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Pregnant before marriage. I'm a Muslim.
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Original post by Converse Rocker
If you have to have been pregnant to comment on abortion, pretty much nobody here should have an opinion, male or female.
True actually!
Going to a scholar is the best thing to do in this case. Asking strangers on a public forum will obviously bring out varied opinions and confuse you/your friend even more.
If your friend is genuinely repentful of her sin then first & foremost she should seek forgiveness before anything else.
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If your friend is genuinely repentful of her sin then first & foremost she should seek forgiveness before anything else.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Iron Lady
Just because you don't believe in God, it's not fair to be patronising or belittle her faith.
I think having premarital sex with a non-Muslim belittles her own 'faith'
Original post by x-friends
Think this is the right place to post this. Please do not judge me. I know I've done wrong and I regret it.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Okay, how would your family respond to the idea of you being pregnant? Would they hurt you? If this is the case, I would abort.. and leave the guy out of this. It's a very difficult thing to understand how your muslim family would react but that's the first thing you have to get your head around. If your family would be accepting of it eventually, I would say keep it.
For now, confirm the pregnancy in a public toilet and don't let the guy know until you've come to a decision about what you will do. Don't tell him you're confirming it either. If you abort, tell him you weren't pregnant and if you keep it, tell him you are. He's clearly inconsiderate of your situation and will be pressuring to keep it. It's your body, life and family but you should decide soon
I'm also happy to help you through inbox
Good luck x x x x
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Original post by Hippokrates
Why is it so wrong to have a non Muslim boyfriend?
So the delusions religion can be passed on
Original post by Faith01
Keep the baby, one mistake is better than two mistakes.
how on EARTH does this have any negs?!!
Original post by x-friends
Think this is the right place to post this. Please do not judge me. I know I've done wrong and I regret it.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Just need someone to listen to me and if you could give me advice it would be much appreciated.
I met this guy and have known him for a bit, we're not that close, but we went out a few times. He's in the army and he's not a Muslim and he's been completely honest with me. I did stay over at his base.
I think I might be pregnant and I do not want to keep it. I know abortion is against my religion, and so is pre-marital sex, and I regret it a lot.
He's made it clear he wants to keep it if I am. He's 3 years older than me and feels ready for a child.
I can't have a child right now. I am a Muslim and he isn't and I know I've done wrong and I feel scared and regret it deeply.
Please just help me.
Keep the baby, abortion is haram but first you need to find out if you're really pregnant. Hopefully not, but if you are then you're just going to have to live with it....maybe marry the guy and get him to convert...he did get you pregnant after all. As for your parents, good luck in telling them! can't really help you with that part im afraid, they will go ballistic.
Original post by Skip_Snip
So the delusions religion can be passed on
Original post by Fairy_
Okay, how would your family respond to the idea of you being pregnant? Would they hurt you? If this is the case, I would abort.. and leave the guy out of this. It's a very difficult thing to understand how your muslim family would react but that's the first thing you have to get your head around. If your family would be accepting of it eventually, I would say keep it.
For now, confirm the pregnancy in a public toilet and don't let the guy know until you've come to a decision about what you will do. Don't tell him you're confirming it either. If you abort, tell him you weren't pregnant and if you keep it, tell him you are. He's clearly inconsiderate of your situation and will be pressuring to keep it. It's your body, life and family but you should decide soon
I'm also happy to help you through inbox
Good luck x x x x
Posted from TSR Mobile
For now, confirm the pregnancy in a public toilet and don't let the guy know until you've come to a decision about what you will do. Don't tell him you're confirming it either. If you abort, tell him you weren't pregnant and if you keep it, tell him you are. He's clearly inconsiderate of your situation and will be pressuring to keep it. It's your body, life and family but you should decide soon
I'm also happy to help you through inbox
Good luck x x x x
Posted from TSR Mobile
Either think about your OWN future and where you want to be. Did it involve a child and a half-arsed man?
OR
Make sure he is willing to bring up a child with you and keep the child.
Both can be great lives. But what do YOU want. Did you have other visions, or do you feel like having a child NOW?
Neither are wrong, and only you know what is right for you.
But I must also add: I would be thinking about the child and what kind of life he/she will have.... I personally would choose to abort it since the relationships seemed unstable and I would not be ready to bring up a child.
OR
Make sure he is willing to bring up a child with you and keep the child.
Both can be great lives. But what do YOU want. Did you have other visions, or do you feel like having a child NOW?
Neither are wrong, and only you know what is right for you.
But I must also add: I would be thinking about the child and what kind of life he/she will have.... I personally would choose to abort it since the relationships seemed unstable and I would not be ready to bring up a child.
Firstly, I just want to express how saddened I am by fellow Muslims judging their sister and her faith. How can you feel you have the right to judge? Allah is the supreme judge, yes he's made rules for us to follow but he is also the Merciful One. Have some compassion, have you never sinned in your life?
@Friend of x-friend: you know your family better than anyone. If you or a child of yours were going to be faced with violence then I feel you should consider abortion as in Islam, the life of the living mother takes precedence over the life of the unborn child.
Maybe you consider abortion to spare your parents the pain and stigma from society? Maybe you feel you can't live without having them in your life? It's such a hard decision, I really really feel for you but I can't give you advice in that case since you know the outcome best. Islam doesn't consider an embryo as having a soul until forty days after conception. Make of that what you will.
If you truly don't have feelings for the father, I suggest you don't consider his desire for a child in this case because after all, there wouldn't be any negative consequence for him from a child on the same scale than there would be for you. Definitely talk to him and let him know your decision in a reasonable manner. It sounds like you don't know him very well so perhaps do this in a public place.
I wouldn't advise consulting imams or scholars, they have very little practical experience of these things and only see things from a prescribed and possibly cultural point of view.
Consider the love you would have for your potential baby, you might live with the guilt of abortion forever. If you love the father, it would be so hard to let go of something that would share his features, his smile but the ties to your family might be irrevocably damaged. Make du'a and pray istikhara for comfort and guidance. I can't imagine what decisions I'd make if I was in this situation. PM me if you need to. Salam.
@Friend of x-friend: you know your family better than anyone. If you or a child of yours were going to be faced with violence then I feel you should consider abortion as in Islam, the life of the living mother takes precedence over the life of the unborn child.
Maybe you consider abortion to spare your parents the pain and stigma from society? Maybe you feel you can't live without having them in your life? It's such a hard decision, I really really feel for you but I can't give you advice in that case since you know the outcome best. Islam doesn't consider an embryo as having a soul until forty days after conception. Make of that what you will.
If you truly don't have feelings for the father, I suggest you don't consider his desire for a child in this case because after all, there wouldn't be any negative consequence for him from a child on the same scale than there would be for you. Definitely talk to him and let him know your decision in a reasonable manner. It sounds like you don't know him very well so perhaps do this in a public place.
I wouldn't advise consulting imams or scholars, they have very little practical experience of these things and only see things from a prescribed and possibly cultural point of view.
Consider the love you would have for your potential baby, you might live with the guilt of abortion forever. If you love the father, it would be so hard to let go of something that would share his features, his smile but the ties to your family might be irrevocably damaged. Make du'a and pray istikhara for comfort and guidance. I can't imagine what decisions I'd make if I was in this situation. PM me if you need to. Salam.
Original post by TBBT
how on EARTH does this have any negs?!!
Didn't realise that many people were pro abortion.
Original post by Faith01
Didn't realise that many people were pro abortion.
exactly. thats upsetting
Original post by Faith01
Didn't realise that many people were pro abortion.
There's a difference between pro-choice and pro-abortion.
Instead of giving her her options, including the choice to make an abortion, it was as though that option was just completely ignored (although it was actually more made out to be completely not an option at all). She might not even consider it, but that's her choice.
Well according to Islam, You have sinned ALOT!
Now it's all up to you here is something you'll need to clear to your head as a muslim.
Your family won't be with you on the day of judgement, they may be there but won't be at your side, it's a situation between you and God. Since God is All merciful, the best thing is to repent, repent, repent, you've sinned by pre-martial sex, being with a non-muslim etc etc. Now according how long you're pregnant, you could abort or continue, but remember if you keep you won't be sinning... If you abort you would've again gone against God and went into a make-belief islamic culture.
God's your judge, don't let others judge you! As the Qur'an says, don't follow the crowd, be yourself and keep the foundations of your moral actions as the Qur'an if I assume you're pakistani I advice you reading the Qu'ran in english.
Now it's all up to you here is something you'll need to clear to your head as a muslim.
Your family won't be with you on the day of judgement, they may be there but won't be at your side, it's a situation between you and God. Since God is All merciful, the best thing is to repent, repent, repent, you've sinned by pre-martial sex, being with a non-muslim etc etc. Now according how long you're pregnant, you could abort or continue, but remember if you keep you won't be sinning... If you abort you would've again gone against God and went into a make-belief islamic culture.
God's your judge, don't let others judge you! As the Qur'an says, don't follow the crowd, be yourself and keep the foundations of your moral actions as the Qur'an if I assume you're pakistani I advice you reading the Qu'ran in english.
Original post by Faith01
Didn't realise that many people were pro abortion.
I didn't realise that many people were complete ********s who would pressure a young girl into having a baby, when she's most likely not going to be in a position to give it a good life and it'll most likely completely end whatever life ambitions she currently has for herself.
Think we will call this a day, the OP has had plenty of advice and I think in future it is just going to descend into arguments.
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- Why is it that every time I hear that someone is pregnant I automatically think about
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- Who am I supposed to date/marry?
- Question for Muslim Brothers?
- relationship
- How would most Muslims react if a Muslim girl got married to a non-Muslim?
- islamic potential advice
- Relationship advice needed
- Marraige advice - how to progress things with a girl
- Family falling apart over my sisters boyfriend...
- Being a muslim girl (is sometimes hard)
- hiding a relationship from indian parents :(
- Are your parents separated or still together?
- Muslim marriage divorce
- Has my dua been awnsered? (Question to muslims)
- Muslim Brothers and Sisters
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