginary friend in the sky shouldn't make you feel judged for your actions.

I hope you"r friend" will be ok :smile:

Reply 8

qasidb

Original post by x-friends

Post is not about me. It's about a mate.

And yet you used personal pronouns in your original post.

Reply 9

rcummins1

At the end of the day, you've admitted yourself that you've sinned in the eyes of your God.

If you abort, you'll sin again but be able to get on with your life as normal.

If you keep it, your family will obviously notice. What may happen after than depends on what sort of people your family are.

If you're family don't support you and the father goes off on tour, you'll be raising the baby completely on your own. Just my thoughts.

Reply 10

User1014865

Original post by Faith01

Keep the baby, one mistake is better than two mistakes.

Her choosing to keep the child may also be a mistake.

Reply 11

tehforum

Lie about not being pregnant to your bf, and abort.

Reply 12

AdvanceAndVanquish

I would suggest that the first thing you think about is whether you are in danger from your family if they find out about any aspect of this. But mostly, I would suggest going to a professional support group, and not an Islamic one. Some of these links may help. Not all are relevant, by some are. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/Student_Health_and_Welfare_Useful_Links_and_Phone_Numbers

Reply 13

Rising_Sun

My first advice is, confirm if you are pregnant or not. In your first post you said "I may be" so first confirm it and then think for next alternatives.

Next if you decide you dont need it then consult your Dr immediately and you may be able to drop it out with out any harm. I am a medical student and am telling you the more delay you do, the less choices or chances you will have.

Reply 14

Ronove

If you do not want the baby, get an abortion. It is as simple as that. It doesn't even sound like you're 'together' with this guy and yet he wants you to have his child? The nerve of that is ridiculous. He can have a kid with someone who wants a kid.

Reply 15

Wbez

Surely it depends how religious you are?

From a personal opinion, if you're not ready for a baby, it is better to abort than anything. Otherwise, it will entirely change your life, you have to consider if you really want that.

Reply 16

ForgetMe

Do you have any feelings for him? Are you 100% sure you are pregnant?

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 17

dartanoir

Personally I would have an abortion but as you're religious maybe consider a private adoption? :smile:

I know that will mean your family will find out but in the eyes of God having an abortion would be seen as worse than pre marital sex. Can't you do that thing where you ask for forgiveness? My knowledge of religion is very limited. But yeah - depending on how strong your faith is I would go with adoption.

Reply 18

TooMuchG

Imagine if you we're that child. Do as you wish.

Reply 19

silverbolt

Original post by x-friends

Post is not about me. It's about a mate.

yeah right.

OP your choice seem to boil down to - keep the baby and possibly risk the wrath of your family (pregnant before marriage, premarital sex and with a non muslim) or abort the child (lying to the father as he wants it)