<a https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7467335'> Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

My mum and her partner are driving me insane!

YikezItzAmy

*Shoot, wrong place. Can someone please move this to the Friends, Family and Work sub forum?*

I just recently turned 19 and I can't move out on my own for health reasons.

I've been looking for a job for months now and I keep getting rejected. I've applied for hundreds but my mum and her partner think that it's my fault that I can't get a job and said that there's loads of jobs out there. They think that I'm turning jobs down, when actually I'm the one being turned down for jobs.

Because of this, they're treating me like a child. They've given me a bedtime of 10pm and the internet is switched off at 10pm as well. They're also taking away the tv remotes and my Xbox controller so I can't stay up past my 'bedtime.'
They're also insisting on waking me up at 6am every day and if I refuse to get up, the internet and tv are not switched on for 2 days. When they wake me up, they put my duvet, blankets and pillows into a locked cupboard in their room so I can't go back to bed.

I'm so frustrated that they're literally punishing me for not being able to get a job and they won't believe that I'm applying for jobs, they insist that it's my fault that I'm unemployed. My cousin is 16 and gets to do what she wants, and I'm 20 next year and I still have a bedtime!

They're also threatening to take my phone off me and only give it to me if I get up at 6, and if I don't, it gets taken off me for a whole week.

I spoke to my dad and his girlfriend and they're trying to arrange for me to move in with them but there's a lot of problems that keep getting in the way.

I'm so sick of being treated like a 10 year old and i'm so sick of them not listening to me! What can I do? :frown:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

Basket case

Personally I'd go home drunk! And say you're Turing me to this! See I can legally do this stuff as I am not a child like you think I am.

Maybe that will make them realize you are legally an adult!

Just a thought hunny!

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

Mimir

Ok let's have a look a little bit at a time :smile:

Original post by YikezItzAmy

I just recently turned 19 and I can't move out on my own for health reasons.

Yes, it's frustrating being fit maybe mentally and otherwise physically but having something keeping you there almost against your will. No doubt it makes the little things more irritating.

I've been looking for a job for months now and I keep getting rejected. I've applied for hundreds but my mum and her partner think that it's my fault that I can't get a job and said that there's loads of jobs out there. They think that I'm turning jobs down, when actually I'm the one being turned down for jobs.

Job rejection combined with having to still be at home. Ugh. Throw a parent and their partner in and you've got a toxic mix. There are loads of jobs out there, but not necessarily jobs that will be given to you once you've applied and been interviewed, unfortunately :frown:

Because of this, they're treating me like a child. They've given me a bedtime of 10pm and the internet is switched off at 10pm as well. They're also taking away the tv remotes and my Xbox controller so I can't stay up past my 'bedtime.'

Sounds like a 'my house my rules' although to be fair, this isn't too rough, if they are going to bed at that time then you should too really. Although sensible compromises could be made no doubt. Maybe something to bring up gently when the mood settles? Don't be surprised if you get shot down once or twice.

They're also insisting on waking me up at 6am every day and if I refuse to get up, the internet and tv are not switched on for 2 days. When they wake me up, they put my duvet, blankets and pillows into a locked cupboard in their room so I can't go back to bed.

Really? I can see the logic in making you get up in the morning to stop you dossing about, hopefully encouraging you to make use of the day through job hunting etc?

I'm so frustrated that they're literally punishing me for not being able to get a job and they won't believe that I'm applying for jobs, they insist that it's my fault that I'm unemployed. My cousin is 16 and gets to do what she wants, and I'm 20 next year and I still have a bedtime!

Unfortunately at 20, it would have been presumed you would have left home. Of course situations have determined this can't be the way right now. They're probably at a loss at how to treat you since you are verging on being an adult yet living at home, and have returned to how things used to work. I don't think this can be corrected by a major act of rebellion, it will just add fuel to the flame.

They're also threatening to take my phone off me and only give it to me if I get up at 6, and if I don't, it gets taken off me for a whole week.

Really? If this was only said once, surely it could have just been a throwaway comment of "see I still have authority" sort of approach on their part.

I'm so sick of being treated like a 10 year old and i'm so sick of them not listening to me! What can I do? :frown:

You could lay low and just keep the peace for a bit and see how things pan out (more than a few weeks).

I've said it already but will say again, a massive obvious act of rebellion is not going to change anything, even if you feel vindicated. I certainly wouldn't think showing up home drunk is a good idea, certainly if you have health problems.

Do it their way for a few weeks. Then ask nicely if things could be different - just one or two things, be prepared to compromise and demonstrate that you can make good on what you promise (for example staying up until midnight latest, but being quiet), suggest a trial period to show you are willing to earn their trust on it (YES it sounds awful and juvenile but it might just work. You are 19/20 and this shouldn't be the way you live, but unfortunately it is the situation you're in, so it can be manipulated nicely to your advantage, but slowly).

Tread softly. Families are unpredictable.