The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II

I met my boyfriend in August and we started dating the day after we met, we're both in our last year at college in the same sixth form. I'm constantly getting asked what our plan is for when we go to uni (he's taking a gap year and staying in africa for six months) and I literally have no idea. You hear so many stories of LDRs not working out and people breaking up after college ends and I hate to think about it. We've spoken every day for the past four months and see each other practically every day; I can't imagine being without him at this point. I'm not sure when the best time to start talking about our furture would be since we haven't been together for that long and it makes me sad to talk about it! Any help would be much appreciated

Well it's all over in my relationship, gutted to say the least.

I'm definitely not as old as mot people on this thread, but here goes. me and my boyfriend are super close we've been official for 2 months and met up twice in that time. but obviously we are both still in full time education and it's difficult to see him because he goes to a full time boarding school even though he lives about 30 mins train away from me. we text everyday, especially now that it's the school holidays. however, he is moving 200 miles away at easter. it's hard enough as it is but our bond is strong. do you think we can make it? we'll definitely meet up every 6 months for 3/4 days at festivals or whatever. my worry is that we're not very similar people and we could easily drift apart without seeing each other regularly.

Is it normal for your long distance partner to never tell you that they miss you? My boyfriend says it very rarely. He says he missed me when we see each other, and that he'll miss me when he leaves, but never "I miss you" when we're apart. He told me it's because he tries not to think about it and telling me would make him feel sad and make me feel sad too, but obviously while I wouldn't want him to feel sad, to me it's nice to know that we're both missing each other and I'm not alone in missing him. I used to tell him that I missed him all of the time but I got a bit fed up of being the only one who ever said it...he's barely said it since I stopped though!

my boyf only says it sometimes if i say it to him and i stopped saying it cos he stopped saying it to me. different guys are different my bf is not overly soppy or needy i know he wants to be with me and would rather i was with him and he DOES miss me he's just not the type to say it. i would rather he did but some guys just arent like that.

Is it normal for your long distance partner to never tell you that they miss you? My boyfriend says it very rarely. He says he missed me when we see each other, and that he'll miss me when he leaves, but never "I miss you" when we're apart. He told me it's because he tries not to think about it and telling me would make him feel sad and make me feel sad too, but obviously while I wouldn't want him to feel sad, to me it's nice to know that we're both missing each other and I'm not alone in missing him. I used to tell him that I missed him all of the time but I got a bit fed up of being the only one who ever said it...he's barely said it since I stopped though!

I met a cool girl on study abroad, who lives in the south of france. I'm going back to Nottingham this semester. We are contemplating whether there is a future in us, come next summer if we stay friends and I go and visit.

Only problem is, I can't speak French and she dislikes England. There could be a future with us in Canada (where I went on study abroad).

My question is, do you think I should just find a new girl in Nottingham, or do you think I should go for the study abroad girl, next summer.

In a practical setting, I can't really see us being together (I can't live in France, she dislikes england and to live in Canada seems a bit of a big commitment coming straight out of Uni - is it?). But having said that, I did really like her (she was my first love). But then I'm thinking, maybe I'm just being a foolish teen. Is it not likely that I could feel the same way about a new girl that I could ask out at university?

The study abroad girl was really great, and we had a lot in common, but I'm not sure if I'm chasing a lost cause by keeping the dream alive (she wants to keep it alive).

I've been in a LDR for 3 years now. I often get a lot of people asking me for advice and I used to have people at school say how proud they were of how strong I was. I had to endure a LDR through sixth form which was hard enough, but then I had to move to uni and do the whole living alone without him which was even harder. I love him more than anything in the world so would never have chosen anything else, but I didn't always love him this much. He moved away to his army college 2 weeks after we got together and he could only talk for 2 hours a day so it really took its tole. However hard it was I wouldn't change it for the world. There are a few things you need to know if you're thinking of starting a LDR or struggling with 1:
1) Be honest with each other - You're not completely in each others lives so if secrets are kept or the truth is twisted this is going to put a strain on both of you. Trust is key in any relationship let alone one as tricky as this.
2) Let them know you care - You don't have to keep a straight face all the time and hide that you miss them for their sake. I did it for a while to protect his feeling but it started to make me distance myself from him.. bad idea!
3) Don't think about the time without them - Focus on the good memories you've had and get excited about the times to come. Look at your glass half full!
4) Don't be afraid to get emotional - Holding in your tears and emotions is the WORSE thing to do. I used to hold it together at school and with my friend (most of the time) but it was so good to come home and cry it all out. Holding it in will just let it build up, but crying is a way of letting it out.
5) Find a hobby - Discover something old or new that you love doing and pour your heart and soul into it! Don't give yourself time to over think who you're missing. For me it was horse riding and running, and with all the time I didn't want to think about him I got pretty damn healthy!
And lastly
6) Don't give up - Relationships are hard work, especially when you can't just hug it out. So if they're worth it, put your back into it! Be prepared for some fights and difficulty but DO NOT just throw the towel in when it gets tough because I promise you, it's so worth it!

I'd love to help anyone who's struggling with this or needs someone to talk to because I know how much you need someone sometimes <3

Thank you for your kind words! I'm really struggling id love to have a chat!

Guys, can someone please give me some advice on this? I've posted on here before with no reply
My boyfriend and I after many years of being together have now gone Long Distance and we're really struggling
The distance is really taking its toll on me and its getting really upsetting, I really don't know what to do.
I don't feel like he's taking our LDR very seriously.
We barely speak anymore, I try to message him every day either through fb or through text just to remind him that he means a lot to me or that I'm thinking of him and he barely ever replies to me, sometimes the only time he texts me is if I text him first and sometimes he doesn't even reply.
Then we barely ever phone or skype at all now. Something always gets in the way and I don't mind that he's got other stuff on but sometimes I feel like I am really the bottom of his priority list whereas he's at the top of mine, I'm always the first thing to be chucked to one side and whenever I talk to him about things that are bothering me with this LDR he always makes really really crappy excuses like "I've got a lot of uni work to do, I miss home I'm finding this hard" And I just feel like telling him well, everyone feels like that but no one else is ignoring people. I mean if he's got that much uni work on (and I get it I really do, I find uni quite difficult time wise as well) it literally takes two seconds to send a text every now and again.
Sometimes, he'll tell me that we'll skype tonight and I get really excited and he either won't skype me or something will get in the way again, which I just find really hurtful actually. Whenever, we talk about this he gets really defensive saying that I'm always blaming him but then nothing ever changes, so we keep having the same argument all because he's not willing to let me know as soon as he can if he can't skype or phone or whatever that night! But he's never willing to change anything to make it any easier for me whereas I've constantly got to accommodate him!
I know I'm not perfect, I do, because I keep having a go at him and I'm sometimes coming across a little bit clingy because I get upset when he chooses his friends over me when we haven't skyped/talked/messaged each other for days and I know that's really bad for me to be like that but sometimes, it does upset me how he feels he has to go to EVERY social event but not skype me ever I mean I want him to socialise I really do but sometimes it feels really crappy when I'm left behind because of that. I dunno. Can someone help? How do I stop being like this? Getting hurt by him so often? What can I do to change this?