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Ex has left me insecure about my introversion...

Apologies to begin with if this is in the wrong forum - i couldn't decide which it should be in!

I'm an introvert by nature. I'm confident, not shy in the slightest and I'm social to my own standards. I can spend a lot of time by myself, prefer to travel by myself etc etc. I love having a girlfriend but don't have one at the moment, and I prefer chilling with a few close friends and having a massive party friend group isn't really my thing.

It's been a struggle growing up with this nature, but I felt i accepted myself fairly young and haven't really given myself a hard time over it.

The problem is that about 2 months ago my very extroverted ex-girlfriend broke up with me and now that times gone on I see just how insecure she's made me. She always used to make little digs at me for being boring or a loner or that i must be depressed or lack social skills and found it hard to accept that I enjoyed simplicity and peace.

I've started seeing a girl at the moment who's quite extroverted and I find myself getting a bit reluctant that she's gunna start seeing me the same way and I always just feel now a days like people think i'm boring.

How can i snap out of this paranoia!
Reply 1
Avatar for Steezy
Steezy
15
As long as you make an effort to make your GF happy (i.e. go out with her when she wants, etc), and she makes an effort to make you happy (e.g. gives you alone time when you want), it shouldn't really matter.

You have to care about what your partner wants, and that goes both ways.
You seem to have a good balance of things in my opinion. You're independent and enjoy alone time but you've still got friends you can hang around with and you say you aren't shy. I don't understand why you've struggled but are you happy now? Don't care about what other people think, especially not your ex. If you're entertained by your own company you're happy like that, who cares if she finds you boring? That doesn't mean that you are, you just didn't match her way of life. If you and the girl you're seeing now fit into each other's lifestyles and you're both happy and comfortable with it then you shouldn't worry at all.
Reply 3
Avatar for AparnaX
AparnaX
Your level of introversion is fine :smile: Unless you have trouble being intimate with anyone, I don't think it should be a problem. As long as you're able to compromise with your gf, e.g. if she wanted to go to a party with you but you didn't, you'd still go with her, but next time, you'd both stay at home in the same situation etc., I don't think you need to change yourself.

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