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"Girlfriend" wants other guys

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her words: "she's closer to me than she ever will be with anyone else".

Very manipulative. She obviously doesn't feel like this so why say it :rolleyes:

She also says she loves me but is not in love with me ..

She's a pussy, she's just thrown that in there to soften the blow.

To be honest, her moving in with me and being not committed would kill me inside (if i knew she was doing stuff with other guys) - but i guess it's better than nothing at all?

It's not, it will drive you mad. **** her off. Going by what you've posted it seems like you were just her backup guy tbh.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 41

CJKay

Original post by Anonymous

I think maybe it's better to have the pain of her getting with others if at least i get to stay with her.

Are you a man or are you some woman's napkin?

Reply 42

AmyAintDead

Original post by zaback21

But isn't that always so when you in love ? One has to be in love crazily to be able to feel like this which I once did. I took me almost 2 years to be finally get over her. So, yes I am glad it was over cos I can't imagine living in hell for the rest of my life. And sadly I couldn't leave her. She dumped me, it hurt me so much that my heart stopped loving her while I still wanted her. Eventually I get over her even after she wanted me back. I was blind.

You've got a fair point, and I know you're right, and I'm still getting over my ex and it is very difficult for me. I have had friends knocking sense into me with tough love and they've done me a world of good.

Reply 43

economist2

Original post by Anonymous

Utter rubbish! We were living together back in uni like i said and she spent every night in my bed. She is NOT a liar and would put ALL my money on the fact that she has not done anything with other guys.

Were you in bed with her?I thought you were just friends. :confused:

Reply 44

Brachioradialis

Ultimatum time. Tell her it's only you or someone else, not half way. Tell her that if she's scared of committing after saying she loves you, then she obviously doesn't love you and it's time to end it. Reinforce that you're the best guy she's ever had, and the sort of guy's who would like that sort of sharing relationship are the guys you don't want to be with.

Reply 45

Anonymous #1

Original post by economist2

Were you in bed with her?I thought you were just friends. :confused:

Yeah, that's what i meant by we've been "together" for a while, we've been very sexually active ourselves.

Reply 46

zaback21

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, that's what i meant by we've been "together" for a while, we've been very sexually active ourselves.

So you got nothing to worry about. I don't understand why you need to post this thread in the first place. You seem very confident of her when we say she might be with other guy. But when people here read your posts it seems like you are very insecure. Just talk and find out what you want and what she want.If you guys been sleeping in the same bed all year around I don't see how can that be difficult. Either keep on sleeping with her or find out what you guys want.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 47

zaback21

Original post by AmyAintDead

Well aren't we glad we had that relationship. Now hopefully you and me won't fall for such again. Thats how I guess you learn and get mature in life.

Reply 48

meenu89

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, that's what i meant by we've been "together" for a while, we've been very sexually active ourselves.

So even despite what you are saying here, she is still not happy committing to you? Something doesn't sound right here to me.

Reply 49

Oldiebutgoodie

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, that's what i meant by we've been "together" for a while, we've been very sexually active ourselves.

If the comment from her friend "you won't be able to be with other guys" freaked her out, You have to ask yourself why she became freaked. The fact that she has slept in your bed every night is neither here nor there. If she hadn't been with anyone else she wouldn't of become shook up. It seems she was intending to get a place with you based on the original rules of engagement, her friend has made her think again. I think you should too.

Reply 50

L.O.V.E

I think you're only going to get hurt if you move in together, you both seem to want different things and it doesn't sound like she's going to change anytime soon. If it only takes a few words from a friend to put her off moving in with you then she definitely isn't ready to commit to one person. I think you should have a long talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel. It's your call but it sounds like the commitment to the relationship is much too one sided to me.

Reply 51

Anonymous #1

The situation currently is that we're discussing what to do, but because of what her friend said, she's unsure about moving in with me now - she thinks we'll be committed and she doesn't like that (entirely understandable given past experiences) - i just don't want to lose her and it seems like i am ..

Reply 52

zaback21

Original post by Anonymous

The only solution to your problem: Bang her friend.

This way the universe will balance itself from the mess her friend created.

500 days of TSR

your girl seems like a scatty ***, you need to control your ***

Reply 55

chapman281195631

If she's born for you, you will get her definitely. but by contrast, whatever you do, you two guys will never walk down togeter for long

Reply 56

Studentus-anonymous

TBF op you kind of allowed this to happen by not making sure things were official. Even a lnog term ****-buddy is still just a ****-buddy.

She sounds like she has quite severe commitment issues so I'd bin the whole moving in together thing and honestly would probably bin her to.

Best of luck.

Reply 57

username917703

Original post by Studentus-anonymous

I agree with this but didn't wanna say cos I don't want the OP to feel bad. I think he's been a bit naive (not his fault, I've done this too) and hoped for a happy ending because he loves her but it's obvious from what he's posted that that was never gonna happen.

Reply 58

dav14

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, annoying situation really.

One of my best friends, a girl, lived with me in my final year of uni. Things eventually escalated between us and we ended up as an item. I use that term lightly as she was quite adamant that she didn't want to commit.

Anyhow, we've been "together" for nearly a year now and i'm now madly in love with her. During this time she's always had the option to do sexual stuff with other guys, but never has. She's very close to me, her words: "she's closer to me than she ever will be with anyone else".

The plan was to move in together soon, when we both have jobs, however her friend told her last night "if you move in with him then you won't be able to get with other guys" - and this has scared her. Now she's concerned about moving in with me and has said we lack passion and she finds other guys more attractive than me .. She also says she loves me but is not in love with me ..

Is there any way i can save this as i love her to bits and don't want to lose her. She's a friendly person so we're always on speaking terms, it's not a fight as such - and we have suggested the possibility of her moving in with me on a trial run both being committed and not committed - all just ideas at this stage. To be honest, her moving in with me and being not committed would kill me inside (if i knew she was doing stuff with other guys) - but i guess it's better than nothing at all?

Need opinions, thoughts, suggestions and whatever. Sorry if grammar is poor - i didn't sleep all night because of this and i'm so distraught right now :frown:

Mate she has so been banging other guys, shes an eff-ing liar man.

If i was you and since you really like this girl and you think shes so great, try n see other people and if shes the angel you think she is and is so nice n friendly to talk to then she wont disappear.

Telling you, Im a guy n heartbreak is awful n painful, so you can either wait for the inevitable with this poisonous cow or you find someone who deserves you- coz she doesnt mate. I find also that when u r heart broken slash hung up on a girl the only way to get over it or at least improve your mood is to move on, thats why im suggesting doing it now, at your own accord, before she further hurts you.

Good luck. No girl is perfect mate, remember that.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 59

username917703

Original post by dav14

Mate she has so been ****ing about with other guys, shes a ****ing liar man.

If i was you and since you really like this girl and you think shes so great, try n see other people and if shes the angel you think she is and is so nice n friendly to talk to then she wont disappear.

Telling you, Im a guy n heartbreak is awful n painful, so you can either wait for the inevitable with this poisonous cow or you find someone who deserves you- coz she doesnt mate. I find also that when u r heart broken slash hung up on a girl the only way to get over it or at least improve your mood is to move on, thats why im suggesting doing it now, at your own accord, before she further hurts you.

Good luck. No girl is perfect mate, remember that.

Edit your post. Avoiding the swear filter will get you a ban, just a heads up.