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What to say to someone you haven't spoken to for four years?

I want to get back in touch with one of my old friends. However, I haven't spoken to her for four years (I'm 18 now, just finished my A Level exams). I've been dying to contact her for ages, but I knew I ought to wait until the exams were finished.
Now they have, I don't know what to do. Four years ago we were really good mates (we went to the same primary school, but not the same secondary). I stopped contact with her though, because I was really depressed and couldn't be bothered going out anymore.

We had so much in common, I'd love to speak to her again, maybe even try to get things back to the way they were (although I accept she's probably moved on a lot in four years!). So much has happened in four years, I want to find out what she's been up to, there's so much to tell and to hear, so much to catch up on ... if she wants to. She only lives two roads away from me as well.

What do you think I should do? I want to text her, but I feel a bit awkward. What would I say? :s-smilie:

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Stand ominously outside of her house wearing a hoodie, but don't let her see your face. Keep following her around while keeping distance. Then when she least expects it, run up to her and lower your hood and then say "I'm back".
I recently bumped into someone who I haven't spoken to in nearly 6 years and we just had a brief chat about what's been going on in our lives regarding uni/college/jobs. Then the bus came and I got on. :cool:
Reply 3
Real advice please guys :s-smilie:
Reply 4
I was in a similar position a few years ago (sadly, it didn't work out as well as I'd hoped, but that's a different story). Basically, I started with expected "Hi, I know we haven't spoken in a while", then said things about I how regretted we hadn't kept in touch (and why), why they were important to me in the past, why I wanted to talk to them again and then left the door open for them to make the next move so I didn't pressurise them. But obviously that's a lot to put in one text, so I'd probably write an email/ letter instead.
Send her a text "Hey, long time! How have your exams been?"


Posted from TSR Mobile
'Hey how's it going- long time no see'
Reply 7
I'm in the same position as you. Just simply text them hi just asking how they've been. I had a really good friend who left school in year 11 to go to college while I stayed at sixth form. I think about my old friends all the time and wonder if it would be weird to suddenly talk to them after a year. I guess they would get the message that you still want to be friends if you speak to them.
Reply 8
Original post by dark-blue
I was in a similar position a few years ago (sadly, it didn't work out as well as I'd hoped, but that's a different story). Basically, I started with expected "Hi, I know we haven't spoken in a while", then said things about I how regretted we hadn't kept in touch (and why), why they were important to me in the past, why I wanted to talk to them again and then left the door open for them to make the next move so I didn't pressurise them. But obviously that's a lot to put in one text, so I'd probably write an email/ letter instead.


Hmm that is a bit long though! Our friendship didn't end badly or anything, we just lost contact. I don't want to overwhelm her, but at the same time I don't want to completely brush over the fact that we haven't spoken for years :s-smilie:
Reply 9
"Spread your legs babe, I know you want me"
Original post by Anonymous
Hmm that is a bit long though! Our friendship didn't end badly or anything, we just lost contact. I don't want to overwhelm her, but at the same time I don't want to completely brush over the fact that we haven't spoken for years :s-smilie:


I admit that it seems a bit overwhelming, but that's just me and I felt it needed to be said. :wink: My friendship didn't end badly either but I felt I could have done more to keep it going so I didn't want the other person to feel like I felt I could ditch them and then just expect them to talk to me again after all those years. So yes, you could with a simple "Hey, how it's going, haven't talked to you in a while" but I think you do still need to add some comment apologising for not keeping in touch and then maybe if your friendship does get strong again have a more in depth conversation about it later.
Start with talking about things that happenes in your past like funny memories and stuff and then hopefully the conversation can keep on flowing from there. Maybe go to an old pub or restaurant you both unused to like.
I havent talked to this guy since year 8
But i just started sixth form and had no idea that he was attending sixth form here and i was waiting to get picked up after sixth form and he was looking at me and i really want to go and talk to him but i dont know what to say
A simple 'Hey (name)! Long time no speak! How you been? :smile:' will do.

They will appreciate your efforts.
I'm in the same position with a school friend. We used to be best friends but then we moved up a year in school and spilt forms so I only see her on Thursdays (pe) buy even then she's with her friends. I thought of texting simply just 'hi' but with a friend tat I haven't seen since primary school I put 'hi *name*, how have you been?'
My friend hasn't talked to me much in a year so in just started with 'hi' as we go to the same school but with my friend I haven't seen since primary I started with 'hi *name* how are you?'
Uhm I really don't know how to give you a response. I am in the same boat right now. There was this guy I really liked but we only messaged until his grandma, which lived down the road from me, told me I could come down to actually meet him, so I did, and it was the most awkward thing you would ever see. We were both shy people, I was 14, and he was 16. Then he left, graduated high school, got a job. I am now 17 and he is 19. He just recently came down to stay with his grandma but didn't say hi to me. He left obviously but I really wanna talk to him and he just now accepted my facebook request but I don't know what to say to him.
Zoo wee mama!
Reply 18
yooo so, did u talk????
Send a long email to her explaining the stuff going on in your head and tell her that you want to hang out again. Though i think you must have already talked to her by now.😅

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