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Pregnant before marriage. I'm a Muslim.
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Original post by Iron Lady
Because I believe that life begins at conception and the potential life has. I just don't think it's fair to conceive, then disregard the fetus like leftovers.
There's no doubting that a foetus is a human being and that it's alive, but why does that mean it has a right to life?
I'm going to stop posting on the abortion debate, unless anyone wants to continue it on a new thread, because it's derailing the discussion which is supposed to help the OP.
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Back to the OP, you know your family better than us, they may be disappointed, but they may come around and be supportive of whichever decision you take. Have they ever expressed their opinions on premarital sex or abortion?
Perhaps look forward to a few years time, would you be OK with a child out of wedlock, or would you feel guilty about an abortion?
Speak to the father and see how supportive he would be, he needs to take responsibility.
Lastly, adoption could be an option, would you be OK with this?
Best of luck, sorry you're having a hard time.
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Back to the OP, you know your family better than us, they may be disappointed, but they may come around and be supportive of whichever decision you take. Have they ever expressed their opinions on premarital sex or abortion?
Perhaps look forward to a few years time, would you be OK with a child out of wedlock, or would you feel guilty about an abortion?
Speak to the father and see how supportive he would be, he needs to take responsibility.
Lastly, adoption could be an option, would you be OK with this?
Best of luck, sorry you're having a hard time.
Oh Christ, who bloody cares. You have not done anything wrong.
Original post by Fruityrandom
Some advice which i can give is firstly tell your parents, you need to tell them first before you can make a proper decision and then start deciding things after that.
Is the guy willing to convert his religion to Islam for u and the baby?..and killing (aka abortion) a baby in islam is absolutely not allowed -_- so i'm guessing u will have to keep the baby if u were to have one...
Is the guy willing to convert his religion to Islam for u and the baby?..and killing (aka abortion) a baby in islam is absolutely not allowed -_- so i'm guessing u will have to keep the baby if u were to have one...
She can't tell her parents. If she does the outcome is inevitable, she will be disowned. Pre-marital sex is something Muslim parents don't even consider their kids having because of how bad it is, Pregnancy is totally out of the picture.
Original post by Iron Lady
I'm going to stop posting on the abortion debate, unless anyone wants to continue it on a new thread, because it's derailing the discussion which is supposed to help the OP.
Seems like capitulation to me. I don't think Maggie would approve. I think a discussion about the morality of abortion is helpful to the OP.
Original post by Am I Really Here
There's no doubting that a foetus is a human being and that it's alive, but why does that mean it has a right to life?
We're derailing the thread, so this is my last post, unless I'm quoted again.
Just because it's breathing with support of the mother and it's not out of the womb, I still see it as having a right to life because killing someone or something breathing is murder. I don't think it's fair to disregard its rights or liberty. Also where is the line drawn? A baby's brain isn't fully developed still after she or he is born, but killing him/her would rightly be prosecuted, though they are highly dependent on their mother. It's not quite the same thing, but if you're willing to kill a fetus just because it's not out of the womb and dependent on the mother for breath, you might be OK with killing a child just because it's unable to stand up for itself.
OP there are people suggesting that you tell your parents. If you are going to, then TEST THE WATERS OUT FIRST ! Tell your parents that this friend of yours got pregnant without being married, see their reaction. Then say she is a Muslim, then judge their new reaction. Both reactions are going to be different, trust me. If you decide it is safe to proceed further, than tell them it's you. If not then don't tell them and get the abortion.
Why is it so wrong to have a non Muslim boyfriend?
Original post by Sammi_K?
She can't tell her parents. If she does the outcome is inevitable, she will be disowned. Pre-marital sex is something Muslim parents don't even consider their kids having because of how bad it is, Pregnancy is totally out of the picture.
You crazy? No Muslim parents other rural ones would do succha thing to their daughter.
Worst she might get is some beating and shouting and grounding.
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Original post by RedArrow
You crazy? No Muslim parents other rural ones would do succha thing to their daughter.
Worst she might get is some beating and shouting and grounding.
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Worst she might get is some beating and shouting and grounding.
Posted from TSR Mobile
The rural ones would kill their daughter, or throw acid on them !
Worst thing to happen: she will be honor killed - and it does happen. The second worst thing to happen is being disowned.
I'm not crazy. These things are very real. Honor Killing might be way out there, but being disowned is definitely within the picture.
(edited 11 years ago)
as far as i see it you have a few choices:
tell your family, keep the baby
tell your family, get an abortion
dont tell your family, get an abortion
your other option would be marriage and keep the baby, but i guess this would not happen a- quick enough and b- he isnt muslim so might not be possible (im not up to speed on muslim religion ethics about marriage)
really nobody here can decide for you, but if you get an abortion, you will need people around you to support you, ideally your family
you also need to think about if you are ready to bring up a child, as imho its better to abort than for the child to end up in care/being looked after by someone else
tell your family, keep the baby
tell your family, get an abortion
dont tell your family, get an abortion
your other option would be marriage and keep the baby, but i guess this would not happen a- quick enough and b- he isnt muslim so might not be possible (im not up to speed on muslim religion ethics about marriage)
really nobody here can decide for you, but if you get an abortion, you will need people around you to support you, ideally your family
you also need to think about if you are ready to bring up a child, as imho its better to abort than for the child to end up in care/being looked after by someone else
Original post by Iron Lady
Just because it's breathing with support of the mother and it's not out of the womb, I still see it as having a right to life because killing someone or something breathing is murder. I don't think it's fair to disregard its rights or liberty. Also where is the line drawn? A baby's brain isn't fully developed still after she or he is born, but killing him/her would rightly be prosecuted, though they are highly dependent on their mother. It's not quite the same thing, but if you're willing to kill a fetus just because it's not out of the womb and dependent on the mother for breath, you might be OK with killing a child just because it's unable to stand up for itself.
It's murder, but that doesn't make it wrong, and just because killing a being is murder doesn't mean that the being concerned has a right to life.
My view is virtually identical to Peter Singer's so instead of re-typing it I'll do a cut and paste job. Have a read, tell me what you think.
Singer states that arguments for or against abortion should be based on utilitarian calculation which compares the preferences of a woman against the preferences of the foetus. In his view a preference is anything sought to be obtained or avoided; all forms of benefit or harm caused to a being correspond directly with the satisfaction or frustration of one or more of its preferences. Since a capacity to experience the sensations of suffering or satisfaction is a prerequisite to having any preferences at all, and a foetus, up to around eighteen weeks, says Singer, has no capacity to suffer or feel satisfaction, it is not possible for such a fetus to hold any preferences at all. In a utilitarian calculation, there is nothing to weigh against a woman's preferences to have an abortion; therefore, abortion is morally permissible.
Similar to his argument for abortion, Singer argues that newborns lack the essential characteristics of personhood—"rationality, autonomy, and self-consciousness" and therefore "killing a newborn baby is never equivalent to killing a person, that is, a being who wants to go on living."
Original post by Am I Really Here
It's murder, but that doesn't make it wrong, and just because killing a being is murder doesn't mean that the being concerned has a right to life.
My view is virtually identical to Peter Singer's so instead of re-typing it I'll do a cut and paste job. Have a read, tell me what you think.
Singer states that arguments for or against abortion should be based on utilitarian calculation which compares the preferences of a woman against the preferences of the foetus. In his view a preference is anything sought to be obtained or avoided; all forms of benefit or harm caused to a being correspond directly with the satisfaction or frustration of one or more of its preferences. Since a capacity to experience the sensations of suffering or satisfaction is a prerequisite to having any preferences at all, and a foetus, up to around eighteen weeks, says Singer, has no capacity to suffer or feel satisfaction, it is not possible for such a fetus to hold any preferences at all. In a utilitarian calculation, there is nothing to weigh against a woman's preferences to have an abortion; therefore, abortion is morally permissible.
Similar to his argument for abortion, Singer argues that newborns lack the essential characteristics of personhood—"rationality, autonomy, and self-consciousness" and therefore "killing a newborn baby is never equivalent to killing a person, that is, a being who wants to go on living."
My view is virtually identical to Peter Singer's so instead of re-typing it I'll do a cut and paste job. Have a read, tell me what you think.
Singer states that arguments for or against abortion should be based on utilitarian calculation which compares the preferences of a woman against the preferences of the foetus. In his view a preference is anything sought to be obtained or avoided; all forms of benefit or harm caused to a being correspond directly with the satisfaction or frustration of one or more of its preferences. Since a capacity to experience the sensations of suffering or satisfaction is a prerequisite to having any preferences at all, and a foetus, up to around eighteen weeks, says Singer, has no capacity to suffer or feel satisfaction, it is not possible for such a fetus to hold any preferences at all. In a utilitarian calculation, there is nothing to weigh against a woman's preferences to have an abortion; therefore, abortion is morally permissible.
Similar to his argument for abortion, Singer argues that newborns lack the essential characteristics of personhood—"rationality, autonomy, and self-consciousness" and therefore "killing a newborn baby is never equivalent to killing a person, that is, a being who wants to go on living."
1. I see why you would weight the mother's preferences against the child's. I believe this is acceptable in circumstances of rape, as it is non-consenting. However, when couples consent, they are supposed to be: 1) committed to each other and 2) able to take the consequences of their actions. If you create a mess, you tidy it up. If you have sex, you may get pregnant and instead of aborting it because you weren't ready, see it as an inconvenience for a short while, but then as the child gets older it will give you a sense of fulfillment. I don't think the women should be able to create life, then take life away as she pleases.
2. As I've said previously, I don't think abortion should be outlawed, it should be there in certain circumstances. The decision shouldn't be taken lightly, and I would impose a very strict limit on it.
3. I completely disagree with his last point about killing a new born child... Could the same be said for the mentally disabled? That's where we begin to go down a slippery scope and impose what the "right" way of life is onto others. Even if their lives aren't in the preferences of the carers, it doesn't mean their life is worth less.
if you love the guy, then you should at least listen to him and keep the baby
after all when you were with him you knew about the consequences
and if your parents are a problem talk to them they probably listen to you, after all your their daughter and they care about you, you shouldn't be scared and keep hope
anyway if this was an accident you should be happy to be having a baby because later you'll look back and you;ll be glad that you kept the baby
after all when you were with him you knew about the consequences
and if your parents are a problem talk to them they probably listen to you, after all your their daughter and they care about you, you shouldn't be scared and keep hope
anyway if this was an accident you should be happy to be having a baby because later you'll look back and you;ll be glad that you kept the baby
Original post by x-friends
Think this is the right place to post this. Please do not judge me. I know I've done wrong and I regret it.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Hello
Can I ask how old you are?
It's quite easy to say keep the "baby" when you're not going to be subjected to cultural shame and possible aggression (Which goes with all parts of society.) If you don't want it, don't have it. It's not a baby yet and if any god gives a **** he'd rather a fully formed human had a chance at life than a ball of cells that has no feelings on the matter.
Don't let "being a Muslim" influence your decision. Seriously.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by x-friends
Think this is the right place to post this. Please do not judge me. I know I've done wrong and I regret it.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Abortion is just the easy way out. Every action has a consequence. Take responsibility for your actions.
Original post by Chaoshi
"Calling abortion murder because it’s a potential human being is like saying a six year old should have a driver’s license because it’s a potential sixteen year old."
LOL. How will they become a six year old if they're not even given the right to life?
Original post by Sammi_K?
The rural ones would kill their daughter, or throw acid on them !
Worst thing to happen: she will be honor killed - and it does happen. The second worst thing to happen is being disowned.
I'm not crazy. These things are very real. Honor Killing might be way out there, but being disowned is definitely within the picture.
Worst thing to happen: she will be honor killed - and it does happen. The second worst thing to happen is being disowned.
I'm not crazy. These things are very real. Honor Killing might be way out there, but being disowned is definitely within the picture.
They don't believe in the honour killing but they'll probably not speak to me for a while.
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