Trouble with my boyfriend

Hello TSRians,
I have a HUGE dilemma. So there's this guy, that has like me since primary school, and we lost contact for over 5 years. But Fate has brought as back together to meet during college, which was completely random. He's never had a gf, I'm his first. He is, obviously, very good looking, and has a pure heart. It's inevitable nearly all the girls want him, but he chose me. We've been together its been nearly 7 months now, but there have been mnay problems.
Ok so, his family are very religious (well I dont think so, more cultural than religious, they seem to get it mixed up, but thats another story) I wasn't aware of this. We both have the same religious background but i guess me and my family (mainly me) are not practising.
His family are strictly against relationships and free mixing with the opposite gender. So half way our relationship, we got caught. He's got a sibling that attends our college, who is the biggest ungrateful snitch i've ever met. She always snitches on him and whatever he does. This lead to a big issue as his mum contacted mine, and made a very big deal out of it. The obviously defamed me and made me look so bad to my mum, saying how I've 'ruined' her perfect son and im leading him to hell etc etc. Turns out his mother is VERY OVER PROTECTIVE. The things this lady done to ruin my life... well I could go on, but yeah whatever. I hate her, in fact, his whole family.
But my boyfriend is literally crazy for me, I tried leaving him in respect of his mother but he didnt care. He was so persistant of getting back with me he was ruining his education as well as distracting me from mine. I mean, it was hard seeing him at that state, he eve tried drugs to get over me but it was impossible. My feelings were so strong for him and still are.
So i gave it another shot, we got back, but this time, on the low. No one, not even our friends, knew about us. We kept it going for another 2 months without anyone know, never being seen in ublic either. But eventually, we made it obvious. Tragically, we got caught again. His mother, again contacted mine. My mother wasn't taking any sh*t, so things got really rough between our family and his. We are still together. My family has advised me to leave him, as there will be no possible future with him. I take my relationships very seriously and only stick with someone i know i will be able to have a future with. We're both crazy for each other, and we can't seem to leave one another.
His idea was that as soon as we both graduate from uni, we both get married and move away from everyone, go to another country and start our life there. As we've graduated we can then get a job and become financially stable and so on.
But like, I;m not sure if it's a good idea.we have thought it through, we just have to wait 3 years down the line. and for the time being carry on how we are right now. Keeping our relationship a secret. I trust him very much, he trusts me too. If he wasn't serious about this, i dont think he would go through all that. There was so much more that has happened between his family, all of which will be too much to type.
So, what do I do?

Reply 1

HashimKF

IMO his family are ignorant *******s. It's his life not theirs. I was in a secret relationship and tbh it was the main reason it didn't work out. I wouldn't be as extreme as wanting to move country though, unless you don't actually like where you are living now. I do think he should confront his family. If they have any respect for him they should hear him out. If not, good riddance to them.

Reply 2

goblins took me

if you love him keep at it, speak to his family and show them your not what they think you are, take it slow and good luck only time, talk and good manners can change they way people think, dont fight or argue with them, just show them you wont give up on him and if they have ever loved someone theyll understand.
(if you don't love him the walk away before you hurt him, but im assuming you do and thats why you keep trying)
in the end they will have to adapt or they will lose him, because they cannot force you apart, thats simply the way it is.
when i first starting going out with my bf i didnt tell my parents thinking they would be against it but once they found out after a while they realised they would just have to accept us as a couple.
good luck :smile:

Reply 3

slacker07906

It's your life. Do what you want! No one can stop you being with anyone!

Reply 4

AeneasBK

Point out to his mum that its her overprotectiveness and pressure that's ruining his life and she can deny it all she wants but when she's old and dying alone from her son as he's left her negative influences out of his life, she'll regret never having compromised.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by goblins took me

I was always calm with his mother, but she went to extreme lengths. She, somehow got my houseline number, contacted my mother and bad mouthed me so much. She went to my neighbourhood and B******d about me toothers talking so much ****!!!! My dad passed away like 2 months ago, she was so insensitive and inconsiderate, she had no idea what me and my family were going through, yet still she made such a big argument out of it.

Well sadly, i have broken up with him. My mother told me to, because she said it will never work out, because of his mum. And i can't upset my mother, for her i'd sacrifice my life.
With his mum, she's got her husband for moral support, and my mother doesnt have that anymore. so the last thing i'd want to do is upset her.
Obviously, HE is very upset with this. He's gone half crazy, and is not willing to give me up. he is doing whatever to get me back! It's crazy because he's just ruining his education.

Reply 6

BANS2012

I thought you were a couple of school kids/college goers until I got to the part about your both graduating. In this case more so, you are both adults do what you please! his family sound flipping crazy!

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Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by BANS2012

exactly! We are adults! His family treat him as if he's still 12.

Reply 8

littlehobbit

Original post by Anonymous

Obviously, HE is very upset with this. He's gone half crazy, and is not willing to give me up. he is doing whatever to get me back! It's crazy because he's just ruining his education.

Surely its up to him to now speak to his own parents. I think you've done the right thing walking away now, especially to support your mum, that's very selfless of you. As for the boy, however 'crazy' he is going, he needs to understand why you've made the decision and if he really wants it to work, clearly his parents are the first people he needs to approach.

Reply 9

goblins took me

Original post by Anonymous

Its a shame but speak to him and try and make him understand your position, if it doesn't work it will be up to his mum to see what she has done,
i'm sorry to hear about your dad and i'd say you were right to stick by your mum, family first!
you can only hope the best for the future that maybe his family will see reason, if not its his move, you've already taken too many chances.
all the best :smile: