The Student Room Group

What are you most scared about for when you start university?

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Reply 40
Original post by roh



Surely channel that towards helping overcome it? No use studying mega hard for a presentation only to clam up because you struggle to cope with the situation.


Umm But she wants a first, she must focus and not worry about social shenanigans
Original post by SophieSmall
Not being able to turn around my social anxiety, being a shut in and ending up really lonely. :frown:


You are there to get a first and succeed nothing else
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by victoriahowells
What subject are you taking? My subject doesn't call for any presentations until third year and then they're not in front of many people.

Also, don't worry about doing well on your course. That's completely in your control and something you can methodicaly work towards. I got 68% average in my first year which is just under a first but I know it's because I was very ill and injured for the last two months of the year.

Just work calmy and pay attention, and don't do skimpy revision! I started revising at Easter and it meant I did quite well in a lot of my modules. :biggrin:


Fashion merchandise management. Thanks for the advice :smile:
Reply 42
Having room-mates who think Superman is better than Batman
Original post by BOdy Odour
Umm But she wants a first, she must focus and not worry about social shenanigans

You are there to get a first and succeed nothing else


Getting a first is my main goal yes, but university is a good opportunity for me to learn good social skills, and whether you believe it or not social skills are important in the working world.
Original post by SophieSmall
Not being able to turn around my social anxiety, being a shut in and ending up really lonely. :frown:


I wish universities had societies for just socially anxious people like us. :frown:
Reply 45
Original post by SophieSmall
Getting a first is my main goal yes, but university is a good opportunity for me to learn good social skills, and whether you believe it or not social skills are important in the working world.


Such as what
sex before marriage?
Reply 46
I'm not scared to being independent, I'm most worried about not making any friends :frown:
Reply 47
Original post by BOdy Odour
Umm But she wants a first, she must focus and not worry about social shenanigans

You are there to get a first and succeed nothing else


You can have both a first and a social life.

More pertinently here she worries her lack of confidence in social situations will damage her academic performance, presentations, and will certainly hurt her job chances down the line (ACs are all group exercises, presentations and interviews ie. social stuff), so working to improve her confidence in such situations is probably a very good idea.

No matter how brilliant a candidate's grades are if they can't do well in a team or with clients they'll struggle to get a job.
The fact that I won't be able to eat good quality seafood for a year because everyone is catered for. Seriously.
Original post by Maid Marian
I wish universities had societies for just socially anxious people like us. :frown:


Me too :frown: I really really try to be more social and to talk but it literally makes me feel ill, I get really hot and sweaty (gross) I go red and start to feel nauseous. I feel like no one really understand because all I ever get is people saying "oh you'll be fine, just make conversation..be yourself" Yep I have tried that. :frown:
Original post by BOdy Odour
Such as what
sex before marriage?


That doesn't even make any sense, you're not a talented troll.
Original post by SophieSmall
Me too :frown: I really really try to be more social and to talk but it literally makes me feel ill, I get really hot and sweaty (gross) I go red and start to feel nauseous. I feel like no one really understand because all I ever get is people saying "oh you'll be fine, just make conversation..be yourself" Yep I have tried that. :frown:


I feel you :console: I find it SOOOO impossibly hard to be sociable and make conversations. I have no confidence and I get so nervous. :frown: I'm almost certain I'm not going to make any friends, unless I find another person like me on my course. :erm: :frown:
Reply 52
Original post by roh
You can have both a first and a social life.


She is not capable


More pertinently here she worries her lack of confidence in social situations will damage her academic performance, presentations, and will certainly hurt her job chances down the line (ACs are all group exercises, presentations and interviews ie. social stuff), so working to improve her confidence in such situations is probably a very good idea.


She has to overcome it, by focusing on her writing work to get the first and therefore make her confident to get the job

Then again what degree is she doing, it may be pointless
No matter how brilliant a candidate's grades are if they can't do well in a team or with clients they'll struggle to get a job.


But getting a first will improve her confidence


Original post by SophieSmall
That doesn't even make any sense,


How does it not?

what social skills will you learn apart from that?
Having to cook for myself. My culinary talents just about extend to 'things on toast'.
Original post by Maid Marian
I feel you :console: I find it SOOOO impossibly hard to be sociable and make conversations. I have no confidence and I get so nervous. :frown: I'm almost certain I'm not going to make any friends, unless I find another person like me on my course. :erm: :frown:


I've decided to throw myself in the deep end by moving into halls, and hoping it'll shock my system enough to turn it around. But I'm still worried, I visited my boyfriend for a couple of weeks and he took me out a few times with his friends, I tried really hard to socialize but out of the whole to weeks I barely strung together 1 or two sentences with his friends :/ and that was me in a pretty safe and controlled environment with someone I know (boyfriend) so how I'll react in a couple of weeks when I move in I have no idea. :frown:

Good luck to you, hope you overcome it. :smile:
Original post by BOdy Odour
She is not capable




She has to overcome it, by focusing on her writing work to get the first and therefore make her confident to get the job

Then again what degree is she doing, it may be pointless


But getting a first will improve her confidence




How does it not?

what social skills will you learn apart from that?

Social skills you muppet. :rolleyes:
In all seriousness, how on earth do you not see how social skills are important in working life? What about if you need to work in a team to produce a product? What if you need to lead other workers? What if you have to teach? Give presentations?

Regardless of how well I do on my degree and how good of a grade I come out with, if I were to walk into the interview with no social skills and clearly anxious and nervous I would not likely get the job, even if I did get the job I may not even be able to handle it and work well as I may find my job hard if I need to work with others.
Home sickness mainly (since I am from Guernsey, not the mainland). Of course living independently and trying to make friends with the people I am living with also plague my mind. Oh and then there is money and I could go on! :tongue:
Original post by SophieSmall
I've decided to throw myself in the deep end by moving into halls, and hoping it'll shock my system enough to turn it around. But I'm still worried, I visited my boyfriend for a couple of weeks and he took me out a few times with his friends, I tried really hard to socialize but out of the whole to weeks I barely strung together 1 or two sentences with his friends :/ and that was me in a pretty safe and controlled environment with someone I know (boyfriend) so how I'll react in a couple of weeks when I move in I have no idea. :frown:

Good luck to you, hope you overcome it. :smile:


You're braver than me, I specifically chose the uni in my hometown so I could stay living at home. :colondollar: I am the same, I cannot speak in front of a group of people, even if I know them all! :erm:

Thanks, good luck to you too!
Reply 58
Original post by BOdy Odour
She is not capable



Do you know her? Personally I think she's capable of an 80 and a full social life.


She has to overcome it, by focusing on her writing work to get the first and therefore make her confident to get the job

Then again what degree is she doing, it may be pointless


What? She has to overcome an issue with confidence in social situations by writing? This seems somewhat like advising someone who struggles with exams to sort that problem by practising coursework loads.

I don't know, I imagine it probably isn't pointless. It's very difficult to study for 3 years without some kind of end result, they're usually referred to as 'Finals'


But getting a first will improve her confidence


In her academic ability maybe, how will it help her to speak to people more easily?
Original post by Maid Marian
You're braver than me, I specifically chose the uni in my hometown so I could stay living at home. :colondollar: I am the same, I cannot speak in front of a group of people, even if I know them all! :erm:

Thanks, good luck to you too!


My uni is close enough for me to live at home, but I knew if I chose to stay at home for starters my mum would continue to drive me up the wall :tongue: and I wouldn't get the push I needed to turn around the social anxiety. I need the new environment to change I think.

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