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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II

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Not seeing my boyfriend for some ridiculous time period- got at least 4 weeks to go, and because he has University resits I might not see him until Middle of September.. not quite as bad as some of here, but really hate the distance apart :frown:
Sometimes I miss my boyfriend so much that I struggle to sleep at night, for badly wanting him here beside me right now :frown:. Argh, this LDR feels like torture sometimes :sigh:
Original post by skatealexia
Not seeing my boyfriend for some ridiculous time period- got at least 4 weeks to go, and because he has University resits I might not see him until Middle of September.. not quite as bad as some of here, but really hate the distance apart :frown:


I know exactly how you feel. I won't be seeing my boyfriend until Christmas, and it's so hard to move on with your life in the meantime. Everyone always tries to tell you to keep busy and do things, when really, sometimes it's just nice to have a pity party. So I'll join you in your "I feel bad for myself" sort of deal. I feel bad for myself also, and that is ok. You'll get through it until you see him again, as will I, and in the end, everything will work out as it should! For now though, have a good cry, miss him, eat some junk food, wish he were with you, and think of the amazing life that the two of you have ahead of you. :smile:
Reply 23
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smorga30
7
Original post by canadamoose
I know exactly how you feel. I won't be seeing my boyfriend until Christmas, and it's so hard to move on with your life in the meantime. Everyone always tries to tell you to keep busy and do things, when really, sometimes it's just nice to have a pity party. So I'll join you in your "I feel bad for myself" sort of deal. I feel bad for myself also, and that is ok. You'll get through it until you see him again, as will I, and in the end, everything will work out as it should! For now though, have a good cry, miss him, eat some junk food, wish he were with you, and think of the amazing life that the two of you have ahead of you. :smile:


Can I join in on the pity party? I'll bring some ice cream! Lol


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Original post by smorga30
Can I join in on the pity party? I'll bring some ice cream! Lol


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Always. We turn down no-one (especially someone with ice cream)!
Reply 25
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smorga30
7
Original post by canadamoose
Always. We turn down no-one (especially someone with ice cream)!


Oh thank goodness! People in normal relationships don't seem to grasp how important it is to gripe sometimes about the distance. I am
Especially in need now as the gap is about to close and we seem to argue about everything! I really can't wait to be back together so that can stop!


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Original post by smorga30
Oh thank goodness! People in normal relationships don't seem to grasp how important it is to gripe sometimes about the distance. I am
Especially in need now as the gap is about to close and we seem to argue about everything! I really can't wait to be back together so that can stop!


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I get that too - whenever we're about to visit one another and we'll be living together for a couple weeks, we always have some of our biggest rows! I think it's just a stress release, but it sucks.
I feel stupid but I hate it when my boyfriend goes on a night out.
I feel really selfish but I hate the fact that when he's away from me he seems to have much more fun and goes out quite a lot. I get jealous of everyone he is with as they get to spend so much more time with him than me. I hate the fact he's with other girls and dancing near them, it makes me feel so insecure and silly. I hate how I spend all night worrying about him getting home safely when he's out having fun and probably isn't thinking about me at all.

Any advice on how I can stop feeling like this?
I thought an LDR would get easier with time but for me it really isn't :/
Reply 28
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smorga30
7
Original post by canadamoose
I get that too - whenever we're about to visit one another and we'll be living together for a couple weeks, we always have some of our biggest rows! I think it's just a stress release, but it sucks.


It's heartbreaking. Lately it's that I feel like he doesn't listen properly and it's just bad. We have always been good communicators so it sucks. Why are you long distance? Do you like in Canada permanently? How'd you meet?


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Original post by smorga30
It's heartbreaking. Lately it's that I feel like he doesn't listen properly and it's just bad. We have always been good communicators so it sucks. Why are you long distance? Do you like in Canada permanently? How'd you meet?


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Yeah, I tend to get that as well right before a visit. We're also good communicators; in long distance, you really have to be. I think the whole "pre visit fights" start because they know we'll be together in person shortly, so they don't need to worry about the relationship in the meantime... To me, I think right before a visit is the time to really set it up so that the visit will be great, but I can see where the guys are coming from with this one. It's just a difference of opinion.

My boyfriend and I are long distance because I'm actually a Canadian. I did study abroad for a 8 months last year and we met through a mutual friend (British) who had lived in Canada for a few months in high school. So while I am currently stationed in Canada and living with my family despite being done Uni (bleh), I am saving up to pay off some of my student loans and eventually immigrate to the UK!
Reply 30
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smorga30
7
Original post by canadamoose
Yeah, I tend to get that as well right before a visit. We're also good communicators; in long distance, you really have to be. I think the whole "pre visit fights" start because they know we'll be together in person shortly, so they don't need to worry about the relationship in the meantime... To me, I think right before a visit is the time to really set it up so that the visit will be great, but I can see where the guys are coming from with this one. It's just a difference of opinion.

My boyfriend and I are long distance because I'm actually a Canadian. I did study abroad for a 8 months last year and we met through a mutual friend (British) who had lived in Canada for a few months in high school. So while I am currently stationed in Canada and living with my family despite being done Uni (bleh), I am saving up to pay off some of my student loans and eventually immigrate to the UK!


Oh ok, gotcha. Ya I'm American and am in America and my boyfriend is Welsh in England. We met in Cambodia on a TESOL course and he moved to Thailand and I moved to china. After six weeks I visited him in Thailand and he made it official and six weeks later I moved to Thailand. 15 months and 6 countries later I am headed to the UK for my postgrad. We have been apart 3.5 months now and have a bit under 5 weeks to go.

It's so crazy you say that because he said the same to me. He said he "just wants to get through the summer". Basically saying who cares what happens now and everything will sort itself out. That attitude drives me beyond insane because now I am either constantly sad or angry. It's really becoming a bit overwhelming for me. :frown:


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Original post by smorga30
Oh ok, gotcha. Ya I'm American and am in America and my boyfriend is Welsh in England. We met in Cambodia on a TESOL course and he moved to Thailand and I moved to china. After six weeks I visited him in Thailand and he made it official and six weeks later I moved to Thailand. 15 months and 6 countries later I am headed to the UK for my postgrad. We have been apart 3.5 months now and have a bit under 5 weeks to go.

It's so crazy you say that because he said the same to me. He said he "just wants to get through the summer". Basically saying who cares what happens now and everything will sort itself out. That attitude drives me beyond insane because now I am either constantly sad or angry. It's really becoming a bit overwhelming for me. :frown:


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Wow, that is insane! It's good that you lived in the same country to start at least. Where do you figure the two of you will want to settle once your postgrad is done? I know it's hard deciding who moves - I'm willing to, but only if we budget so that I can visit my family in Canada at least once a year.
Reply 32
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smorga30
7
Original post by canadamoose
Wow, that is insane! It's good that you lived in the same country to start at least. Where do you figure the two of you will want to settle once your postgrad is done? I know it's hard deciding who moves - I'm willing to, but only if we budget so that I can visit my family in Canada at least once a year.


I'm going to move for a while although I'd like to raise my kids in America and he is all for that as he is just like all British people and hates the weather lol. It'll be at least 5 years in UK if all goes to plan.

We have definitely had quite the story and its been so rough. I hope this next phase is the best of our time together so far.


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Reply 33
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AB25
10
Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom
Sometimes I miss my boyfriend so much that I struggle to sleep at night, for badly wanting him here beside me right now :frown:. Argh, this LDR feels like torture sometimes :sigh:
I sympathise with you :frown: feel exactly the same sometimes
Reply 34
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smorga30
7
Original post by AB25
I sympathise with you :frown: feel exactly the same sometimes


Cried in bed last night because I needed a cuddle.


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Original post by canadamoose
I know exactly how you feel. I won't be seeing my boyfriend until Christmas, and it's so hard to move on with your life in the meantime. Everyone always tries to tell you to keep busy and do things, when really, sometimes it's just nice to have a pity party. So I'll join you in your "I feel bad for myself" sort of deal. I feel bad for myself also, and that is ok. You'll get through it until you see him again, as will I, and in the end, everything will work out as it should! For now though, have a good cry, miss him, eat some junk food, wish he were with you, and think of the amazing life that the two of you have ahead of you. :smile:


:biggrin: You're so nice. I feel like we're allowed a pity party every now and again!
Reply 36
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AB25
10
Original post by smorga30
Cried in bed last night because I needed a cuddle.


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Aww, I know that feeling too :frown: its so difficult isn't it? I try to stay up as late as possible talking to friends/watching dvds at night time, and only turn the lights off when i'm about to fall asleep. Saves some difficult tossing and turning
Reply 37
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smorga30
7
Original post by AB25
Aww, I know that feeling too :frown: its so difficult isn't it? I try to stay up as late as possible talking to friends/watching dvds at night time, and only turn the lights off when i'm about to fall asleep. Saves some difficult tossing and turning


Ya I try to go to bed exhausted. Sometimes I wake up upset, though. No matter how much time has passed I still feel upset when I wake up and he isn't there.


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Original post by AB25
I sympathise with you :frown: feel exactly the same sometimes



Original post by smorga30
Cried in bed last night because I needed a cuddle.


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I know this is no replacement, but :hugs: :console: :jumphug:
Reply 39
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smorga30
7
Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom
I know this is no replacement, but :hugs: :console: :jumphug:


Thanks dear :smile:


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