Do guys like socially awkward girls?

Hi. I have a question for the guys of tsr and girls too if you have ever been in my position.
First of all I'm 20 and never had a boyfriend before. I've liked guys but because I'm quite socially awkward I find it difficult to approach them. I have social anxiety and general anxiety as well as physical disabilities(nothing major, just have auto immune disease) anyway this leaves me feeling disconnected from people. When I get invited to a party I need to drink a bit to be able to loosen up so to speak but because of my illness and meds I get really drunk very quickly on hardly anything and end up making a complete fool out of myself. I'm wondering if guys will ever like me because they won't see the real me this way and if im in a non party environment then I just clam up and retreat into myself and avoid eye contact. Guys what do you think of girls like this?
Thanks.

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Reply 1

Platinum Mech

I used to be very socially awkward and often anxious, but I'm a lot less socially awkward and anxious these days, as I've learnt how to, at least to a large extent, overcome those defects. I don't think I would be put off a girl just because she was socially awkward and anxious, but I don't see where the harm would be in you learning how to be less so. It could be that there are guys who like you, but interpret your "clamming up" as a sign that you're not interested. I could give you a lot of tips on overcoming both social awkwardness and anxiety, if you would like to hear them. :hugs:

Reply 2

hollywoodbudgie

Trust me lady, a man would prefer a quiet nice pretty girl like yourself than an 'omgz bbbz' constant loud mouth woman. You're just going to have a harder time finding someone unless you can overcome your anxiety though.

Reply 3

MrsCumberbatch88

You'll be treasured by the right guy because you are a pearl among swine :smile:

Reply 4

jamboogy

At prom, me and a mate approached this girl just to see what was going on... she was very cold so we just moved on.

If you don't try and overcome your fears then nothing good will come of it.

Leave your comfort zone!

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I personally do like socially awkward girls, though only cause I can relate to them as I'm socially anxious myself, not sure what other guys are like but I do know some like shy girls, I think generally shy girls are much more likely to get into relationships than shy guys.

Reply 6

silverbolt

Original post by Anonymous

tbh - no i wouldnt date you - i have dated socially awkward people in the past and its a pain, trying to get them to interact, they follow you around and you have to constantly make sure they are not getting lost in the crowd. I decided that from now on - confident, easy integrating, social women only.

A socially awkward male might suit you - but then how do either of you get into relationship when neither of you dares speak to the other.

Oh and your auto immune disease wouldnt bother as long as it didnt have too much of a detrimental affect on the relationship. You not drinking (and i advise you stop) isnt an issue.

Reply 7

silverbolt

Original post by hollywoodbudgie

You know the OTT uber loud is an extreme though?

Though yes that is unattractive as well

Original post by MrsCumberbatch88

You'll be treasured by the right guy because you are a pearl among swine :smile:

really? and just how do you figure that someone who is in essence a female Raj from BBT is a pearl amongst swine?

Reply 8

Joker :)

Original post by hollywoodbudgie

You speak for all men now? You have absolutely no idea do you?

In the real world it is the loud mouthed good looking girls who get more than their fair share of guys. Even the loud mouthed not so good looking girls get a decent share.

The socially awkward pretty girls only get the guys who have the guts to approach them and can successfully navigate their social awkwardness (i.e. not many guys). The socially awkward ugly girls effectively get no guys approaching them.

Reply 9

LukeM90

I dont really think its a problem as long as you was not antisocial/distant from the guy once you knew him better, because it'd suck having to be drunk all the time lol.

That being said I quite like more quiet girls, my current girlfriend is like the opposite of me in that regard I talk to jus about anyone about anything lol,

I think there is too many people in the world for you not to find someone, the hardest part for you will be making the initial first step of meeting someone, that being said many social settings and friends of friends can help, once you make that connection be pro-active if the guy isn't, ask to hang or go see a film, and if you cant do that in person do it by email/text/facebook whatever lol

It is harder for people who are a bit distant but its not impossible, one of my mates never starts conversations, never initiates anything for that matter yet shes done alright for herself and got a nice boyfriend so I'm sure you can too!

Reply 10

Iron Lady

Original post by hollywoodbudgie

Yes, I agree... when you put it like that.

I'm very socially awkward, however there is a balance between that and the loud mouth.

Reply 11

Cll_ws

I can be a little socially awkward myself, but I find that when another person is as well I find it a lot easier to talk to them and I then become the person trying to make conversation. If the other person was a girl then we'd be off to a good start, because i'd be over my awkwardness pretty quickly, and i'm happy to give them a bit time because I know the feeling!

Reply 12

SnoochToTheBooch

I don't think that's necessarily enough to make a decision on, I mean, there are socially awkward nice people and socially awkward idiots too, it doesn't have to define a person. It doesn't even have to be a permanent part of thid person's personality either, 2 or 3 years can do a lot to a person.

Reply 13

LukeM90

Also just to point out I'm quite outgoing and talkative and I didnt have a "propper" girlfriend till I was 20 so I wouldn't worry about the age, if anything it'l do more good than harm

Reply 14

Millie228

Enough with these threads already starting with "do boys like..." followed by a general negative trait. If you don't like something about yourself, change it.

Being shy won't necessarily stand in a girl's way, especially as guys usually do the approaches. But being socially "awkward", meaning untrained, is a negative. You might be able to work around it if you keep yourself attractive enough but it is nevertheless a negative. Although appearance matter, personality matters too, and if you aren't able to relax around a man, you won't be able to show your personality. Every attempt to turn a conversation into a flirtatious one will be drowned by the difficulty of simply participating in the conversation.
Nobody can give you an answer of whether it would make or break your chances of a boyfriend. Many guys on here will say it's fine, but then again, you want a boyfriend you want, not just anyone who will settle for you. The point is that you want to be the best YOU you can be, not just find out whether someone is willing to tolerate your negative stuff.
So work on being more social, get out of your comfort zone, meet more people and work on being social.

Reply 15

hollywoodbudgie

Original post by Joker :)

You speak for all men now? You have absolutely no idea do you?

In the real world

I've always wondered what the real world is like, seeing as I live on a planet known as TSR in a galaxy far far away :rolleyes:

the loud mouthed good looking girls who get more than their fair share of guys. Even the loud mouthed not so good looking girls get a decent share.

The socially awkward pretty girls only get the guys who have the guts to approach them and can successfully navigate their social awkwardness (i.e. not many guys). The socially awkward ugly girls effectively get no guys approaching them.

Yes, an how long does a relationship with your 'loud mouthed good looking girl' last in comparison to a 'quiet good looking girl'? :sigh:

Even 'ugly loud mouthed' girls get attention because they seem easier to get in bed with and sometimes that's all a guy wants.
That's nothing to do with having a decent long lasting relationship.

And yes, a socially awkward ugly girl won't get much male attention, however, that's more to do with being 'ugly' as you put it though.

Original post by silverbolt

You know the OTT uber loud is an extreme though?

Though yes that is unattractive as well

It's not that uncommon at all :nah:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Thanks for your responses so far. The thing is my illnesses make me look tired and pale as well as feel it! So that's probably where my anxieties stem from. I try to make an effort with my appearance, dressing to suit my shape and putting on makeup but not too much. However sometimes I don't have too much energy to do so in which case I get more anxious and start exhibiting introverted behaviour like looking down and playing on my phone ECT, anything to avoid looking at people, especially guys. I wouldn't say I'm butt ugly but sometimes I feel it due to my illness. Therefore the getting drunk thing makes me more confident and if I do or say anything silly or weird I don't worry about being laughed at, cause they know I'm drunk. I don't want to get a reputation for being a drunk though because I think alcohol is absolutely foul and I hate all the accidents and general grogginess I feel

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

The thing is my illnesses make me look tired and pale as well as feel it! So that's probably where my anxieties stem from. I try to make an effort with my appearance, dressing to suit my shape and putting on makeup but not too much. However sometimes I don't have too much energy to do so in which case I get more anxious and start exhibiting introverted behaviour like looking down and playing on my phone ECT, anything to avoid looking at people, especially guys. I wouldn't say I'm butt ugly but sometimes I feel it due to my illness. Therefore the getting drunk thing makes me more confident and if I do or say anything silly or weird I don't worry about being laughed at, cause they know I'm drunk. I don't want to get a reputation for being a drunk though because I think alcohol is absolutely foul and I hate all the accidents and general grogginess I feel