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Serious advice needed: the one that got away

This is long, but I need/want objective advice from people that don't know me or him. Basically my ex and I were on and off for 2 years, then this time last year we broke up for what I thought was good, he had a new girlfriend, joined the army and moved to catterick for training. He's home on summer leave at the moment, and on Wednesday I received this apology:
"Hello there, sorry about whatever has happened in the past. And whatever I done wrong to you or anything like that. I look back now and go **** I was a dick. Sorry for it all. Hope you can forgive me at some stage. As now I know how much of a dick I truly was. Sorry"

We spoke after this and I said that it was okay, we were younger (I'm 22 now and he's 21) and things happen. We met up and spoke a lot, he said that being in the army had changed him and he realised what he'd messed up and what he really wanted, so we agreed to try again, and take things slowly. Since then he's been lovely, but I'm worrying that he's not changed, he went out last night and was saying to friends, in front of me, that he couldn't wait to pull, and he'd find somewhere to stay. I don't know if it's bravado or if he just isn't ever going to change. But I still have serious feelings for him, and to this day they haven't gone away. I still care for him but I don't want to get hurt again, because that was the most painful thing I'd ever gone through.
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Capn cas
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You didn't specify, but i'm guessing he broke up with the 'new girl' after you?
Guys do this thing (and i've been guilty of it recently) where if their potentials or pool of girls is small or most likely non existent, then they will recontact ex's or girls they used to flirt with. If you want to catch him off guard you could ask him something along the lines of "so what did you learn in the army to change you?" or "so what made you change?", most guys would be swayed by this, all will probably stutter and babble some nonsense whilst thinking of an answer to please you (and you should watch his body language as he answers this). Also it ties in with your observation of "saying to friends, in front of me, that he couldn't wait to pull", this does not sound like a changed guy, a guy who values his girl more than his own ego or wants. On a personal note, I have been interested in a girl since the moment I met her over a year ago, and although a lot of my friends banter/tease/ incline stuff about us: I have never said a bad thing about her, or anything that would demean her to boost my 'street cred' because I respect her and cheesy as it sounds have fallen for her.
Do you know why you're 'worrying that he's not changed', because this is your instinct. You are choosing to not follow your instinct because you 'still have serious feelings for him', and that is cool because I am not here to critique you. The choice is yours,but whether it be with this guy or not, you should not be afraid to be hurt again because then you're never really opening up and loving someone new. Instead shielding yourself and your heart.
Good luck!
You just understood that way more than anyone else has. Yeah he broke up with the other girl a few months ago, we did talk about this, and a wee bit about why he'd changed, all he could say was that it made him realise what he wanted. I just need to think a lot about this in the next few days. Thank you!
An ex is an ex for a reason. this has happened to me before, my first boyfriend was awful and kissed another girl who he ended up dating (and cheated on also). months later he decides to message me saying sorry etc etc. my recent ex did the same, months after we broke up he decided to email me saying sorry for cheating on me etc. its all rubbish. people dont realise what theyve got til its gone. you dont see them being that sorry at the time, do you? its only months later when theyre lonely or no one wants them that they suddenly feel guilty and want to make things up to you. yeah some people can be genuinely sorry, but after what you said about him wanting to pull, he's clearly an insensitive ass. and youd be better off without him, as you most likely already have been. dont let him take you for a ride because he thinks he can say sorry and suddenly all is forgiven and he can have you back with a click of his fingers. he would need to actually prove he'd changed in any way and by the sounds of it he isnt doing a very good job. most likely he was just trying to "impress the lads" but who wants a guy like that? respect yourself and do what will make you happy in the long term.
Thank you, I get what your saying. I've been speaking to him this morning, but he has such a hangover I'm not going to get any sense out of him for a few hours at least. Yeah I guess he's just trying to impress his mates/ keep me around. I'm going ot have aserious talk with him over the next few days and hopefully sort something out for once and for all.

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