Men: 10 rules for managing your penis

Today, I have just read one of the most idiotic articles in my life.

By Suzanne Moore: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/aug/07/10-rules-managing-penis-sexting-wine-toaster

I imagine if it were the other way round, and a man had written something like this, there would be females wanting balls on a plate :colone:

And the guardian is regarded as a quality paper. Please :colonhash:

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Reply 1

sugar-n-spice

It's annoying because she (not so) subtlety inserted her own political beliefs in there too.

Reply 2

danielnkwocha

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

And the guardian is regarded as a quality paper. Please :colonhash:

Some of these are smart, I agree there should be more male hygiene products out there.

As for "do not put your penis in household objects"... :rolleyes:

Reply 3

Chief Wiggum

Yeah, I saw it and thought it was pretty ridiculous for a supposedly serious newspaper.

If it were the other way round, it would be accused of "trivialising female genital mutilation", and get at least three Guardian Comment Is Free articles decrying it as "indicative of the rampant misogyny which still pervades modern society". :p:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

desdemonata

The best part was reading that Bieber's penis has been named by his fans :rofl:

Edit: wait, is number 7 actually saying "don't be gay"? Seriously? The one about rape is facepalm enough ("wow thanks for telling me! I'd never have known otherwise that non-consensual sex was bad!!!") but that's actually ridiculous.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 5

Phoebe Buffay

Original post by danielnkwocha

Some of these are smart, I agree there should be more male hygiene products out there.

As for "do not put your penis in household objects"... :rolleyes:

To be honest, the one that got me was ' Do not ever put your penis into someone who does not want this' :zomg:

As if it needs saying :confused:

Reply 6

Happydude

Original post by danielnkwocha

Some of these are smart, I agree there should be more male hygiene products out there.

As for "do not put your penis in household objects"... :rolleyes:

A good shower suffices if you take care to wash properly. A useful alternative is simply baby wipes which you can get on the cheap.

But yes, a totally ridiculous and offensive article. Not to mention that 7 is homophobic.

Reply 7

Genocidal

Someone has sand in their vagina...

Reply 8

danielnkwocha

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

To be honest, the one that got me was 'Do not ever put your penis into someone who does not want this' :zomg:

As if it needs saying :confused:

It's almost as if every man needed reminding

Original post by Happydude

This is very true, it's a good thing soap doesn't sting :borat:

And I can't even begin to be upset with the rest of the offensive stuff...

Reply 9

Ripper-Roo

Gotta be a troll. But... It's not even funny. :facepalm:

Reply 10

Inzamam99

"Do not put household objects in your vagina".

"Do not derive pleasure from your vagina with other women".

Oh look, I'am suddenly sexist.

Reply 11

Harley

7) Do not derive pleasure from your penis with other men. In several countries attitudes to homosexuality are hardening and the focus is usually on gay men. In 38 African countries homosexuality is illegal. Robert Mugabe has described gay people as "worse than pigs". The situation in Russia is dire, with Vladimir Putin pushing forward anti-gay legislation and neo-Nazis beating and even killing gay people. This is why Stephen Fry is rightly calling for Russia to be stripped of the 2014 Winter Olympics.

This bit confuses me. By the title it seems homophobic but then she says it's right for Russia to be stripped of the games :confused:

Reply 12

HashimKF

Can't believe people get paid to write this ****.

Reply 13

AntiMonarchist

Original post by Phoebe Buffay

And the guardian is regarded as a quality paper. Please :colonhash:

Only sanctimonious champagne socialists regard the Gruniad as a quality paper.

Reply 14

Chief Wiggum

Original post by Harley

This bit confuses me. By the title it seems homophobic but then she says it's right for Russia to be stripped of the games :confused:

I think she might be saying that "public opinion" is often homophobic? As in, "Do not derive pleasure from your penis with other men" is what she is saying that other people may wrongly tell men.

Reply 15

Maharaja

@Number 6. - I'll name my penis whatever I damn well please! This woman is a moron, and I have no idea how she's been employed to write this drivel about the male sex organ.

Reply 16

Truflais

Why would anyone think that sticking their penis in a toaster is a good idea? What a bizarre article...

Reply 17

puma21

Why is this woman telling men what to do with their penis?

Reply 18

Ornlu

Original post by eliza.anne

Why would anyone think that sticking their penis in a toaster is a good idea? What a bizarre article...

It's funny that you would think that but... :colondollar:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 19

montstar

Just a load of slightly sexist rubbish written to cause controversy and bring in more clicks, hence more ad revenue.

It fails as both humour and serious advice because the two are mixed up. On the one hand you have humorous points about sticking your penis in a toaster, then the oh so 'helpful' advice not to rape, then we're told men shouldn't be homosexual, a point meant to be sarcastic but completely fails in the context of the article.

Poorly written, undertones of misandry, written just to cause outrage. I'm not giving this article any more of my time, it's not worth it.