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Is this normal?

When you've been in a relationship for a while, do you feel like the passion has died, even though you still love each other and get on very well? I just don't feel that rush of excitement and elation every time I kiss/hug/talk to my boyfriend any more, and its getting me down :frown: miss the dating days when all the nerves and excitement were there. Don't get me wrong - we're in love and the relationship is great, he treats me so well, we're happy together. I'm just not feeling the butterflies, the racing heart and the jumping-for-joy feeling I used to. Is this entirely normal? I've heard the 'flame dies' after a while, maybe its just the way it goes
Reply 1
Avatar for Treeroy
Treeroy
18
I've never had a boyfriend myself, but it does seem that an awful lot of people go through what you're experiencing; I assume it's normal.

Perhaps try something different with him? (Either sexual or non-sexual, or both!)
Reply 2
Avatar for ellthom
ellthom
It's perfectly normal :smile: nothing to worry about. I love my boyfriend a lot but I fully know that we don't constantly want to see each other anymore and that the excitement from the beginning has died down. But that is any relationship for you, it's exciting getting to know each other! But he's a part of your life longer term now and you know him well :smile: like you said you still love him. I miss the old days a bit too but I wouldn't trade what I have for anything! I guess you decide how much it affects you but you seem happy in your relationship, don't worry though essentially answering your question you are perfectly normal and a lot of people feel like that x


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I've been with my fiancé for 8 years. Of course it doesn't feel like it did at the start, because we didn't know each other then, it was exciting because of the 'unknown'. I much prefer it now. Now that the exciting bit is the as yet 'unexperienced'. what we are going to share next. New jobs, more holidays, the prospect of living abroad, buying a home. there's no second guessing about what the other one's doing or thinking, being all jittery over getting a reply etc, because we show our love in different ways to how we did when we were first a couple.

Of course it's normal, you've been through the butterfly stage, now's time for the sharing life experiences/growing as a couple stage, if that's what you want.

Remember, the flame doesn't die, it changes, and you'll always have the memories to talk about of when it was first lit:love:
(edited 10 years ago)

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