The Student Room Group

Do we need relationships lessons in schools?

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You can't teach people how to have relationships, what SHOULD be discouraged though is casual sex as when you come to Uni it seems the norm which I personally find horrific!
Reply 61
The biology of sex education and the dangers of sex without contraception should be taught. Anything regarding how humans should socially interact with each other is completely unnecessary. Also, love is a social construct.
Original post by xoJessicaAnn
You can't teach people how to have relationships, what SHOULD be discouraged though is casual sex as when you come to Uni it seems the norm which I personally find horrific!


See I'm very uncomfortable with that, because that's socialisation, not teaching. Just because you're against casual sex, everyone should be indoctrinated against it? Plenty of people have and enjoy it with no negative consequences.
Original post by xoJessicaAnn
You can't teach people how to have relationships, what SHOULD be discouraged though is casual sex as when you come to Uni it seems the norm which I personally find horrific!


Why?

Unless they make you watch, I don't understand why you even think you have the right to be offended by it.
I think that giving a class about relationship is good because if the students will have a good idea about relationship then they will be having a sound mind about their life and they will make an apt decision in choosing their partner and have a peaceful life.
Reply 65
I wouldn't want my kids learning about relationships from a stranger. Reminds me of the south park episode to be honest. Who's to say the teacher won't be a sexist pig, or a pervert, or an anti-social tosspot? No way.

SCHOOLS AND TEACHERS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE SURROGATE PARENTS FOR FUDGES SAKE. Stop telling teachers they are meant to be raising their students. They are there to EDUCATE them. IF YOU WANT THEM TO BE PARENTS GIVE THEM THE POWERS OF PARENTS. Stop this bull****, if someone can't be bothered to raise their child the responsibility shouldn't be passed on to education officials.
Original post by Mankytoes
See I'm very uncomfortable with that, because that's socialisation, not teaching. Just because you're against casual sex, everyone should be indoctrinated against it? Plenty of people have and enjoy it with no negative consequences.


What I'm saying is, I don't think it should be seen as 'the norm'. Fair enough, some people choose to do it but there are a lot of people who will do things to fit in at Uni and I believe drugs and casual sex are sometimes considered a must.
Original post by MelanieDickson
Why?

Unless they make you watch, I don't understand why you even think you have the right to be offended by it.


I am offended by the way it is seen as 'the thing to do' when you go to Uni, and compliments 'lad culture'. Fair enough, some people choose to do it and they are entitled to make that decision but I don't think it should be encouraged as something everyone need participate in.
Reply 68
Original post by xoJessicaAnn
You can't teach people how to have relationships, what SHOULD be discouraged though is casual sex as when you come to Uni it seems the norm which I personally find horrific!


Wait a second... Did you actually just admit from the offset that your reason for wanting it discouraged is that you personally dislike it? Whilst your reason is still absurd, I'm touched by your honesty. :awesome:
Reply 69
Original post by xoJessicaAnn
I am offended by the way it is seen as 'the thing to do' when you go to Uni, and compliments 'lad culture'. Fair enough, some people choose to do it and they are entitled to make that decision but I don't think it should be encouraged as something everyone need participate in.

I don't think you'll find it *is* something that's encouraged, at least by the university. The students, maybe, but then that's their choice, and we can hardly remove peer-pressure from society. As to the "compliments lad culture" unless they are having sex with each other, or there's an awful lot of raping going on, one would say that there's a fair number of consensual ladies who have no issue with it...
Those lessons would be awkward to say the very least.
Original post by xoJessicaAnn
I am offended by the way it is seen as 'the thing to do' when you go to Uni, and compliments 'lad culture'. Fair enough, some people choose to do it and they are entitled to make that decision but I don't think it should be encouraged as something everyone need participate in.


Okay, fair enough, I acknowledge that peer pressure and social expectations can suck for those who don't want to engage in casual sex. I've experienced a little myself, though I don't think it's that widespread really. But has it occurred to you that people who do engage in casual sex also receive a lot of pressure and outright shaming from those who don't? Being called a slut (or a manslut) and that you shouldn't sleep around and that its immoral is pretty crappy when you aren't hurting anyone. Surely the real enemy is people who can't accept others' way of life and try to get everyone to be like them, rather than people who do or don't sleep around?
Original post by xoJessicaAnn
What I'm saying is, I don't think it should be seen as 'the norm'. Fair enough, some people choose to do it but there are a lot of people who will do things to fit in at Uni and I believe drugs and casual sex are sometimes considered a must.


I think plenty of people don't do those things at uni. If there's one vice that's near universal at uni it's drinking, not drugs/casual sex.

Besides, how are you going to teach that? What are you going to tell kids that is going to get them to turn down a spliff and a shag? We already learn about STDs and contraception, and why drugs are bad. Truth is, people do those things mainly because they're enjoyable, and because of natural curiosity, not because of peer pressure.
Reply 73
No!! People are all different and you end up in a relationship in so many ways. How do you teach somebody how to love unless you are loved, yet that person won't know until they are loved which is from the person who loves them learning etc etc etc.

Even if it is just what to do when you are in a relationship, all relationships differ. This is because the personalities of the people in the relationship differ. I am currently with a happy go lucky guy, who means the world to me and was my closest guy friend so we have a comfortable relationship since I am quite easy going. However my previous relationship was very rocky since our personalities clashed and there was no way you could say that was going to happen before we started dating.

The only thing you can teach people is, respect, trust and the law. After that is is up to them and they should just go for it. You can't teach them "the right person" you learn that for yourself.
Original post by MelanieDickson
Okay, fair enough, I acknowledge that peer pressure and social expectations can suck for those who don't want to engage in casual sex. I've experienced a little myself, though I don't think it's that widespread really. But has it occurred to you that people who do engage in casual sex also receive a lot of pressure and outright shaming from those who don't? Being called a slut (or a manslut) and that you shouldn't sleep around and that its immoral is pretty crappy when you aren't hurting anyone. Surely the real enemy is people who can't accept others' way of life and try to get everyone to be like them, rather than people who do or don't sleep around?


Good post. A lot of people on here talk about the pressure to have casual sex, but with girls, from my experience it's worse the other way. The slut shaming can be absolutely brutal. Same with drugs, sometimes there's pressure to take them, sometimes people who do take them get ****eloads of judgement.

Generally, people only really see it when they're the victim.
Reply 75
I don't agree.

Relationships is something you learn through experience, not a lesson or through something you need so study and becomes an obligation. Is the goverment going to tell us how we need to act in relationships? every person is different and they will behave according to their feelings and their personality. As long as violence is not used in a relationship, everybody is and should be free to behave as they wish.
Reply 76
From personal experience of so many school given talks I think no. No students seem to take anything seriously from talks like this because its given by adults who they feel can't relate to them. Usually during talks students talk amongst themselves paying no attention to the talk, at least that's how it was in my school.
Original post by Fee95
From personal experience of so many school given talks I think no. No students seem to take anything seriously from talks like this because its given by adults who they feel can't relate to them. Usually during talks students talk amongst themselves paying no attention to the talk, at least that's how it was in my school.


Same, I went to a comp, but an above average one, and if we were told we were having "relationship education" everyone would think "doss lesson". As self appointed class clown, I'd be thinking "how can I get some laughs here?".
Reply 78
Education is far too important and crucial for young people's understanding of life. There is no way a Government, or even a school, would reach an agreement on which rules to teach young people. Everybody has their own rules, whether they are living in reality or in denial.
Feminism does enough damage on its own, teaching young buys to try to identify with women or young girls that they should behave like men. Just look at the dating market today - girls being treated like ****, 20% of men getting all the sex and most good men looking for real relationships getting nothing at all. I imagine if someone wanted to teach young people some actual truths, such as "men don't want to marry sluts" or "women like masculine men", it would be met with an outrage. A great deal of people don't want to deal with the truth.
People are more likely to trust experiences either way. Some people may have on bad experience after another and never learn, but that's society.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 79
Original post by Mankytoes
Same, I went to a comp, but an above average one, and if we were told we were having "relationship education" everyone would think "doss lesson". As self appointed class clown, I'd be thinking "how can I get some laughs here?".

Yeah I totally get you. Lol I used to always get happy when I knew we were going to have these talks immediately thinking I could just sit there and daydream. & ahaaa there always are the class clowns making their comments during these talks, it's the only thing that makes them remotely interesting :/ It's quite sad that we have these attitudes towards them.

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