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I'm just getting fatter and fatter. Don't know what to do :(

Posted in health rather than fitness for anon purposes.

I've had an awful day eating wise, and it's put the cherry on the cake to know I have now hit 14 stone. I'm 5 foot 5, so you can probably imagine I'm pretty big, since I'm not that tall. The lowest I've ever been was 11 stone, so I've never been thin per se, but looking at old photos of myself makes me so upset. I looked great. Then before I know it I've put on 14 stone.I don't want to be arrogant but it hurts even more because I'm not an unattractive girl. When I was smaller I got lots of male attention, and my face is generally fat free, it's all gone to my body.

I know the hate fat people get on this forum. 'eat less move more', right? It's not that easy though! Not when your mind won't let you ignore that craving. Today I had a normal day eating wise, but then Tesco had Haribo on BOGOF, so I got some, and then I ate both packets throughout the day. I had dinner at 6ish, then at 10 my mum asked if I wanted a chinese and I can't say no, so I've had two dinners really. I feel so ashamed. I have obese parents which doesn't help, since they eat so much and eat loads of takeaways that I'm getting offered.

I hate exercise. I'd prefer to diet anyday. I find going to the gym really boring. I have a membership though.

I don't really know what I want people to say. I just feel so damn down and ashamed of myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend who hasn't said a thing to me, but I can't help thinking he must be getting sick of having a fat girlfriend because I was two stone lighter when we met. There's a really obese girl I was friends with in college who must have been about 20 odd stone. She's lost two and a half stone recently. Not enough for her, but if she can lose that much I just feel even worse knowing I can't.

I don't want to look like this anymore. I look in the mirror and cry. My lovely clothes don't fit anymore, and I feel so helpless. I'm not concerned about my health if I'm honest. I'm more concerned with my image and self-esteem. I know, I know - I can change this, but my mind won;t let me. I just want to have a normal person's outlook on food.

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Reply 1
Old habits take a long time and a ridiculous amount of effort to break. You CAN do it, you're setting yourself up to fail before you've taken the first steps.
When you're overweight, everything becomes an excuse; "I can't exercise", "But my family eat like crap" and so on. There is a point where the excuses have to stop. If your weight is making you unhappy you need to do something about it. All our advice will be useless to you unless you find the willpower to implement change.

It's a really crappy place to be in but you have the power to get yourself fitter.

I wish you the best of luck.

P.S. Exercise is more beneficial than a diet. Going from zero exercise to exercising 2-3 times a week will make the weight melt off.
(edited 10 years ago)
Stop eating so much and exercise
"b-but I can't..."
well then it looks like you'll not be losing weight any time soon then

I don't mean to sound condescending or offensive but that's the be-all-and-end-all of the matter. There's a little thing called will power that you should invest in. If you're not willing to sacrifice and work hard to lose weight then you're not going to.
Is 'eat less move more' classified as hate towards fat people now? It is that simple. You say you'd rather diet than exercise but you clearly lack self discipline when it comes to eating so you'll need to try to help yourself a bit more. First start by ending the excuses you're making for yourself.

Start exercising slowly by either walking more or going to the gym semi regularly. With regards to eating, either try doing your own shopping and cooking more (which is pretty fun) or control your portions more. It'll be difficult at first but if you really want to improve yourself, you'll need to do that. Another thing you can start with is cutting fizzy drinks out of your diet.
Reply 4
It's all about prioritising the things that you find most important.
If you know that being fitter and slimmer would make you happier and happiness is your ultimate aim then, when you're ready, you will quit eating so much takeaway no matter how hard it is.
My best advice;

1. Buy a bunch of healthy foods that you enjoy, get some plastic tubs and bags and spend a day making healthy snacks that you can grab out of your kitchen on the run.
There's a bunch of recipes online for healthy granola bars that are really good! Make a few and grab one with fruit between meals.
If you have your dinner ready prepared in the fridge before you even get home, then if your parents ask if you want takeaway food, it's easier to decline because you already have something ready to eat in the fridge!!

2. Start tracking what you eat with a MyFitnessPal type of app and be honest with yourself!!

3. Learn what 100 calories looks like!! Try to make your in between snacks around 100kcals and keep your meals around 300-600 calories.

4. If you really dislike exercise, try just walking up stairs instead of taking the lift, if you drive then park further away from your destination so that you can get more steps in or if you use public transport then get off the bus a stop earlier, it's not a big effort but it will make a difference to your fitness!!

5. Try yoga. Personally, it's made me feel a lot more confident about my body and I think it's given me more energy to workout at the gym and take gym classes sometimes.

I hope this helped! :smile:



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Reply 5
There's no point feeling sorry for yourself or thinking up excuses, It really is as simple as eat less move more. Ask yourself, whats more important to you? Eating haribos or looking/feeling good? Do you value the enjoyment of eating over the desire to lose weight? People double your size can do it, so you can do it.
Go on a diet.
Reply 7
You don't have to go to the gym to do exercise!
It's really not that hard, it's the simple things. Eg walk to the shops instead of taking the car, never use lifts or escalators, park further away from things than you normally would and walk the rest, go for a bike ride with friends occasionally etc etc etc.

Old habits can be hard to break, so don't break them, slowly ease off. Eg when you're offered a Chinese accept it, but ask for only half of what you usually get. You could also ask your parents to help by not offering you so much food.
Reply 8
Try Slimming World if there is a group near you, my mum had been there since January 2012 and has not lost 8 stone. Shes gone from a size 18-to a 14 now so the diet and food changes do work, the lasagne is awesome.

Also, simply dont buy the sweet or fatty foods. If they arent in the house, you cant eat them.
Fill up on water, youll feel less hungry and its good for your skin.


OH and get one of those actifry things, guilt free chips!

Good luck, I'm also trying to loose weight. Im 13 stone and a few inches shorter so were probably in the same posititon :smile:
Reply 9
It seems a bit obvious but join weight watchers/slimming world. Thats what I'm going to do when term starts and it really does work as my friend lost 2 stone, my mum lost 3... Some people will be able to magically keep away from the fatty food and eat three small healthy meals a day. Others struggle with their love for food (I know how your feeling 100%!) and need someone to literally spell out how to lose weight. Also you still get to get treats and takeaways and stuff. The only thing is if you don't change your lifestyle permanently you're just going to put it all on again when you stop. The way to do it is only having a takeaway once a week or something, or if you are going to have a takeaway or some treats, make sure you eat lightly the next day. But yes, I am the same. I used to be really good - I went to the gym daily and got slim which was amazing but my problem is that I'm lazy and don't put any thought into my food and stopped going to the gym. So I put it back on again. :/ We can do it though!
Reply 10
To put it bluntly, you need to set your priorities straight: the food or your image?
Original post by Ashahedow

P.S. Exercise is more beneficial than a diet. Going from zero exercise to exercising 2-3 times a week will make the weight melt off.


not in my experience it wasn't... When I first tried to lose weight I kept my normal diet but went to the gym a few times a week and it didn't help at all. Only when I started to watch what I was eating did the weight come off, and by the time I lost a third stone, it was all done by diet. Admittedly, I'm not happy with my figure, but exercise can be used to tone up afterwards, getting what you eat under control is the most important :smile:
I read somewhere that that getting weight under control is 70% diet, 30% exercise.

OP- it's been said many times before, but to get to your ideal weight, you should diet. To get your ideal body, you should exercise.
I was in a similar sitaution to you- 5 foot 5 and a bmi of 30ish, which kept increasing. I used to always eat junk and buy bags of sweets and stuff with my lunch everyday. Over the summer holidays last year I got really motivated and decided to lose weight-I have now lost 3 stone and am a healthy weight for just about the first time in my life. I can't say it was easy at all- it was really hard to keep motivated and eat healthily, especially as my family wasn't really aware I was trying to lose weight. For me it was small changes that helped- fruit for snacks instead of biscuits and crisps, turning down second helpings, choosing a salad for lunch and having fruit for breakfast. I just made sure I watched my calorie intake and tried to cut down by a few hundred a day.
I know it can seem really daunting and just like you can't do anything, but it really is possible and I'm sure you can do it :smile: I never thought I could lose weight, I thought I'd just be fat forever, but if you can get the determination to sort your body out, then it's very doable. I wish you the best of luck :smile: x
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
not in my experience it wasn't... When I first tried to lose weight I kept my normal diet but went to the gym a few times a week and it didn't help at all. Only when I started to watch what I was eating did the weight come off, and by the time I lost a third stone, it was all done by diet. Admittedly, I'm not happy with my figure, but exercise can be used to tone up afterwards, getting what you eat under control is the most important :smile:
I read somewhere that that getting weight under control is 70% diet, 30% exercise.

OP- it's been said many times before, but to get to your ideal weight, you should diet. To get your ideal body, you should exercise.
I was in a similar sitaution to you- 5 foot 5 and a bmi of 30ish, which kept increasing. I used to always eat junk and buy bags of sweets and stuff with my lunch everyday. Over the summer holidays last year I got really motivated and decided to lose weight-I have now lost 3 stone and am a healthy weight for just about the first time in my life. I can't say it was easy at all- it was really hard to keep motivated and eat healthily, especially as my family wasn't really aware I was trying to lose weight. For me it was small changes that helped- fruit for snacks instead of biscuits and crisps, turning down second helpings, choosing a salad for lunch and having fruit for breakfast. I just made sure I watched my calorie intake and tried to cut down by a few hundred a day.
I know it can seem really daunting and just like you can't do anything, but it really is possible and I'm sure you can do it :smile: I never thought I could lose weight, I thought I'd just be fat forever, but if you can get the determination to sort your body out, then it's very doable. I wish you the best of luck :smile: x



Dieting without exercise does little for visible weightloss. You simply won't look as good. A combination of the two is best. I was pointing this out as the OP expressed an aversion to exercise.
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 13
If you don't like the gym why not get a exercise bike or one of those stepper things, and use it while you watch tv.
Reply 14
You need to eat less meat like the pork because the majority of people I know don't eat much pork and are very fit and healthy.
Reply 15
I should suggest that you sort out your entire diet if you plan on losing weight. I also ask that you read the below thread for additional useful advise from me and other forumites.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2415605
I sympathise with you as it's obvious from your post that you suffer from low self-confidence and anxiety which is something that we all experience at one time or another in our lives. I know what it feels like to know what is right and yet feel like doing what is right seems out of your control. Although a healthy diet will do much to solve it, it requires something else that has nothing to do with food i.e. a different mode of thinking.

You are right: 'eat less, move more', but weight loss is so much more than that. Have you ever seen any health shows on TV where people manage to lose weight? They tend to always start off unhappy but by the end of the programme they are always healthier and just as importantly happier. Even if we disregard any TV trickery it would be hard to imagine healthy weight loss to not have a positive impact on mood. By remedying this negative part of your life you can open up

What you need is motivation, preferably internal as well as external. What I mean by this is that you need to want to be a healthier weight - you want to feel happier, you want to feel healthier, and you want to feel like you can walk past a BOGOF offer on Haribo without batting an eyelid.

In the assumption that you are at least curious and motivated enough to lose some weight perform these simple tasks:

1) Watch this.

Spoiler


Barring any exceptional health conditions, ANYONE can lose weight.

2) Text your boyfriend this: "Hey, I've decided that my current weight is unhealthy. Therefore I've decided to clean up my diet and I need your support on this." Unless you're some sort of emotionless robot (like me) make it more informal. The point is you need an external motivator, someone to whom you will feel accountable to in case you suffer a lapse of judgement.

3) Taper down your snacking habits until you don't snack at all (at least on sugary treats). An example would be deciding to not go above 2 bags of sweets tommorow if you usually have 3, or you can even replace it with a sweet tasty carrot. Even if your snacking is unstructured, there will always be a systematic cause either direct or indirect that is contributing to it. Be it the route that you take to school or the sweets aisle at the supermarket, there's always something you can do to protect yourself from temptation. If you happen to have a stockpile of sugary crap, ban all further purchases of such crap and consider giving away your snacks bit by bit. The whole point is to not rush into things but to ease yourself in.

4) Say NO to those ridiculous late-night dinners. Obviously I have no idea what your relationship is like with your mother (although it shouldn't be so bad if she offers you food), but learn to say 'No thanks mum, I think I'm done for the day' with a nice big smile on your face.

5) Cancel your gym membership and get some dumbells. Saves you money and I'm pretty damn sure you won't go in any time soon. Anyway, maintainance of lean muscle i.e. weight lifting is mandatory if you want to end up looking nice and healthy rather than like an anorexic.

There is a wealth of information on the Internet that can make adjusting your eating lifestyle much easier and more pleasant - 'dieting' doesn't have to be painful at all. See your GP if you're unsure on how to start - you might even want some help on how your mental health is affecting your physical health. Also, IANAD.
I'm in the same boat, Thing is, I have lost weight in the past, I lost 2 stone on slimming world, but then I stop and I put it all back on again and more on top. Its getting into lifelong eating habits thats difficult for me. I know I can lose weight and I need to make a big effort to right now, but I struggle to motivate myself. Its just demoralising to lose weight and then pile it on again... I need something I can stick to and enjoy long term, because diets quickly get boring and difficult in social situations.
Ah, sorry to hear this!

Uhm okay, first of all, I am sorry to say that you really DO need to exercise if you want to look good. Just dieting will probably leave a whole load of stretch marks and your skin won't look too good either. I absolutely hate the gym, but I quite enjoy jogging. I used to be the typical kid who absolutely HATED exercise and had a really bad time during sports class at school. But then one day I started jogging and haven't stopped in two years. Once you finish running you will feel SO GOOD, SO PROUD of yourself, like you are the queen of the world! you will want to do it again. So pleeeease! try just going once, and doing a bit of jogging and then some walking and, above all, don't despair! you will get a lot better with time!

Once you start exercising it will be a lot easier for you to drop the junk food because you will be feeling a lot better about yourself and about your body. I like my body and I like how I look, but I won't stop jogging because I need it for my mental health. I feel so much happier if I exercise through the week, it makes me feel so positive about things!

Just give it a go! you don't have anything to lose :wink:

And about the food, well, you clearly need to increase your will power and self-control. You have to understand that you can't eat what you want when you want whenever you want, and that that is going to be specially hard for you bearing in mind that your parents are constantly eating. At my place, my brother and father eat SO much, and they are both thin! So i'm quite envious about that, but, on the other hand, I know I am much more healthy than they are. And also, I wouldn't want to eat chips/pizza/pasta every night - I would just feel like s*ht afterwards.

So, I know this is quite long (sorry for that), but all you can do is get up in this very moment, put a pair of trainers on, and go out! IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT, trust me :smile:


good luck!!!!!
Reply 19
Even if you diet you still need to exercise . Everybody needs to but hardly anybody does. Diet with exercise is the best way to go. It is hard but in the long run if you keep exercising after you lose the weight then you will be healthier in general and less likely to fluctuate in weight . And if you don't like exercise then try to make it fun. You could go to a zumba, booiaka or dance class . Pilates is also really effective . And if you don't want to pay for classes then do some jogging . But you NEED to exercise as well as diet !!

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