Girls - Does the guy have to be good at guitar to be attractive

Basically i have low self confidance issues, mainly because anything that i do cos i like i know there is someone better than me in my close circle of friends

Example: I play guitar, i'm ok at it, been playing on and off, self taught for 3 years, and i know many people who are much better than me beacuse they play more regually than i do and even though i know they are going to be better beacuse they've put more time in it, i still have low confidance, the phrase i use is that i'm both inspired and indimidated by guitarists that are better than me

I'm trying to find something which can give me some confidance and i keep comming back to either singing or guitar as this year those two things have helped me through some tough times (i'm not particually good at either, but it helps me cope), but when ever i try to do them i stop practising quite quick;y because i know i'm not that good, and i know that you get better the more you do it but can never stick at em for longer than 30 minutes a piece

Basically i have low self confidance and get indimated quite easily, i need to find a way i can either cope with that or be rid of it all together

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Reply 1

Messalina

How many men get laid and can't play the guitar?

There's your answer.

Reply 2

Lelcats

You will never gain female attention without the ability to play "Through The Fire And The Flames" on Guitar Hero, expert mode

Reply 3

Double Agent

Depends, how good is your fingering?

Reply 4

Tomsta

Original post by Messalina

How many men get laid and can't play the guitar?

There's your answer.

A lot but they have natural confidance, something which i don't have yet, people always say do something yu like and you will naturally get confidance

Reply 5

Tomsta

Original post by Lelcats

You will never gain female attention without the ability to play "Through The Fire And The Flames" on Guitar Hero, expert mode

Oh i can do that :P

How random.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5QCs3PnQBc

It personally bugs me when people do this. They think because they can play a few chords they're going to get trampled by girls.

Reply 8

Tomsta

Should note i'm not using this to get me laid (although bonus if it does) i am just wanting to get some confidance

I have never had much female attention and i know it sounds stupid but genuinee attention from a girl gives my confidance a boost

Reply 9

Messalina

Original post by Tcrumpen

A lot but they have natural confidance, something which i don't have yet, people always say do something yu like and you will naturally get confidance

Confidence. It's spelt confidence.

And to an extent, you will get more confident if you get good at any skill. Some women like confident men, some women like shy men. Don't make generalisations and eventually somebody will turn up who wants to date you, that's how it goes. You can't force it to happen, but there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Reply 10

ThatGuyPsy

You answered your own question.

If you want the get good, you have to invest time into it. Those guys who are so much better than you? They were in the same position as you. They looked up to other better players and thought, "****. I want to be that good!". Then they spent hours upon hours practicing until they improved. It's likely that they had setbacks - there are always setbacks - but they pushed through and now they have reached the same level of proficiency that they aspired too.

Don't give up so easily, start with some simple things, gradually work your way up and you'll get their eventually.

(PS: Learning guitar as a means to get laid is a laughably bad idea.)

Reply 11

Thing8

Original post by Lelcats

You will never gain female attention without the ability to play "Through The Fire And The Flames" on Guitar Hero, expert mode

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlQ5UW_ZKH4

i can do this....not made any difference it terms of girls :L

Reply 12

Tomsta

Original post by ThatGuyPsy

I just don't hve the motivation to continue learning

Its the way my brain works, and i can't change that unfortunatley, i've had this mind set for as long as i can remember, i dont' really have any motivation for it, i still enjoy learning but for me there has to be something more for me to get out of it, doesn't help that i have depression

Reply 13

canadamoose

My boyfriend doesn't play guitar and still gets laid, so it's definitely not a necessity. If you do play guitar (which you say you do), there is no need for you to be amazing at it. The only unattractive thing I can think of about you playing guitar is if you tell your girlfriend you're really good at it, and then she watches you and you look like a cocky bastard because you're actually **** at guitar.

Reply 14

Tomsta

Original post by canadamoose

Oh i am by no means brillaint at it, thats why i said i'm ok at it, i'm not terrible, but i'm not the next Jimi Hendrix

It's something i do beacuse i like it, and i'm trying to find ways for me to naturally boost my confidance. As there are no "brave pills" that i'm aware of i can't go down the medication route

Reply 15

sr90

Volunteer Team

I think being passionate about anything is an attractive quality, not necessarily an instrument. Just something that makes you interesting and a tad different.

Reply 16

Millie228

To answer your initial question, I couldn't care less whether a guy plays guitar. It has no influence on how attracted I am to him. I do like a guy who has hobbies though, and spends his spare time doing things he loves.

It's not as simple as finding one thing that will make you more confident. Learning new things will help, but you get more confident by working hard, being creative, taking risks and challenging yourself. An example of a challenge could be playing the guitar in front of an audience. You can't expect that sitting in your own room playing a guitar will make you more confident with other people.
Your success with something is proportional to the effort and time put into it. The more effort you put into your diet, the healthier you will be, the more time (correctly) spent at the gym, the more fit you'll be, the more effort put into your schoolwork the better grades and so on. If you are socially anxious, you need to make an effort to put yourself more into social situations and pursue hobbies which demands you to interact with others.

Reply 17

canadamoose

Original post by Tcrumpen

Then guitar is neither attractive, nor unattractive. If you enjoy it, it's worth doing - it may not give you confidence, but that will come with time!

Reply 18

Picnic1

Original post by Messalina

Some women like confident men, some women like shy men.

It's the ones inbetween who get literally nothing, not even a look from the below average looking girls, because they can't be pigeonholed.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 19

username919394

A guy is not more attractive if he plays the guitar.
If playing the guitar and singing is something which you enjoy then keep at it and keep getting better and I'm sure it will improve your confidence a little.