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I am angry at my ex for leaving me.. but why ?

I met my ex about a year ago and we both fancied the pants of eachother right from the start.

We met abroad and are quite a substantial distance apart back at home. We decided to do LDR this year seeing eachother about once a month and spending hours on Skype each day.

I adore her, but have always known at the end of the year (now and she's graduating) that it could change. The last few months have been absolute agony (while together), shes been unsure about what to do - one minute saying she'll travel for years after graduation, the next saying she'll move to me upon graduation.

We're both early 20's and she finally decided recently that she feels too young to be tied down and wished she met me when she was older and hence broke up with me.

I could and regret not leaving this relationship earlier as I feel it may have come to this. However I've dealt with such intense levels of uncertainty and anxiety the last few months by sticking at her side in the hope she would stay and now I feel absolutely gutted and at a loss. Almost a sense of because of what i've dealt with emotionally I feel she owes me (I know it's weird - and it doesn't literally work that way).

I spent the first few weeks dealing with it amicably and then she started making plans to do all the things we were gunna do this summer with other people. I lost my rag and went crazy when i found these things out.

I don't know what to do. It's so weird, because obviously i don't want her to be with me if she's unhappy she could be doing something else but I can't stop being angry at her for leaving me after I put so much into this relationship emotionally.

Can someone with experience please tell me why i'm angry even though I seem to see that this is the best case scenario ?

Reply 1

nespix

I can't give you advice from the perspective of a relationship but something similar happened to me with a friend. I had been friends with someone for 14 years before they completely cut me out of the blue, after having been so close. At first I was confused, then angry at the fact they would say they would make excuses about stuff like me being too far away and stuff but it was fine with other people and now I don't particularly care. I think it's their loss more than anything. Recently they asked me for a favour and I didn't bother to reply because they were just using me.

If she says she should have been with you when she'll be older, she will be the one who looks back with regret by the time you will have moved on.

Hope you can move on OP and feel better soon.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

Louise4

I really am not experienced with this but I guess it's just part of the "grieving" process...not sure if that's the politically correct term for it, but I'm sure it'll get easier to manage :smile: