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4 dates no spark?

Hi,

So I have been seeing this girl for 4 dates now (all basically just meeting for dinner). We get on really well, seem compatible (similar views on important topics like marriage etc), and eveyrthing is fine.

Unfortunately, when asking about "us" she says she does not feel any spark and it may come or it may not. She did say it takes a long time for her to like someone and did suggest we do something else to get to know each other better (a good idea I feel, as 4 dinner dates and a few months of txtn doesn't seem enough to have a relationship).

So my question is (Even though I am up for meeting further), does this sound like a 50/50 deal (how I percieve it) or like nothing will happen at all? I am assuming there isn't much I can do to build the spark but be creative in what we do at least. Things like confidence is all good.

Thanks

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Oh yeah I have also read hundreds of descriptions of what the spark means. Some people say it's down to physical attraction, which is something she has said she does not care about. I'm quite confused on what the spark even is (have considered asking her for her definition).

Reply 2

Holby_fanatic

If you want to continue seeing her, then go for it. If nothing develops, move on.

Reply 3

Horny Cabbage

Perform the "Naked man" routine on her, that will surely create some sparks :wink:

Reply 4

Gilgamesh

Do something a bit different. Go to a supermarket on a sunny day and buy food for a picnic together, then go out on a nice grassy area and chill out with her.

Reply 5

LavenderBlueSky88

Sounds like she's stringing you along tbh. She either likes you or she doesn't. Call me cynical but it appears she is using you as a stop gap till someone else comes along.

Reply 6

EllieDxxx

I'd give it longer :smile:

maybe go on some more dates, but perhaps more hanging out dates rather than going out for dinner, maybe like bowling, iceskating, minigolf? And just see how it goes from there :smile:

the fact that she's not said that it won't work is always a good sign, and the spark may take time to develop, but it could always be there!

Reply 7

Millie228

If it was me, then no - nothing would come of it at all.

I would say that people are different, but 4 dinner dates seem like more than enough. After all, these are romantic settings where you have time to chat and get to know each other. There is no better setting to get to know each other.
Every guy I have dated, I have known whether I am seriously into him after one dinner date (three hours conversation and a goodnight kiss with some touching). They say girls know whether they want to date, marry or reject a guy within 5 seconds - it may be an exaggeration, but the saying is there for a reason.

If you have made no move at all, then it is entirely possible she does not see you sexually. But I would say it is more likely than not that you are spending time with a girl who, at best, will be half arsed about you.
I won't have sex on a first date, but with a guy I really like, I will be fighting my urge to do so. If she doesn't seem passionate about this, she's just not. Either she is unbelievably abnormal or she is a girl who's looking to have a boyfriend for the sake of it, even if she isn't nuts about him.

If there was true passion here, she wouldn't even think to say there was "no spark".

Reply 8

Zechs

I think you should bring an end to it can't believe you've been on four dates already than the girl says there is no spark, you will see some other guy will come along and she will be gone in a second don't waste your time. Like Lavender said she's stringing you along. Does not take this long to know if a relationship is going somewhere or not get some respect for yourself and end it.