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Why am I so pathetic

Well I have a bad case of anxiety and possible OCD with have caused food issues and I just can't manage my weight at all. I'm a little wuss who can't even deal with being in a cold house, feeling drunk, being hungover, sleep deprivation or going hungry for more than a few hours. I can't work for more than an hour at a time without getting stressed through the roof. I keep having panic attacks in work and I feel like screaming. I'm a mummy's boy still living at home because I was worried I'd have to live on beans on toast because I can't cook yet and I ened mummy to cook for me like s elfish rbat. I need central heating and water and electricity. I need the computer, I'm basi9cally attached to this. I need food. I eat when I'm down, always have, tried to break it, never ever works. I can't drink in case I go do something stupid like run away. I get tired really easily.
I get bullied for being such a pushover and whingey ****, I used to be called Mona the Vampire in school because I must have whined about everything. I always whine. I live on Merseyside and I just don#'t fit in as a Northerner, msot people here can put up with hell and not let out a sobs tory.
WHiebkibjeiherknjrjfekjyjfgr

I have a girlfriend how the hell do I have a girlfriend most nights I sit at home and fap. Ha explain that. She thins the world of me as I do for her but she can't see that I am a mess. Or she can and she's still determined to fix it/. I don't think I can ever be fixed.
I'm in a happy mood when I've got something to play with or someone to enetrtain me but I'm a needy **** and can't do the same for myself. God damn it 20 YEARS OF BEING A NEEDY ****

There are days when I am worried I'm going to become a rapist or a paedo or murderer or that I will just fail at life. I don't have high hopoes for myself. All my friends have grown up but I rekcon the momeent I move out I will be destroyed. Absolutely destroyed. Ha.
I've been through therapy for 3 ****ing years and still it's not clicking. I must just be an idiot.

Seriously why am I so pathetic and how the hell do I chan ge this. I'm depressed about being so weak and having no balls
Go to your GP. Soon.
Reply 2
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Riku
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2
Heyu I'm feeling better today :smile: I can only assume that a 'bad day' for me is actually depression and a good day is a normal.
If it makes any more sense I've been on Fluoxetine for 6 months now.

It's still really weird how much everyone else has got on with their lvies and it's like I'm coming out of some hole in my head which I can't remember when I went into
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 3
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Riku
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Bumping this before I go to remind people that if you ever need to say this to an anon student forum, you should probably go and see a GP because you're depressed and don't know it.

Take care guys. :smile:
See your GP
Reply 5
Avatar for Cinnie
Cinnie
13
This is coming from a good place and I only want the best for ya :wink:

Riku please please sever this dependency you have on analyzing and justifying your personality all the time on the internet. Log out of thestudentroom and turn off your computer. You've spent enough time overanalyzing your life on this forum - it is time so start actually living and doing things. You are needy because you feel like you need acceptance and validation by other people. Just accept yourself for who you are, be your own person and do what you want to do - you are a young guy and you have all the freedom in the world. Experience things and live xxx

Edit: We all have flaws Riku. Every single one of us has things that we don't like about ourselves. It shouldn't stop you from living x
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 6
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Riku
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Original post by Cinnie
This is coming from a good place and I only want the best for ya :wink:

Riku please please sever this dependency you have on analyzing and justifying your personality all the time on the internet. Log out of thestudentroom and turn off your computer. You've spent enough time overanalyzing your life on this forum - it is time so start actually living and doing things. You are needy because you feel like you need acceptance and validation by other people. Just accept yourself for who you are, be your own person and do what you want to do - you are a young guy and you have all the freedom in the world. Experience things and live xxx

Edit: We all have flaws Riku. Every single one of us has things that we don't like about ourselves. It shouldn't stop you from living x


Duly noted Cinnie :smile:

Thank you

Spoiler



:hugs:
Original post by Riku
Bumping this before I go to remind people that if you ever need to say this to an anon student forum, you should probably go and see a GP because you're depressed and don't know it.

Take care guys. :smile:


Thanks for this. I feel similar to your original post fairly often, mainly not feeling able to cope with 'normal' things. I also have OCD and would like to know if you think this is due to it or something else?
How are you doing now? It sounds like you're in a much better place than when you started this thread and I'm happy to hear that - if you ever need anything, though...! :smile:
Reply 8
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Riku
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Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for this. I feel similar to your original post fairly often, mainly not feeling able to cope with 'normal' things. I also have OCD and would like to know if you think this is due to it or something else?
How are you doing now? It sounds like you're in a much better place than when you started this thread and I'm happy to hear that - if you ever need anything, though...! :smile:


I am ok thank you. Much better than where I was when I made this thread but still some way to go yet. But I'm going to make a decision for the better tonight :smile:
It may well be. I think this thread was more a moment of depression/anxiety for me. As I said I was on Fluoxetine at the time I made this. But OCD can have similarly frustrating and demoralising effects.
I really hope you can find happiness soon even though you have to cope with OCD, always remember there's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and similar interventions e'd there's both a Mental Health Support Society here on TSR, as well as an OCD Support Society specifically (or there was anyway?)

All the best,
Riku :hugs:
Original post by Riku
I am ok thank you. Much better than where I was when I made this thread but still some way to go yet. But I'm going to make a decision for the better tonight :smile:
It may well be. I think this thread was more a moment of depression/anxiety for me. As I said I was on Fluoxetine at the time I made this. But OCD can have similarly frustrating and demoralising effects.
I really hope you can find happiness soon even though you have to cope with OCD, always remember there's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and similar interventions e'd there's both a Mental Health Support Society here on TSR, as well as an OCD Support Society specifically (or there was anyway?)

All the best,
Riku :hugs:


Thank you for your help :smile: I sometimes poke my nose into the MH Support Society, maybe it's worth me having more of a look.
I'm glad that you're feeling better than you were, of course recovering from things like this is never fast but I'd hate to see anyone feeling like you originally did :hugs:
Original post by Riku
But I'm going to make a decision for the better tonight :smile:

Without being extremely nosy, can I ask what this decision is? :smile:
Reply 11
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0907714
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Riku it could be that Fluoxetine is no longer working for you. Let me tell you why I think this from my experience and research. From what you have written I have quite the same problems with anxiety. And tbh, see all the things you are writing, its probably just the anxiety making you worried, and if you weren't anxious then you wouldn't even give a sht about all your worries :biggrin: .

I'm on Fluoxetine 20mg and have been for 2 months, and I'm pretty sure it isn't working for me. I thought because I wasn't as bad as I was, it must mean it is working (which it is to a certain extent, I don't want to commit sudoku anymore :biggrin: ).

On my second week of taking the antidepressant I felt numbness in my head and I felt like a whole new person, really sure of myself and confident like never before (I have always kind of faked it to make it, until I didn't make it and knew I needed help haha), no anxiety or anything, no anger, frustration, acting out like a kid like stretching my face or rolling on the couch (Anxiety makes me act weird, makes me think I'm schizo sometimes, it could be a whole cocktail of mental health problems) :P . When I was feeling like this I was even considering that I could succeed in life, with no doubt. Its hard to imagine unless you experience it.

But after that my anxiety came back and has been back for over a month, I had started a job as a care assistant in a care home (quite an emotionally challenging job) and quit it 2 days later because I couldn't handle the anxiety of what the job duties entail. However, if the medicine was still working and numbed all the anxiety then perhaps I would still be working there.

It makes me think, could it be that my anxiety I've had for my whole life has made me depressed? Probably. If Fluoxetine has treated the depression but I still have the anxiety, if antidepressants are supposed to hide the depression but not really deal with it, then it makes sense that I could have an anxiety disorder which caused depression.

Or is it the depression which causes the anxiety, who knows that's the fun hue hue hue

It also gives me comfort that I know I have experienced a brief period of time where I had all my anxiety numbed by this drug. If I want to feel like that all the time, which is what I think is what 'normal mentally health' people have, then maybe I need to switch up my antidepressants or change.
(edited 9 years ago)
Riku, it sounds to me your suffering from pure-o ocd and anxiety, i have the same symptoms as you prozac doesn't often work on Pure-O ocd I have to have 150-200mg a day sertraline to control my symptoms, you need to speak to your psych team.
Original post by Cinnie
This is coming from a good place and I only want the best for ya :wink:

Riku please please sever this dependency you have on analyzing and justifying your personality all the time on the internet. Log out of thestudentroom and turn off your computer. You've spent enough time overanalyzing your life on this forum - it is time so start actually living and doing things. You are needy because you feel like you need acceptance and validation by other people. Just accept yourself for who you are, be your own person and do what you want to do - you are a young guy and you have all the freedom in the world. Experience things and live xxx

Edit: We all have flaws Riku. Every single one of us has things that we don't like about ourselves. It shouldn't stop you from living x


This hit home to me. Thank you. Especially the bold bit, I overanalyse and pick myself apart and try and understand why I'm like this, why I'm 'worthless'.

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