Too scared to get a job
For the last 6 years I've avoided getting a job and instead taking any educational things I can, college, BTEC's and even university. I try anything to avoid getting a job but now the time has come where I have to choose, a job or the streets.
The problem is I'm just too scared to get a job, I'm too scared of messing up, being judged ect and I absolutely can't stand being the "new kid on the block" so to speak when applying for a job.
Let's say I apply for an office based job, everyone there alreadys knows each other, they're already friends and are totally comfortable with their job. Then I turn up and I know nobody, I'll feel like an idiot if I mess up and I just feel like an idiot for being new...
I think I've finally realised that I have social anxiety. I don't mind meeting new people when everyone is knew and we are all in the same boat but meeting new people when everyone knows each other already is terrible and extremely daunting.
I have severe issues with eye contact and I find it impossible to look people in the eye, if I do it's for a second at the most then I have to look away.
All this is relatively new and I only started experiencing this at about the age of 16.
I don't know what to do, I just want a job where I can be by myself without being watched. Something like a delivery driver would be awesome but I don't drive. I don't want to be dozed up on pills and I'm very against anything that modifies the way my brain thinks or acts.
What is the doctor likely to do / say if I go to see him, will he just tell me stuff I already know such as you need to practice being aroud new people ect even though that isn't the problem.
The problem is I'm just too scared to get a job, I'm too scared of messing up, being judged ect and I absolutely can't stand being the "new kid on the block" so to speak when applying for a job.
Let's say I apply for an office based job, everyone there alreadys knows each other, they're already friends and are totally comfortable with their job. Then I turn up and I know nobody, I'll feel like an idiot if I mess up and I just feel like an idiot for being new...
I think I've finally realised that I have social anxiety. I don't mind meeting new people when everyone is knew and we are all in the same boat but meeting new people when everyone knows each other already is terrible and extremely daunting.
I have severe issues with eye contact and I find it impossible to look people in the eye, if I do it's for a second at the most then I have to look away.
All this is relatively new and I only started experiencing this at about the age of 16.
I don't know what to do, I just want a job where I can be by myself without being watched. Something like a delivery driver would be awesome but I don't drive. I don't want to be dozed up on pills and I'm very against anything that modifies the way my brain thinks or acts.
What is the doctor likely to do / say if I go to see him, will he just tell me stuff I already know such as you need to practice being aroud new people ect even though that isn't the problem.
If you went to a doctor, he'd tell you that you probably suffer from mild anxiety and would try and place you on medication.
I am a sufferer of anxiety myself, tried the pills and hated not feeling like myself!
From suffering, I've had to adjust my thought patterns and I really do know that this is easier said than done!
I'm exactly the same as you, I avoid social contact as much as I can!
With regards to a job, I've managed to have one, I just had to tell myself that everyone starts out as a newbie! Rather than just be confident I pretended that I was confident, would ask questions where needed and just deal with the anxiety later.
It is very difficult I know, I found that talking to my closest friends and family about it helped, they gave me tips on what to say and stuff.
We all start at the bottom!
I am a sufferer of anxiety myself, tried the pills and hated not feeling like myself!
From suffering, I've had to adjust my thought patterns and I really do know that this is easier said than done!
I'm exactly the same as you, I avoid social contact as much as I can!
With regards to a job, I've managed to have one, I just had to tell myself that everyone starts out as a newbie! Rather than just be confident I pretended that I was confident, would ask questions where needed and just deal with the anxiety later.
It is very difficult I know, I found that talking to my closest friends and family about it helped, they gave me tips on what to say and stuff.
We all start at the bottom!
I used to be exactly the same. I ended up on antidepressants and seeing a therapist for a while. After a bit I stopped taking the medication and gradually stopped seeing the therapist. I'm still awkward in social situations but I don't classify it as a problem anymore - it's who I am and I don't need to change to suit other people.
I got a job in a shop which forced me to interact with people - at first I HATED it and dreaded every single day, but after a while you become desensitized to it - and speaking to people becomes as routine as tying your shoe laces. That's not to say I became a social butterfly - it's just that I stopped caring and I became able to deal with it better. Now I can interact with people in work capacity and I have no problem with it - I can be who ever I want to be - it's a facade really.
I still can't interact with people on a personal level though - so I don't go to staff parties or try to meet people to make friends - but I can have work based conversations and appear to be 'normal' (i.e. not the nervous wreck that I really am in social situations).
So my advise would be to either force yourself to do a job that involves people - even if it's over the phone OR if that's too much too soon, find a therapist/counselor in your local area (you can refer yourself to a lot of them without needing to get your GP involved - just google 'counselor' and your town).
It gets better, believe me.
I got a job in a shop which forced me to interact with people - at first I HATED it and dreaded every single day, but after a while you become desensitized to it - and speaking to people becomes as routine as tying your shoe laces. That's not to say I became a social butterfly - it's just that I stopped caring and I became able to deal with it better. Now I can interact with people in work capacity and I have no problem with it - I can be who ever I want to be - it's a facade really.
I still can't interact with people on a personal level though - so I don't go to staff parties or try to meet people to make friends - but I can have work based conversations and appear to be 'normal' (i.e. not the nervous wreck that I really am in social situations).
So my advise would be to either force yourself to do a job that involves people - even if it's over the phone OR if that's too much too soon, find a therapist/counselor in your local area (you can refer yourself to a lot of them without needing to get your GP involved - just google 'counselor' and your town).
It gets better, believe me.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) possibly ? Helps you change the thought patterns behind your anxieties.
