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Do guys really love the chase?

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No no, luckily for me I'm gay.

I think Godsize is disgusted because you kind of implied all girls should be like that and all guys should go around getting the emotional rejection. Kind of reminds you of those complete bitches from soaps who go around dressing up looking like tarts who get asked out all the time, play the guy along then dump him. Besides, letting him know you're interested is the first move - we're talking just being completely cold and indifferent and not even mentioning anything here.

Reply 61

john!!

Profesh

Every girl with whom I've been romantically involved pro-actively took it on themselves to make that tentative first overture; so you might hazard a guess as to my own, personal preference.

does this guy really piss anyone else off?

Reply 62

generalebriety

Not at all, john!!!!!!!!!!!. He's quite funny in his sarcasm. Also he makes a good point. You, on the other hand, have done nothing but insult two people. Well done.

Reply 63

grace

generalebriety

i see, no, that wasn't what i was meaning at all. i kind of assumed the first move to be either initially approaching a person with the intention of initiating some sort of romantic liason or actually asking a person out. i just wouldn't like to do either of those things. i certainly don't think all girls should be like that, because there are plenty of guys out there who need the sort of girl who would do that. but it just seems a bit aggressive and man-eaterish to me. though i know that's not always the case.

Reply 64

Misogynist

Its the fact that you'd prefer a guy to put his emotions on the line than yourself, which is selfish, sexist, childish and plain wrong.

Reply 65

john!!

first was mental, second is probably heading that way as well

Reply 66

grace

Godsize

Its the fact that you'd prefer a guy to put his emotions on the line than yourself, which is selfish, sexist, childish and plain wrong.

i would expect a guy to ask me out only after i'd put my own emotions on the line and made it clear how i felt about him. i just wouldn't take someone seriously if they asked me out on a whim, and if we're talking about someone just approaching you in a social setting or whatever, that's not so much putting your emotions on the line as it is putting your pride on the line.

and no, i'm not sexist but unlike many people these days i do believe men and women have different roles. i think they are equally valid roles, but are different in many cases.

i'm sorry if it sounded as if i was being a cold-hearted bitch, actually i'm not at all :smile:

Reply 67

Misogynist

I couldnt explain my emotions better than generalelbriety just did.

Reply 68

Nutter

This issue about girls being shy and therefore not taking the first step in approaching the guy is something that I can completely appreciate and understand, but please realise that guys are human beings as well and a significant number also DO feel shy/nervous to approach a girl, and the embarrassment/trauma of rejection is just as deeply felt. Yet most guys eventually soldier on because society considers it an obligation of the male species to undertake this responsibility, and I recognize that this will take a very long time to change, but I do feel that we need to move on. Girls shouldn't feel that they're any inferior if they have to ask the guy first, because they're not! We're just in a world where the differences in the roles of a particular gender are greying and we should therefore not merely selectively decide on what roles we want to keep, and what we want to abandon.

I hope I made sense there.

Reply 69

generalebriety

Nutter

We're just in a world where the differences in the roles of a particular gender are greying and we should therefore not merely selectively decide on what roles we want to keep, and what we want to abandon.

I agree with you, except for "we're just...". I think the phrase is "we're apparently in a word where...". [Edit: also "world" :smile:

]

Many women want everything. (Not all, I know, but I have to add this stupid parenthesis if I don't want :eek:

negative rep :eek:

from idiots who misunderstand me and think neg rep is a smack on the hand, when all it is is a method of starting an argument without them having to say anything or even giving their name.) They want monetary equality in work even though some of them take on tasks they're not as good at as men; they want equality in relationships even though it's guys who ask women out and take them out on dates and pay for them; they want equality round the house whether it's the guy who works or not.

My mum used to scream at me and my dad for never helping with the housework, claiming we were sexist pigs. I told her that my dad was the one earning the money since he was qualified and worked and she wasn't and didn't, and I was the one earning qualifications in school and working my arse off at home on coursework and school work, and that if she didn't do housework she would in fact be living off my dad for the next few years and then me once I was employed.

Some of you don't know you're born. You want the perks of being a man, the perks of being a woman, and the responsibilities of neither.

Some of you. :smile:

Reply 70

Misogynist

Men are under no obligation to ask a girl out just because society has shoved the role down their throats. Men are just as shy. Sometimes girls should take the plunge, thats all I want.

Reply 71

john!!

grow some balls
thats what being a man is all about !

youll look back and think "ahh I was so embarrased asking the girl out in school, good times"

Reply 72

Nutter

john!!

grow some balls
thats what being a man is all about !

It is precisely ignorant, self-indulgent people like you that are contributing to the status quo, with unfair and ridiculous assertions being made to generalise the role of a being.

Reply 73

generalebriety

john!!

grow some balls
thats what being a man is all about !

youll look back and think "ahh I was so embarrased asking the girl out in school, good times"

Alternatively, some evil bitch will string you along for a year or so having twigged that you like her, you'll one day ask her out, she'll play hard-to-get but accept in the end, you'll be absolutely smitten, she'll use you for everything you've got and break your heart at the end of it.

If there was real equality of the sexes, you would know that girl wasn't interested because she didn't ask you out. Stringing someone along wouldn't actually be possible.

Also, Nutter is completely right. Every person is different. Male and female are not separate sections of the human race. They're a distinction between people who have penises and people who have vaginas, for sexual purposes only - it's got to the stage, finally, where people realise that past this sexual state men and women are supposed to be equal. Some men are good at typically "masculine" tasks, some are good at "feminine" tasks. They are only called masculine and feminine traits because of our ancestors. The words themselves drag up stereotypes of women not being able to drive cars and men not being able to make cakes. Now, if you think shaking off heartbreak is a typically masculine thing to do, fine - you do that, if it makes you feel like you've "grown some balls".

Personally, I think "Do guys really love the chase?" is best answered with "Yes, guys love the chase about as much as a dog likes being held on a lead a metre away from a bone and left there for weeks".

Reply 74

Jelkin

This is all getting very heated!

Firstly, nicely said, Nutter. [Does anyone ever feel strange about calling people by their TSR identitites? "nicely said, Nutter"...]

Secondly, I think it's a shame that in this day and age people of both sexes can't be honest about the way they feel about people without it being such a humiliating thing if the other person doesn't feel the same way. My boyfriend told me that he liked me, but that he didn't expect me to return the feelings - in reply I said that I did like him but I wasn't sure I was ready for a new relationship right then [which, before you all get uppity, was one of the reasons I didn't tell him I liked him first]. So we went out as friends, and it progressed nicely and naturally! I'm not keen on all this "first date, second date, first kiss, third date.....sex, love, marriage" sort of formalised ritual that people seem to go through.

To those of you who are very passionately pro-women asking men out, do your feelings extend to marriage proposal? I wish that mine did, really, but I would just really like to be proposed to. It's one of those things you think about from when you're a little girl. Sorry *waits for abuse*

Reply 75

1013

Jelkin

Secondly, I think it's a shame that in this day and age people of both sexes can't be honest about the way they feel about people without it being such a humiliating thing if the other person doesn't feel the same way. My boyfriend told me that he liked me, but that he didn't expect me to return the feelings -
To those of you who are very passionately pro-women asking men out, do your feelings extend to marriage proposal? I wish that mine did, really, but I would just really like to be proposed to. It's one of those things you think about from when you're a little girl. Sorry *waits for abuse*

It's not that I don't think women should ask guys out. I just personally wouldn't as I like to play hard to get. It's the oldest trick in the book but seems to work for me. If you come on to a guy, he doesn't have to work ofr it so it's not as exciting for either of you. Who want's somwthing you can have with no effort at all? I think I would feel the same if I was a boy - I still would want to play the game. It's half the fun! That said - I think it's generally easier for girls to do the seduction routine.

No way would I ask a guy to marry me. I would assume that if he didn't ask then he didn't want to. P:lus - would that mean I had to buy my own ring? No thanks.

Reply 76

HearTheThunder

No, it's bloody depressing.

People should stop messing around and just ask each other, regardless of what gender they are. Life's too short for games.

Reply 77

Fluent in Lies

My God I am never going to get a girlfriend.

Reply 78

Né Stig

grace

i just wouldn't make the first move. that's all there is to it. the way i see it, if i'm doing my job right i shouldn't have to. i haven't yet, and don't particularly intend to...ever :smile:

This is slightly arrogant. Even if I'm useless at requesting a date, I know that it should work both ways. I'm not great at that, but I understand my actions as being not very masculine. But this comment is just pathetic! "if i'm doing my job correctly"! my gosh - you certainly need to get out of fairyland.
It almost sounds desperate.

I'm not sure you realise that a woman can ask a man out withstanding her pride.

Reply 79

1013

HearTheThunder

No, it's bloody depressing.

People should stop messing around and just ask each other, regardless of what gender they are. Life's too short for games.

No, the games are what makes it fun and exciting! Who would want a world where you go up to a guy and go 'hi, i like you' and he goes 'hi, i like you too - lets go out' and then you go skipping merrily off into the sunshine. Boring! Plus games add to all the sexual chemistry and tension.