You and your partners parents: A relationship doomed to fail?
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I struggle with parents too. I don't think they ever dislike me, I just never ever know what to say to them. Our conversations are always really awkward. I see friends around me who are all chummy with their boyfriend's mum. They sometimes even text her and get invited on holidays and family events. I have no idea how they get to that stage. I didn't think I was an awkward person whatsoever, but apparently I am with boyfriends' parents...Or maybe I've been unlucky. I went round to meet my boyfriend's parents a few weeks ago...his mum was luckily the person keeping the conversation going but I tried my hardest to chat casually back. I feel like whenever I answer the mum's questions, she's content...but when I try to continue by chatting about something, she seems to get so bored and you can visibly see her losing interest. It's kinda horrible. Well, that's mainly a description of my last boyfriend's mum.
I don't think she hated me though, she bought me birthday and christmas presents. It was sweet and made me feel more welcome, but strange because in person we barely ever chatted.
I was left alone with my new boyfriend's dad for a couple minutes. It was so awkward. He's a shy guy, and we have absolutely nothing in common. What on earth do you ask a 60 year old retired police officer who is still into clubbing and motorbikes... It seemed anything I would say he would laugh and say "yeah" and that would be it. Eventually, he started talking about the weather. I died.
So with me it's not so much about them not liking me...It's about me never gaining a proper relationship with them because it's always so awkward and distant.
I don't think she hated me though, she bought me birthday and christmas presents. It was sweet and made me feel more welcome, but strange because in person we barely ever chatted.
I was left alone with my new boyfriend's dad for a couple minutes. It was so awkward. He's a shy guy, and we have absolutely nothing in common. What on earth do you ask a 60 year old retired police officer who is still into clubbing and motorbikes... It seemed anything I would say he would laugh and say "yeah" and that would be it. Eventually, he started talking about the weather. I died.
So with me it's not so much about them not liking me...It's about me never gaining a proper relationship with them because it's always so awkward and distant.
My boyfriend gets on well with my parents. They always welcome him with open arms, and my grandparents do as well. But I live at home, so he sees them more. We all sit in the same room together when he comes round.
I only actually met his Dad over three years after we got together, and that was at a funeral. It's nothing to do with OUR relationship though, because my BF doesn't see him that much more often. He probably saw him 4 times over the course of the time we were together, once including the time I was there, and the other times were like when he popped in on Christmas Day or something and I couldn't go because I was busy with my family.
His Mum, on the other hand, I do get on with. Again, I don't see her much, because I live at home and I can't stay at my BF's when she's there because she has the bed and there's only one spare couch. But she's always picking things up for me from the shop (she's filled most of my wardrobe actually lol) and we text every now and then. I think, as the awkward person that I am, that's as good as I could ever hope for really!
I only actually met his Dad over three years after we got together, and that was at a funeral. It's nothing to do with OUR relationship though, because my BF doesn't see him that much more often. He probably saw him 4 times over the course of the time we were together, once including the time I was there, and the other times were like when he popped in on Christmas Day or something and I couldn't go because I was busy with my family.
His Mum, on the other hand, I do get on with. Again, I don't see her much, because I live at home and I can't stay at my BF's when she's there because she has the bed and there's only one spare couch. But she's always picking things up for me from the shop (she's filled most of my wardrobe actually lol) and we text every now and then. I think, as the awkward person that I am, that's as good as I could ever hope for really!
I would say I get in very well with my boyfriends dad, he seems to always want to look after me the way that a dad should and can't understand why my dad doesn't want to know. His mum I also get on with, but only because I bite my tongue and don't tell her what I'm really thinking a lot of the time. I like her, but I disagree with a lot of the choices she makes and the way that she seems completely oblivious to other people's feelings. We get on better now that neither myself or my boyfriend live with her. I think I managed 6 weeks before I had to get out if there!
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I get on well with my boyfriends mum, we're not best friends but we're close enough. His younger sister is quite awkward and she used to not like me but i think it was just a phase, she seems to like me now. I don't know his dad that well, i've been in the car with him a few times but thats it really. I get on great with his mums boyfriend but i've actually been his girlfriend longer than he has been his mums boyfriend so that probably helped haha, and my boyfriend gets on great with my family, he came to a wedding with me last year and met all of my family.
(edited 10 years ago)
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