Break ups, your experiences

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I was with my first boyfriend for 8 months, but was over the relationship by the 3rd month. The issue was, he was suicidal and kept telling me that I was the only thing keeping him from doing himself in. This kept me in an unhappy relationship for 5 additional months, and when I finally decided that I needed to do what was best for me and break up with him, I told him that we were better off as friends because I didn't see a romantic connection between us anymore. After I ended it, I honestly wanted to laugh, that's how great it felt to be free.

The second one was a giant mess because he cheated on me with three underage girls while we were dating. Needless to say, I broke up with him, vindictively poured hot coffee on his crotch in front of his friends, and never spoke to him again. Maybe not super classy on my part, but he deserved every ounce of pain I could dump on him.

After that, the breakups were a lot easier - two of them were mutual (we just didn't belong in a relationship) and I broke up with the other one very calmly and we agreed that it was best not to carry on with a friendship.

Reply 41

mddub39

My last one was very abrupt and sudden. I found out that she was cutting herself and then one day told me she couldn't deal with her feelings and attachment to me, her depression didn't affect me at all, and it was entirely her choice to end what we had. It was a real shame, I really cared about her and regret what happened still.

Reply 42

Venturian tale !

I got dumped on facebook.

um....

Original post by Rock Fan

Keep them coming guys, this is all good stuff so far :yy:

Harsh when there is no reason after being together so long.

Yeah man definitely. I think there was interest on her behalf towards other guys but I wish she was honest about it.

Reply 45

username609124

My last relationship lasted about 10 months last year. During the summer (it had been 6 months together) I went on a holiday to visit some family aboard. My boyfriend begged me not to go, but the tickets were booked so I had no choice. The first 3 days, he kept texting me, telling me how much he loved and missed me. On the 5th day abroad (YES, ONLY 5 DAYS AFTER I LEFT) he messaged me saying he couldn't be with me anymore. I was devastated, really heartbroken, especially because it came out of nowhere. I didn't let it get the better of me though, I carried out, trying to enjoy my holiday. Two weeks later, when I was still in the process of moving on, he texted me saying he missed me and how sorry he was and everything... (you can imagine). He said he'd never break my heart again, so I stupidly took him back. I knew one of the reasons he broke up with me was because he had met another girl while I was away, but clearly nothing happened as he ran back to me.

Two months later, I was back in London, and we were all loved up again. Everything was going great until university started for me in September, just a month after. All of a sudden he was distant and changed incredibly quick AGAIN. But this time, I wasn't going to let him hurt me, so I broke up with him straight away. Instead of feeling down and hurt, I was feeling angry, and I really hated him.

Like a circle, everything happened exactly the same, he came back begging for me take him back. He told me he had personal family problems, including the death of a close cousin of him. This time I didn't take him back straight away, I let him become my friend before my boyfriend. I know, however, there is no point ever going back with an ex.

The previous point was proven in December, when our LAST break up happened. This time, however, I was the one to fall out of love, and although, I tried to fall for him again, and to be loved up. I just wasn't feeling anything for him anymore. So I broke up with him, and let him go.

Now, almost 8 months later, I do still find myself thinking about him and reminiscing our good memories, because I did love him at some point, you can't just forget that. But I know for sure, I'd never go back to him, although he has tried since, I would take him back. I know how it'd end. Sometimes you just have to accept that the person is not right for you, no matter how it may seem. :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 46

username47781

Original post by canadamoose

As hard as it is, guess if someone is threatening to kill themselves over a break up, you cannot be held responsible for that.

Only thing with revenge, I can understand with wanting the other person to suffer big time, sometimes I wonder if the best form of revenge is giving them the silent treatment.

Reply 47

nicholoser

Original post by Rock Fan

Purpose of this thread is to hear about each others experiences of breaking up and the time after that. Something we have all been there, I ain't gonna lie, I have had my fair share of break ups and yeah it hurts. I have been cheated on more than once, now I am not looking for sympathy, I am just describing past experiences. There was nothing worse though when I was cheated on when my ex denied it at first only for one of her friends to tell me the truth. Whilst it is true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, the weeks after my break up were horrible, and I was hurting all over. I have also had the possessive ex, the one where they text you every two minutes asking where you are and who are you with, worst mistake I made there was not breaking up with her straight away as she continued to haunt me for months after when I finally did break up with her, not to mention her family threatened to beat me up.

Anyway that's a couple experiences I have had, now it is over to you. Have you been dumped before? Have you been the one ending it? How did you feel in the weeks after, did it take you a while to get over the break up? How recent was your break up?
Basically share your experiences, feel free to use anonymous.

That is nasty.
Well I have, one guy was a total pervert and kept asking me for nudes. I broke up with him without thinking and it didn't hurt as the relationship was quite short. Another was immature and kept using the circumstances of the situation to decide how to act, whether he should be nice or pleasant.

Reply 48

username47781

Original post by nicholoser

That's just awful that a guy pressuring you into sending pictures, best off getting rid of him.

Reply 49

AreebWithaHat

Original post by cpdavis

I have had two relationships or things that I would call "exclusive commitments".

The first was in my teenager years and we were together for a year and a bit, broke up, got back together, then broke up going in our separate directions. The main reason for the break up was that she cheated on me and whilst I did forgive her the level of trust wasn't there anymore. We do still talk occasionally I don't exactly regret it as an experience.

The second was more recent. Although it was an LDR, we did still have a high level of contact. We were "together" for about 6 months before we decided to call it off (at this stage I didn't feel in the right mindset to be in a relationship) however we did still talk and act like a couple.

However, things quickly did turn sour and it resulted in the cutting off in contact early March, her reasoning was due to me "not giving enough contact" despite uni taking over my life. We haven't spoken since and part of me asks if I should remove her number or not. In the end I kept it, as I thought it would help the hurting heal. It didn't.

I thought you were homosexual? Or are you just bi? :smile:

Reply 50

Slowbro93

Original post by AreebWithaHat

I thought you were homosexual? Or are you just bi? :smile:

I'm bi

Reply 51

AreebWithaHat

Original post by cpdavis

I'm bi

ah right, my mistake

Reply 52

Slowbro93

Original post by AreebWithaHat

ah right, my mistake

No worries, most people get my relationship status mixed up :tongue:

Reply 53

Anonymous #5

I'm going through a break up now actually, well it happened a week ago, with my first love that I was with for 3 years and 4 months.
A week before, we began a 'break'- he said he didn't like the way he treated me, that he needs to appreciate me more, so we thought a break would help.
Later, he then said that being on his own he just made him feel empty, lonely, and lost. Because he hasn't been out of a relationship since he was like 11, he said he needs to learn who he is without someone else and become competent being alone.
As he was my best friend, family and lover, I couldn't bare to loose it all so we're still talking like friends. He says he doesn't want to give me hope that we would eventually get back together, so I should try and move on.
It's even harder with the fact that he was a father figure to my younger brother, my mum adored him and thought he was the perfect match for me. In fact we were actually planning to live together in a years time, talked about the future a lot...
His family treated me like part of theirs, and my dad finally just started to get to know him.
My mum even said that if we couldn't make it, being so compatible, then what hope is there left for her or anyone aha

It hurts most just how it all came out of the blue, but he says it feels like something his has to do, it's weird and he can't explain it.

So now I'm trying to ignore my feelings and just get through my last year of A Levels, hopefully getting into my dream course.

Sorry for the rant, it's all still raw :bawling:

I have now become a baking enthusiast though, planning on becoming star baker in British Bake Off one day...

Reply 54

persononinternet

The worst break-up was my first love. He ended it face to face because he wanted to spend more time with his friends... Took me a really long time to get over it, we ended up resenting each other after attempting to stay friends too :frown:

(NEVER try and stay friends with an ex until you're over them)

My most recent break up... I found out from a mutual friend that he had said he was thinking of ending it with me because of another girl he thought was "nice" and "pretty" but he didn't even know her name at the time :l soo I confronted him about it and he basically made me end it (we talked/broke up over text)... he then he got with her a week later... :angry: